Archives for January 2017

30Jan

Letters to My Granddaughters

Letters to my Granddaughters;

  1. Understand that there is billions of dollars in advertising aimed at you *to get you* to believe certain things that the marketing industry is selling: Here I state the opposite of those commercials.
    1. You do NOT need expensive shampoo to get clean hair.
    2. You do NOT need an expensive hair color to feel “worth it”.
    3. You do NOT need to buy $231.00 of make up to “feel pretty”.
    4. You do NOT need to wear size 2 in order to be sexy, or pretty.
  2. You are being virtually bombarded with untrue images of women on a minute-by-minute basis.
  3. Use this information to gain what you want, not to be what “they” want.
  4. Do not believe that your life is about sex and sexuality: it is not. Sex is an important part of life, yet it is only a part.
  5. What you look like and who you are is separate, it is not the same.

Listen, listen to your body.  Again, the advertising industry wants you to believe that you need, or you must purchase something in order to have good health or perfect digestion.  Your body will tell you what you need.  Read research on appropriate self care, and then listen to your body.  Your body will tell you what kind of vitamins you need and when.  I did in-depth research about why I was craving chocolate before my menstrual cycle.  I found out that I was missing a crucial dose of magnesium.  I began taking magnesium for a week each month and I was able to get chocolate cravings under control.

Listen, listen to your intuition.  Your own intuition will never steer you wrong.  You know when you are making a mistake, when that voice in the back of your head starts screaming “Stop!”, listen to the voice, it is your own voice, it never steers you wrong.

Be proud of who you are.  I was 13 years old when I became aware of ‘Jordache’ jeans.  I remember thinking “I don’t want someone else’s name on my behind.”  There is no designer who is as good about your looks as you are and you can be proud of that.

This is letter number one, there is more, so much more to being a woman.

28Jan

We Must Take Action

Take Action

25Jan

I’m Not Sure What People are Thinking

But, does no one remember the French revolution, nor the reason for Bastille Day?    Wikipedia says the famous phrase “let them eat cake” means: Let them eat cake” is the traditional translation of the French phrase “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche”, supposedly spoken by “a great princess” upon learning that the peasants had no bread. Since brioche was a luxury bread enriched with butter and eggs, the quote would reflect the princess’s disregard for the peasants, or at least a complete lack of understanding that the absence of basic food staples was due to poverty rather than a lack of supply.

These things happened in history and we pay no attention to them.  When the wealthy have a disregard for the common person; when the common person does not eat; bad things can and will happen to the wealthy.

We have no royalty here in America and yet we hold to the tradition of royalty by allowing capitalism to rule all decisions.  Those who are wealthy are treated like royalty.  They make laws and they rape the common person at every opportunity.  High taxes for the common person, no taxes for the wealthy.

What is happening now with Donald Trump is unrecognizable by many, yet the truth comes toward us and has probably been coming towards us for many decades.  Take away the ability for a common person to make bread for their families and you endanger the safety of those who withhold those foods.

We now have a president who plays games with words and with the press.  His values are diametrically opposed to American values.  He is dishonest; he uses his money and position to harm women and probably men also.  He is against equality in all of its forms and particularly against economic equality.  Donald Trump is a racist, and is supported by numerous white men, including a majority of the Republican oligarchy.

I am worried for America because we are a fresh and new country and do not have experience with how to manage these issues.  Many people have stated that Trump is supposed to fix all that is wrong with America, but instead, he fixes nothing and instead moves forward the white male capitalistic agenda.  All of the common people who do not gain improvement and who are punished by voting for Trump will increase as time goes by.

When they (Trump’s Administration) normalize violence against civilians by going forward with the Dakota Access Pipe Line (DAPL) and using American troops against Native Americans, this country is open to violent civil disobedience.  This is a very bad sign for the status of our country.  Americans cannot turn their heads away from these crimes against humanity.  Starvation of the common people, advocating for violence against women and then the use of American troops against Native Americans; where does it end?  We haven’t even addressed all of those Americans who will die as a result of the Trump’s administration removal of the Affordable Care Act.

None of this is good and bodes poorly for our future as Americans.

23Jan

From May 21,2010

Being open is fearful stuff.  Anticipation, hope and desire swirl around the edges.  Being open allows “knowing” in.  Some times “knowing” is unpleasant, hurtful, painful.  Being open requires faith.  Faith waxes and wanes like the moon.  Life is all of it…

23Jan

My Quest for a Perfect Appearance

New Years Eve 2016

New Years Eve 2016

No one notices it quite like I do. No one is at all concerned about the perfect match of my earrings to my outfit. I was quite deflated when I realized this. But then, something happened, I became immersed in my own standards. To heck with whether or not others realized that my lipstick was a perfect match for my fingernail polish, I realized it and I cared. At some point, I became the approver of my perfect appearance. When that happened, I was relieved! I didn’t become less caring about my appearance, I was the same.

21Jan

Our Brain Can Change the Reality of History… And What is the Point of Guilt?

My own mother evoked gratefulness and love.  I am not sure why I was particularly present with her, but I was.  I invited her to be with me as much as possible.  Before my mother passed away 21 years ago, we spent an entire day together, one on one and I enjoyed every minute.  She was the kind of woman you could feel comfortable with and it was easy to respect her.  When she died, I didn’t feel regretful because I told her over and over again “I love you, Mom.”  ”You are the greatest mom.”

For Ella Mae, my mother-in-law, it was quite a different matter.  When she passed in 2005, I had not prepared in the same way I did my mother.  I loved her and told her so, but she never knew how important she was to me and our family.  Because she was a formal woman, there just was not the casual love that was available in my family of origin.

I have valued Ella Mae more in retrospect, than I ever did while she was alive.  My own mother knew how much I valued her, I wrote cards and letters and expressed my joy and love in many different ways.  Ella Mae, not as much.  I am very grateful for her contribution to our family and for this reason, I have for the last 12 years been valuing her “things”.

I know better than most that guilt is no replacement for current action and present love, and yet, here I am indulging in guilt because I did not treat her the way that I would want to treat her today.  I find myself thinking “I must hang onto to Ella Mae’s china so that I can pass it on to my daughters.”  Why would I want to imbue value onto the china if I didn’t feel some measure of guilt?  I didn’t value Ella Mae enough while living and so now I must value her china to show the kids how important that she was.  It’s just not necessary with my mother’s things because her value was so well established while she lived.

In this case, I think the point of guilt is so that I can convince myself that I loved her enough and that she knew it.  If I didn’t love her enough while she lived, I am trying to make up for it.  This is a burden for all of us.  It is a burden that I do not wish to bear, nor do I believe that there is any way to make up for my behavior once someone has passed away, nor will I make promises about future behavior.  I simply must say that Ella Mae gave us much, she taught manners and in this way made us comfortable in any environment.  Ella Mae taught me that birthdays are important, my family never celebrated birthdays, it was Ella Mae who brought that tradition to us.  She loved step grandchildren and biological grandchildren and tried very hard to be fair.  She was not fair; the attempt was there.  For this I am grateful.

Ella Mae was a very gracious woman who welcomed everyone into her home.  She saw holidays as a means to give me a rest and she would never let me lift a finger or ‘bring’ something.  She cooked like a chef and hostessed like a queen, and it was those talents that she passed to me.  She had a beautiful silk hanging in the dining room.  For some reason both of my sons had to touch it every single time they passed by on the way to the kitchen.  She may have grimaced and she may have said something, but she never got mad.  Her graciousness extended to everyone.

Maybe now that I understand why I am hanging onto the china, I can actually put it down.  No one wants that stuff anymore.  I do hope that I can pass on graciousness, that’s a gift worth giving.