Archives for December 2011

15Dec

Life Energy

Often, when I speak of Life Energy, folks look at me kind of funny, like “what?”  Life Energy does not appear to have concrete rules about it and perhaps this is the reason it has not been subject to scientific inquiry.  Even though there are no concrete rules about it, there are some things about life energy that are true.

Life Energy is not just plain day to day Calorie – Activity = Energy Level.  Life Energy is also not Energy + Energy = Living.  Nah, neither of those concepts are quite accurate.  Life Energy is more complete and over-arching than either of those concepts.  Life energy encompasses everything.  It includes the physical, the emotional (feelings), the mental (thinking and beliefs) and the spiritual (that which infuses you).

Most people are only aware of physical energy and how it waxes and wanes through the day, the week or the month.  Those people who have endured tragedy, those who have experienced trauma, know what life energy means.  Life energy reveals itself in the most profound of human experiences; both in the “negative” and in the “positive”.  Life energy can be depleted but, it can also be nourished.  How we do this, is individual and unique.

As people get older, there is an almost indefinable difference in the ability to complete physical, emotional and mental tasks.  Some people will just attribute it to aging, some will state that they just don’t have the energy any more, some will merely state “I’m tired”.  This diminishment is the experience of the attrition of life energy.  While the first experience of it is usually physical, i.e. fatigue; there is much more to it than that.  Notice that the more mature a person is, the less willing they are to have drama in their lives…

I do not think that folks get an equal amount of life energy.  We also know that folks can replenish life energy in many different ways.  The way we lose life energy can also be different from person to person.  Some things about life energy are the same for everyone.   Trauma and tragedy deplete life energy significantly for anyone, not only in the moment, but in the long run.

Part of the concept of life energy is that: Life has a cumulative affect on you and your body.  The other part of this concept is that mental and emotional damage is as difficult and fatigue producing to heal as is physical damage.  One of the reasons why I call it “life energy” is to bring attention to the fact that most people do not understand the dynamic of emotional damage, mental damage or spiritual damage.  Unseen damage is NOT unreal, it is simply unseen.  Emotional and mental damage is (for the most part) invisible.  All damage drains your life energy.

Healing is a somewhat complex and personal process that takes time and looks differently to each person who is in such a process.  For most folks it involves resting and a healthy amount of self-determination.  Life damage does not occur because we choose it so, conversely, we need to know that we can do some things to avoid damage in the future – that is why self-determination is so important to the healing process.

15Dec

Talking with Him (Instead of Myself)

As I drive away, I am furiously thinking how misunderstood that I am.  When I say furiously thinking, I do not mean in an angry way, I mean intensely and quickly.  In my head I am listing all of the reasons why my feelings are hurt, I am carefully cataloging all of the outrages committed against my person.  They are all very real and my feelings are very hurt.

Then my inner therapist reminds me of a conversation that I had with a client recently.  The client and I were discussing all of the whys and wherefores of current behavior.   While I can say for sure that this is important information (knowing why I am acting like this now) – sometimes it is just a booby prize.  Knowing why something is happening is just not enough to fix it right now.  We need to actually do something to make a change.  My point to my client was simply, yes, honor your history, but be aware that the behavior that is occurring right now is what has to change.  After all is said and done, you do not change history.

I don’t have to remember the part about history so much as I have to remember the goal of right now.  Yes, yes, my feelings are hurt, but what I really want to have is resolution with him – NOT with my head.  I know the whys and the wherefores, what I need to do is communicate those with him.  In this case, it is not understanding that is the “booby prize”, rather, it is thinking that is the booby prize.  I do not need to think any more, what I really need, is to communicate.