Archives for October 2013


Management Concepts Conversation with Bruce

Self efficacy is a well known concept that is linked with success at work and success in management.  Self efficacy means that I have belief in my own competence and I am confident.  Albert Bandura said  “the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations.”  Management benefits from being aware of basic psychological concepts.

If you are a manager who is insecure or, as well, you are a manager who is self-important and believes in their own intelligence above all others, then you face a challenge in managing others.

If you are insecure you will constantly challenge others in order to make your position stable.  With your fears, you constantly question what you do and additionally question what all others around you do. This questioning sends a message of no confidence.  Engaging in attention getting behavior will undermine your staff and their ability to feel confident about what they do.  Attention gaining behavior will disengage staff and when this disconnection occurs, disloyalty may soon follow.

If instead, your mission in life is intellectual superiority, similar results are probable.  The need to be intellectually superior interferes with good management, as people need to feel competent about their work.  An intellectually superior supervisor will constantly send a message that they have all the answers while others cannot and do not have answers.  These managers will use their position as managers to engorge themselves to an inflated ego. They will constantly fill their ego needs with others’ insecurity or need for a job.  People will tolerate bad management and ego inflated supervisors in order to keep work.   This almost never works to enrich and enlarge a workforce.  Good managers understand that fundamentally, staff must feel capable in order to execute their work.  Good managers will not use their staff to pontificate or to fulfill their own needs.

A staff with self efficacy is going to feel capable and confident.  Staff who are capable and confident do the work much more effectively and efficiently.  Effective and efficient work means more success in business.

Ego needs are very human, but the work place is not the place to fulfill ego needs, not if you want to be an effective manager.  When you are inside of your ego, it is difficult to recognize what you are doing.  People must often work hard to recognize what their ego is doing.  Once you recognize your egoic behavior, you can then take steps to be an effective manager.  Effective managers give credit and compliments to their staff and assure their staff that their competence is a valuable asset to the organization.  Confidence building is what good managers do for staff and good mangers do not expect confidence building from staff.


Defensiveness Rarely Works Out

If I am defensive, I am unable to hear you.  Your feedback may be important, but it may not be important.  If I do not hear you, then I will never know.  However, chances are, if I listen to feedback I will find some important information.  That information may tell me how people perceive me.  If there is something that I do not like about the perception about me I may be able to work a way that influences perception of me positively.

Notice that I do not say that I will change myself because of another person’s perception.  Instead I say that if the feedback is valuable, if I wish for the other person to perceive me more positively, then I seek to influence their perception in a positive manner.  I do not change myself, nor do I believe feedback is always good, or even indicative of a person’s perceptive ability.  Often, people believe that they can perceive things that they cannot.  They tell themselves that they are wise and really they are a quagmire of their own ego.

Defensiveness stops any message in, and you must be open in order to hear the universe.


Proving Yourself

If you are in a constant litany to prove yourself, who are you?  Really?  Even if you are young, you cannot and indeed must not spend your time questioning yourself.  Even if you do not know who you are, let the things that you do know about yourself be enough for you.  Doubting yourself only invites others in – to mold you into what they wish for.  This never works out, unless you are already what is wished for.

You may want others to applaud and appreciate, but this will bring you nowhere quickly because ‘others’ cannot be your source of applause and appreciation.  I think it is great if it works out that way, yet, since life does not always work the way that we wish, we must learn to look inside for what we need.


How to NOT Keep Loved Ones…

If you are busy telling your loved ones what is wrong with them: you are an idiot, but do not worry as you will not have loved ones for very long.  If you manage to hang on to your loved ones for a long period of time and you continue to criticize them, then when they do leave you, it will be in a blaze of hatred.



Your children should never know anything about your relationship with your husband, wife, significant other.  It’s not appropriate and should not be done, no matter how old your children are.


Human Rights

I have the right to complete control of my own body.  This right cannot be abridged in any way by any entity.

I have the right to live in an environment that is free from flying bullets.

I have the right to live in an environment that is free from military threat.

I have the right to expect that cruelty to humans, will be punished by humans.

I have the right to expect my government to take care of humans who are hungry, sick or disabled.

I have the right to economic equality: to expect food, shelter and health care that is shared by all.

I have the right to participate in a transparent society that makes it impossible for liars and thieves to steal and cheat from everyone.

I have the right to expect my society to be responsive to current needs for justice and to never place “tradition” over the needs of human beings to be safe today.

Human Rights are universal, they apply to everyone.


I Do Not Like it That Women Invite Men to Tell Them What to Do

Here is what I mean by that.  Since the beginning of time women have dominated cooking, baking and otherwise culinary stuff.  For some reason, now that there is such a thing as ‘top chef’ we have men dominating TV, recipe books and otherwise commercial undertakings.  Who invited men into the kitchen and who left them in charge?  It’s ridiculous that they get so close to dominating this field, particularly when it comes to commercial presentation (read money and dollars).  Why do women go for this stuff?  I think part of the reason why Paula Deen was vilified is because she dares to dominate in a field where we should ALWAYS be dominating.  Like Martha Stewart, Paula Deen dared to be good and make a dollar off of it.  So when the “powers that be” found a vulnerability they persecuted Paula Deen.  Ack do I sound like a paranoid theorist?

Here is the other insult: “Adam’s Style Sheet” in Oprah’s magazine.  Oh my gosh, really?  There isn’t a beautiful, stylish, intelligent woman to tell us how to dress?  I am personally offended by this guy claiming to understand what is hot and what is not.  I have never, ever dressed for a man, I have always dressed for women and any self-respecting woman would tell you that.  Even if that were not the case, I don’t like a man being an expert about feminine style, it just doesn’t sit right with me.  I think women are far more wise about style and fashion, especially for women.

Women need to listen to themselves.  We don’t need men to dominate cooking and to tell us what to wear.  We are the best at both.


You Can Make a Difference, But You Cannot Make Things Happen

I can love my daughter-in-law and take care of her.  I can welcome her to her new family and treat her like a princess.  I cannot make her stay married to my son.  I cannot make her stay in my family.  I can do everything I know how to do to keep her in my family, but I cannot keep her unless she wants to stay.


Malicious Activity Interrupts the Rhythm of Living


Karma is not real:

If Karma was real 15 year old girls would not die of cancer, 10 year old boys would not be murdered in a fire fight.  There would be no child abuse, nor incest with rape.   Life is awful sometimes, it just is.  It is up to humans to make it better.

There is no universe that blindly gives justice to humans.  Only humans can apply justice to and for each other.  This does not mean that we should lack faith.  Sometimes believing in the goodness of people makes those people act better.  Faith works, but is unreliable.