I do not think people realize that this unrelenting punishment of others will not gain anything for them. At first they may think that they are reforming the other person into someone that they like more, but in the end, all that happens is that the person finds a way to escape from the Punisher.
The heart hurts, the spirit is low and so the punished will find a way to run away. Sometimes, these situations do not change and in those cases the relationship requires a complete divorce. It is a sad thing to witness. Every single time that I am witness to this situation, or when I experience this situation, I always wonder about intention.
What is your intention in this relationship? Do you want to continue the relationship? If you want to continue the relationship why do you make the other person feel bad, by constantly telling them that they are wrong? When you lecture another, you are telling them that they are not smart enough on their own. Your crusade of “rightness” leaves them feeling hurt and angry.
Do you understand support? Do you understand that support is the action of giving? Giving means the relinquishment of what you desire in order to care for another. Giving is the most effective means of maintaining a relationship. Giving does not equate to material comfort (although it can). Giving equates to a smiling face, an answering grace, a soft touch of the shoulder, a promise kept – in spite of negative odds against it. Find your intention among all of your feelings and decide if you want to maintain the relationship and then decide how you can do that.
You cannot maintain a relationship with relentless punishment, you cannot.
