“The lady doth protest too much, methinks” is a quotation from the 1599/1600 play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. It has been used as a figure of speech, in various phrasings, to describe someone’s too frequent and vehement attempts to convince others of some matter of which the opposite is true, thereby making themselves appear defensive, and insincere. Wikipedia
I’m not upset by this horrible woman’s horribleness. Others have said it well “haters are gonna hate”! She can be angry and sanctimonious, I don’t care. She is judgmental and reveals her bitterness by voicing her false belief about her own piety. She is not a pious woman, instead she is one who excuses herself and condemns others. This is such a common human practice! Most people will excuse their own behaviors easily with reasons that they hold dear. The same people will say, “oh, look at that bad behavior”, only when observing others!
This is my upset ness: don’t blame yourself on Jesus or on God. You are not behaving badly, meanly to humans, because you are a Christian. Christianity would never advocate for such treatment of others.
Secondly, “why do I have to see you at all? You don’t deserve a news broadcast, I don’t deserve to have to see you.” Better that I never knew about you and your meanness.
“Please, leave Kim What’s-her-Name out of our next news cast, we don’t want to see her meanness anymore.”
I walk across the parking lot and I take the stairs four times per day, every weekday. I also walk a 15 minute mile at least 3 times per week at lunch time. I jump up when I can sit down and I carry my own groceries so that I can have the experience of lifting. If that weren’t enough I also have a set of stretches that I do every week day morning to keep my back and knee from getting stiff and sore.
The expectation that I have is that all of this effort will give me a slender body. It does not. Eating right does not equal a slender body. Living healthy and actively does not equal a slender body. I have a couple of things working against me: I have bradycardia = slow heartbeat = slow metabolism. My heart does not need treatment; it is at least partially a side effect of my hypothyroidism, but there it is, the kiss of death to an “easy” diet.
Back to entitlement, healthy eating does not equal slender body, actively living does not equal slender body. Slender body is eating less than actively using, that is the only equation that exists. I can feel sorry for myself because my metabolism makes me work harder than other people, I can believe that the physical universe is unjust to me and none of that matters to this reality.
Slender body = eating less than my body uses. Now that’s an equation.
Don’t “give” advice, it makes people want to return the favor.
I also don’t like the external message which is often mixed with resentment and sometimes, downright contempt. Honestly, disapproval or condescension is a turn off. If I have enough bad experiences with someone, I will find a way to get that person out of my life permanently. Even when someone gives me (unasked for) advice and direction lovingly, there is a point when I get tired of it.
For the most part, I think the following things about these people: 1. You are trying to prove you are in control. 2. You are trying to inflate your ego by presenting an idea that you know something that you believe (or hope) I do not know. 3. You are lonely and scared and showing people how ‘smart’ you are is your way of gaining confidence. 4. You want to dominate the conversation with your ‘wisdom’ and ‘knowledge’, thus ensuring attention that you are desperate for. 5. Sometimes, people have strong belief systems wherein they want reassurance thru selling their ideas to others, hoping to gain agreement for their belief systems: for example, parenting and dieting.
No matter how I think about it, I always walk away from these kind of discussions feeling annoyed. I tell people to their face, I don’t need your advice, sometimes I will couch it nicely like “you’re preaching to the choir”, meaning yes, I am already on top of this subject, or I may even be aggressive about it and say “please don’t repeat yourself, I-got-it-in-one.”
Truly, I am losing my patience with this kind of exchange. One person I know is *almost stalking me* so that she can demonstrate how rich and smart she is, another person I know cannot have a conversation with me without telling me that I have made an error and indeed, since this person is so much smarter, they could have told me how to correct myself, in advance of my error. I want people to know that whatever they see in me that makes them want to control and / or convince me of their intelligence – I sincerely apologize. I am not interested in supplanting anyone; or dominating anyone or in any other way competing with anyone.
One-upmanship truly is useless in relationships. The mere fact that I exist, may annoy or upset some people, I can’t and won’t apologize for that! I started this article discussing my internal conversation. My internal conversation is sometimes unworthy. When I make my internal conversation more worthy, then the external conversations are much less likely to annoy me. So there is this: you take care of yourself, stop trying to tell me what and how to live, work, and where to be. In exchange, I promise to work on my internal conversation such that your effect on me, does not force me to get you out of my life permanently.
They don’t like you and start saying mean things to you or about you?
Why do humans do this? When we are unhappy with someone and they will not produce our fondest wishes, we disparage them? Why do we do this? As humans, if we do not get what we want, why do we attack those people whom we need and/or love?
Why do we attack if people don’t agree with us or give us what we want? We should not. I say that we evaluate and allow the person off the hook… Often people say no to us out of mistaken beliefs that what we want is not good, or that they cannot provide us with what we want. In any case, it is often not the fault of the naysayer that the answer is no – do not attack the person.
Humans who only have relationship with animals. Think about it, cats, dogs and horses cannot talk back or tell on anyone. They will do pretty much what the human tells them to do.
Humans can do what they want (all kinds of bad things) with their animals and no one punishes the human unless what bad they do, is known. The other thing that bothers me about this arrangement is what does it say about a person when the only being that a person can live with and get along with is an animal that cannot talk back or otherwise disagree with the person?
It’s the experience! I love the fall, my birthday is next… Thanksgiving has always been a favorite holiday for me (it reminds me that yes, I did something for my mother) and Christmas is jubilant. Even when I don’t feel like it, I always decorate for Christmas. (Sometimes, it is genuinely difficult to sort through Christmas decorations.) Still, it is always wonderful to spend time with my family!
Experience is why it all goes by so quickly! If I dread something, the time goes so slow. Summer is hot and long – And, it lasts for a really long time, especially in Florida! Wow, once it’s over, it moves very quickly. So those things I want to avoid, I resist, those things I want to have I do not resist – and that has something to do with how quickly time moves. When I thoroughly experience something, when I dive all the way in, the experience moves very quickly. When I back-pedal and resist, the experience seems to run on forever.
So here we go, another year, another holiday season and another chance to experience all of the love and the joy that a family can give to each other. I want to grab every minute.
It is like being a parent, if you are not a parent, you have no way of experiencing the wide range of emotion that parenting brings to an individual. Because of that, you cannot judge a parental reaction very well. You cannot evaluate what is essentially a mystery to you.
Men accept that women are not known to them. It was a man who coined the term “the mystery of a woman”. You may hear them talking about women and discussing with each other how they really do not understand women at all. On the other hand, if you listen to women talking, they seem to think that, not only do they know all about men, but they also understand all of the mysteries of the universe. Women won’t admit that men are essentially very different and that a feminine evaluation of them may miss the mark of reality completely.
I’m not saying that women are particularly better at being “know-it-alls”. I really am not! Men can be really dumb too. The current attempts at legislating birth control and abortion are spectacular examples of men being “know-it-alls”. What I am saying is that men will admit they have no clue about women. Women will not admit that they have no clue about men. For the last 50 or 60 years women have been trying to communicate with men as if they are women and it is not working. Men have a special language that does not include a feminine perspective at all, they all know it. It does not matter to them if women understand this masculine language and that is a demarcation line in itself. Women want to and think they should ‘understand’ everything. Men just don’t have that need…
Now, all I want is a nap. I mean it. Really, I can take normal, I don’t want to marry a woman, I’m not mad because I am trounced on by proud white men. I just want to get by. That may be a sad statement about reality, but really, I just want to get by. I don’t want to change the world, I really just want to make sure that my kids get a real chance at a good life and I hope that I can live to be old with dignity. I don’t want anything special, just to stay off of the alzheimer medications!
So really, let me be. I was all fiery about having the perfect home and then the perfect kids and then the perfect foods and it all just fizzled out, yeah, like that. What I really want now; is to know love, to know peace and to experience joy. I cannot have any of those things if I am running around angry or frustrated or aggressive. All of those things (love, peace and joy) are available to me through acceptance. Acceptance is unconditional, I have to be alright right now with what is right now. I am not working towards something, I am not trying to accomplish anything, I am, that is all.
For me, the middle child, who must accomplish and who must be productive, this is difficult. I have been driven, all of my life. I have n.e.v.e.r. known peace, ever. I had this idea that I would rest when I accomplished whatever it was that needed to be done in order for me to feel successful. It just wasn’t to be done. Because when you have that feeling of ‘doing’ there is no ‘done’.
So now, I say, accept. Have what you have. It is what it is. Be as you are. Yeah.