I recently had a spirited discussion with my male friend, who stated that he thought that people are being victims “many people are living from a disposition of being a victim.” “They go to the notion that they are being oppressed somehow, even when they are not.”

I believe that this is true. It is easy to develop a victim mindset within American Culture. “Martin Seligman’s research “learned helplessness” is strongly related, showing that experiencing a series of uncontrollable negative shocks can lead to a passive, “victim” mindset.” Quoting Google with research attached.

I thought we were heading towards one of our interesting debates that reflected some of the information included in this research. 

Photo by Ann on Unsplash “Spirited Discussion”

We did not have that conversation. What I recognized instead was an idea that those that see themselves as victims should receive legal consequences when their behavior became reckless. I perceived that point of view as an attack. That’s because I feel victimized by my culture. I am a woman who has suffered many consequences put in place because of my gender. I don’t want anyone from outside punishing me for my point of view. I missed his point which is that, when your victim mentality makes you a vandal, you should be prosecuted for your actions. This is a good point. However,

My thinking is negative in that, I watched the Capitol 1/6/21 insurrection and the consequence to the criminals who perpetrated it, which was very little, because of the commutation of sentences by DJT.

I am back to zero and instead of seeing a judicial consequence for victims, I see chaos until our world is righted from these wrongs committed by our highest trusted and elected officials.

Define victim? After the Vietnam war thousands of Officers in the Armed Forces were RIFed (meaning a reduction in force which led to being terminate/fired). To a man, every single one I met, quit filing their income taxes or cheated on their income taxes. Not one of them ever trusted the Federal government again. 

Photo by Ann on Unsplash “Everything about it was wrong except the Soldiers“

In retrospect, I am ashamed of what I said to him. “Your birth family was professional at victimization – you recognize it but are blind to other things.” Of course, he was angry with me. That’s one side, and it is a valid one, the other side is that if you want to have a scholarly opinion about something, you better damn well plumb the depths of your soul so that you can speak about the concept fairly. Otherwise, you are just Stephen Miller on steroids, out there amplifying the conversation of “others do not have the privilege and rights that I enjoy and I must destroy anyone who doesn’t agree with my personal opinion.”

Back to the concepts of victimization and victims. The victim mindset is pervasive in our culture, but that is because our culture is especially mean to those who live below the middle class. We allow them to suffer the most and pay the most for the privilege of America. No one missed the story of Warren Buffet who paid less in taxes than his secretary. No one misses the brutality of ICE in the headlines today. Anyone who believes that the brutality of ICE is a new phenomenon, think again. This brutality is pervasive in the blue culture of policing in America.

If you have ever worked in an office environment you are acquainted with the egos of any supervisor. People who use their positions to lay blame and shame to subordinates, it’s the American Way. Anyone who says different has never worked more than one job.

Photo by Jack B on Unsplash “We’re Drowning Here“

We don’t have family leave, we don’t have vacations, we don’t have housing, we don’t have any number of things that would allow Americans to build a family with happiness.

But to my friend’s point. You can be victimized, you can even be a victim, but you cannot violently torture others with your own personal torture. To my friend’s point, downtown Portland is effectively closed down because vandals keep causing massive property damage. My friend is angry and wants the vandals prosecuted and sees this issue as a DOJ problem. I do not. Fixing this issue externally with jail time will only increase the vandal’s victim mindset of being persecuted.

I don’t see an external fix to this internal problem. If you have been victimized, you do not have to have a victim mindset, you can break through to a different and better reality.

But fixing victimization in our culture is amazingly complex and requires a focus on Americans and away from elected officials, their collective egos, war and personal aggrandizement at the cost of the most vulnerable. In other words our social structure gives all to the winners and nothing to those who serve them.

Americans are being victimized, and they are the victims – mindset or not.