The concept that I need to write about is “everything happens for a reason” and what it turns into for people. I just watched a TikTok where a woman discussed how her landlord treated her badly and caused her a lot of distress. Out of that she talked about how she grew as a human and that challenges happen to make you better, blah, blah, blah.
No! Just like Christians, people who believe in fate are excusing bad people doing bad things. That entire TikTok should have been about how she confronted the landlord and let him know that he behaved quite badly and that he should NOT treat people like that! Why do we keep excusing bad behavior and then later attributing miracles and personal growth to others bad treatment of us?
Look, I am not denying that fate will bring us growth. Even Eckhart Tolle has commented on the fact that humans who face the greatest challenges are often those that are the most enlightened. What I am saying is quit attributing your growth to the person who caused you pain! I don’t care how much you have grown as a human being, the person who did bad things to you needs to know that they have done bad things and you need to discuss it with them.
Depending on what they have done to you, they might need punishment, such as in the cases of fraud and violence. There is this grey area out there where something that is NOT illegal turns out to be okay, no, no, it doesn’t.
If someone lied to you to get you to do something, such as rent their property, then they should be confronted. They should never be given a pass just because your hardship turned out to be good for you.
This borderline behavior (not illegal, but awful) is becoming normal. Lying is becoming okay, stealing even better. Look at Trump’s many bankruptcies and think about all the economic ruin that he inflicted on others, ruined their lives, just so that he could build hotels. He thinks he is a winner because he got “over-on” all those contractors. Those contractors are people with lives and families that depend on their work. They never got paid. Think on that.
Let’s stop giving people a pass when they behave badly towards us. Let’s go ahead and tell the world about that bad behavior. Go ahead and press charges if it is at all possible. Go ahead and give some verbal feedback. Sometimes that communication can lead to something good and if it doesn’t that’s fine too.
Living in the moment requires us to acknowledge the truth of this moment, not some hoped for future, and not some vague personal growth.