So as I intensely experience my moments, I am reaching deeply within and without for new options – options that have always been there, but options that I could not, would not acknowledge. Really, it seems like that is what my life has been about, is this careful consciousness unfolding. I learn new and then that newness allows me to move beyond that which was before. It seems I have a great hunger, probably because what was, has stopped working for me and I could not hide or deny it anymore.
So I jumped on this opportunity to join a new world. A world that really only offered superficial comforts. I said good-by to relentless 90 degree weather and daily grueling and painful long distance commuting and moved to a place which instantly gave me fall temperatures and an 11 mile drive to work. But what am I really doing? I don’t know, I truly don’t know.
On the other hand, Eckhardt Tolle, refers to a knowing about what we must do in our lives. He said that when we are supposed to take action we will know that we must do so – and that knowing happened to me. Suddenly and without an agonizing decision process, it just happened. So, I don’t know, yet I do know, very deep in my being that I must be here, here in Virginia, opening my consciousness and moving on. Maybe, just maybe those things that I have been unwilling to see and acknowledge will clarify themselves to me and open my universe to new possibilities. Possibilities be damned: open myself to the whole universe and allow my little suffocating world to dance in the wind.