When our loved ones pass away: We need to think that our loved one is close by. We want to think that our loved one is still present. We’ve made up a place for our loved one to go to wait for us: Heaven. We’ll talk with our loved ones just to show, just to demonstrate that our loved one is still present, here on this Earth.

It’s what we need because of our broken hearts. It’s an understatement to say that we have a broken heart when we lose loved ones through death. It’s a kind of heartbreak that only those who have experienced will know.

That heartbreak transforms into desire. The desire is a need. The need then transforms to lying to self. These lies transfer, they become part of thinking and even actions. We have all of the rituals around death that truly help us through the journey. When we take that next step, when we make believe that our truly beloved is still somewhere (like heaven), we lie to ourselves and to the world.

We go to the cemetery, or we talk to our funeral urn as if it is a living thing. We miss those we love so much that we pretend they are near. They are not nearby. Not only are they not near, but they do not exist anymore in any way.

Christian religion gives to all *this pretend life* that assuages the heart. As noted before, one reason the religions have been so successful is that they offer such comforts to us. We have socialization, we have a north star that we are reminded of weekly. We have comfort in times of grief, and we have a source that gives us a basis for our own belief systems. All these things can be ours if we will but choose a religion and practice it.