My husband says “please write something positive” and I want to, I truly, truly want to.  I can’t seem to shake this bleak fog that has descended upon me.  I am frustrated and it seems to be a condition.  I am a person who needs fairness, justice and equity and it seems to be in my DNA, I was born that way.  I am frustrated because I forget why I make wise decisions and I have to revisit them.  For example, 25 years ago I decide to stop watching the news.  I am too sensitive and the news is too painful to bear.  I started a new job and the tradition here is to read the daily freebie newspaper at lunch.  I tried it out, and soon I was crying my way through my leftovers and having nightmares about giant snakes – no good.  Okay, so re-decide – don’t read the news.

I am frustrated because with all of the technological advances at our disposal we cannot achieve one simple solitary example of great customer service.  I am a Verizon customer, I can get to a Verizon operator relatively painlessly if I dial *66 from my Verizon phone.  My Verizon phone is broken, I cannot dial anyone, so I go onto the website where they do NOT publish phone numbers and where they want me to talk with an Avatar who does not answer my question but references miles and miles of data in hopes that I will read for four hours and answer my own question.  This is the service I get for thousands of dollars a year and I still don’t own any stock and so will not get any benefit from my investment.

I am frustrated because I am constantly amazed by corporate America’s newest greatest way to rip off the American consumer.  I bought new flatware on the internet only to find that they have shaved an inch off of the spoon.  Really? What, hands suddenly got shorter, or stainless steel got more expensive?  I tried to get a service call from my home Wi-Fi provider only to be led through a two month long battle with workmen who do not talk with each other and a system that ‘qualifies’ you for a home visit. I ended up having to change providers, which cost another $350.00…  I work in downtown Tampa and intermittently I must make a deposit into my bank account.  The bank that I visit; has 60 foot ceilings, marble floors and at least a dozen people on full time salaries whose job it is to stand around and look official.  I can’t believe that anyone speaks of government waste when the private sector, literally burns money for entertainment. I am so disgusted with the American banking system, after actually raping American home-owners; they give themselves lavish parties at resorts close to the equator.

Contrast this with my wish for a modest vacation that lasts for 10 days.  We will save for a year, or conversely charge it and pay for a year for a 10 day visit to a resort.

Trust me; I do not need trite advice about being grateful.  I am aware that I am one of the luckiest women alive.  I totally know that.  My kids are alive and healthy; my husband is loving and caring.  I have a warm home and I can grocery shop every single week.  These are all things that I am grateful for.

Being grateful does not stop me from feeling hurt and angry that greed is creating such inequity in our world.  It doesn’t stop me from feeling personally ripped off by corporate America – that nameless, faceless place where all of our money is going.

Hey, I don’t like this.  It is a sociological fact, at least my undergraduate sociology professor said so, that humans need to stand on top of other humans.  A man always has to put another man down.  We know this, because it is the source of bigotry and prejudice.  Geez, humans have been practicing one-up-man-ship since property ownership came into being.  The point has always been to preserve the wealth of the man on top.  All the humans underneath get into a panic and start standing on each other – so as not to be the person on the bottom.  Simple human dynamics, yeah.

When you experience it on a personal level, it’s ugly.  Yeah, yeah, bigotry and prejudice are ugly, but how do you feel when you are in a situation when folks can condescend to you?  It’s not like anyone gets away with it, it’s more like an ugly disease, when you spread some, it just keeps on going.  Condescension, one-up-man-ship, it is all stuff that thrives in America.  The reason it thrives in America is because our capitalist society idolizes wealth.  People can do the most horrific and dishonest stuff, but if they are wealthy, they will get away with it – only in America.  This is the country where wealthy banks rape the average American consumer, but cannot be punished because we think wealth is a ‘higher good’.

It is a hierarchy that requires that someone be on the bottom of the pile.  In the meantime, everyone who is in the middle must fight to survive.  The way to fight is to stay on top of those who are below.  Bigotry and prejudice are ugly, but the private and ugly truth is that the war rages on a very personal level.  It does no one good and spreads like the plague.  Condescension, petty meanness, and all other forms of standing on top of others is no way to survive or to gain riches, it is just a way of spreading the disease of hierarchy.