Archives for November 2015


Your Background Belief Guides Your Everyday Actions

Which is what forms your practical structures.
If you believe that people are essentially good and want to achieve, you will treat them this way, if you believe that people are essentially lazy, you will treat them a different way.
This is another reason for being in the now, it allows you to deal with the situation in front of you, instead of the situation behind you.
How you treat others is essentially the groundwork for how they will treat you. If you believe that your “rank” protects you from the consequences of how you treat others, that is a mistake. While subordinates very rarely give honest feedback to managers, it does not mean that their actions will follow suit. If given a chance, subordinates will find a way to treat a manager the same as they have been treated by that manager.
In any case, beliefs are the the practical structure that gives sustenance to daily chores and thus creates the foundation for how our work affects ourselves and others.
Think of it this way, when you approach someone, and they smile broadly, welcoming your approach, you feel much differently than when you are scowled at. Whether we know it or not, we broadcast our beliefs about the world, and each other, in a myriad of ways, every single day.
I always encourage everyone to understand their own thought processes, so that the underlying beliefs can be identified. It is only through identification that these beliefs can be managed. Often, people think that their own beliefs are reality and do not need to be examined, but nothing could be further from the truth.
It is fundamentally important to identify your beliefs and to understand their relevance to your everyday life and behavior. By doing this, you become better able to be here now, which is the only time and place for reality.


How Advertising Cheats Us

I don’t know how or when it happened, but we base many of our cultural definitions on what the TV tells us is true and correct. We see freedom as a function of owning the correct truck, we see beauty as a product of youth, and we see wealth as a function of owning the right car. Commercialism and advertising have become the definition for how we see each other and ourselves.
How advertising draws these connections is insidious. As we watch the pretty, young, blonde woman get into the fast car with a handsome and dark stranger, we become convinced that having that fast car will gain us the pretty blonde woman. The truth of the matter is that none of this is true. The connections between youth and happiness, between a fast car and sex are all fairy tales. I’m not sure I understand how our culture has allowed these false beliefs to run amuck within our society.
During the 80s nothing was more important than personal wealth, we watched shows like “Dallas” and knowing that the wealthy were evil didn’t stop us from admiring and emulating them. This national belief in wealth brought us to where we are today. We have an extremely wealthy 1% and each and everyone else struggles. More than 50% of our population here in America lives in poverty. Currently, many people believe that if someone is poor, it is their own fault. This belief system was perpetuated by the 80s mindset which said that anything you do to get wealthy is okay, as long as you get wealthy. We had a culture of the ends justify the means. What happened along the way, is that powerful and wealthy groups began to legislate their wealth.
Walmart is the perfect example of this legislation. A minimum wage, which is not enough to pay rent, in any state of this nation, has been in place for 30 years. The profit from Walmart is funneled into a few individuals’ pockets, while poverty stricken and therefore powerless people , who work for Walmart, struggle to eat. Walmart workers are forced to use Medicaid and get food stamps, because Walmart has found a way to keep their hours under 40, therein bypassing the requirement to provide health insurance and other benefits to workers.
Because our culture says you can do anything, it is your fault that you are not wealthy. This credo has become the middle and upper class mantra because it justifies withholding benefit and money from the poverty stricken. “We are justified in hanging onto our millions, because look, the lower class is lazy.” These are the kinds of false beliefs that come out of our entertainment and advertising businesses here in America.
This is a justification that has been perpetrated on all of America and you know what? We know better, we know that our system is riddled with inequality, inconsistency and economic deprivation of others for personal gain. We also know that it is not just criminals who are stealing from the American people, it is also big corporations, banks and Wall Street. Indeed, any one institution that can steal, has been caught stealing.
Early in the morning, while I am getting ready for work, I can hear the commercials playing in the background. McDonald’s has a way of luring people into believing that drinking their coffee is about love and about having a great day. The last time I was at McDonald’s there was nothing lovely or great about it and I certainly didn’t want to whistle, nor did I turn into bright colors. However, in spite of our very real experience, this association is believed by millions of my workmates, who cannot see themselves starting the day without McDonald’s or Starbucks.
How did this happen? At what point did we decide to give over our intellect in favor of entertainment?


Some Moments Describe Your Life…

No moment defines it.

A moment in time...

A moment in time…


Beware the Message, Because of the Messenger

In my ignorance, I believed that everyone was aware that they have a point of view and that the point of view is uniquely their own and not necessarily reality. I know that humans love being right and correct in all things, yet I believed that we are all, at least aware, that our point of view is skewed by our own background and our emotions.
Doesn’t everyone understand that motivations are very personal? I mean one reason why we do not “trust” salesmen is because the motivation is counter to our own motivation which is to keep our money, while the salesman wishes us to part with our money. So inherently, we all know that motivation is personal.

I am surprised when people don’t recognize that actions have motivations behind them. For all supervisors and management staff, indeed for anyone who has a senior decision making role in any position in life, one must consider the motivation for all incoming communication and feedback. Only by understanding that all behavior is motivated and that motivations are strictly personal in nature, can we truly evaluate the point of the conversation.

Many will come to you to attempt to bend your opinions and actions to their own personal point of view, this is called lobbying, and everyone engages in it. We fall into relationships that require trust and sometimes that will lull us into not thinking, because, clearly, if we thought about it, we would know when malfeasance was coming our way.
What is coming your way?


My Daughter My Heart

Who can know which way the heart will go? Who can know what will take us, what will make us and what our true heart song will be?

Together ForeverMy Loves
The birth of my daughter. One of the best events of my life. Happy Birthday Johanna, I love you.


It is Not Always Correct to be Polite

I am sitting in a dentist’s chair with a cute little intern leaning over me, pressing hard on the metal mold. I growled. I won’t sit still for pain, I can deal with it, but you gotta tell me why and for how long. You can’t just place metal in my mouth and smother me with goop and expect me to be polite and deal with it.
The dental assistant is shocked that I would actually speak up for myself. I don’t get mad, I am not angry or upset, but I have been told many times that this process will only take five minutes. I waited in the lobby for half an hour and then sat in the dental chair for twenty minutes and all of this for a five minute procedure. So while the staff looks at me with consternation; I am quietly wondering if the whole world has gone mad. When did our society get to the point of politeness overwhelming common sense?
I am saying that we should be giving people feedback, otherwise how will people know that they are performing inefficiently or worse haphazardly? Since when has speaking up become impoliteness?
It is nonsensical for doctors, dentists or any other professionals to schedule other people’s time in such a way that the time is lost. If I make an agreement with you and promise to pay you for whatever your procedure is, why can’t I deduct from my payment to you equivalent to my time you have wasted?
And when I speak up, why, why are you shocked?
I am not mad, I am not mean. I just want to give you some feedback. In my world, F is for feedback, not failure.