May 2011 – Life According to Johanna

The roads we travel are infinite possibilities that take us into sometimes surprising and pleasant places. Jaxsun is my grandson and next week he will be 2 years old. I am watching he and his father in the backyard swimming pool and I am marveling at the word relationship. Jaxsun clearly and completely trusts his father to keep him safe. This trust allows Jaxsun to be daring and brave. Jaxsun’s father is completely content with his child. He is both fascinated and engaged with everything that Jaxsun does. There is an intense kind of beauty and love that seems to balloon around them like a sun dappled sphere. Jaxsun’s father ducks under the water and Jaxsun puts his hands on him to pull him up and then they talk in a strange kind of baby-speak about blowing bubbles and accomplishing things.

Whatever road brings us here, whatever it is that makes me privileged enough to get to watch unadulterated love in its process, whatever the reasons why: It doesn’t matter. This moment is enough all by itself.

Loyalty is kind of like commitment in terms of its definition. Here is why, you can’t define loyalty unless and until you really need it. If you are in a relationship which currently requires no challenge, for example, a relatively new relationship between a supervisor and subordinate, or even a new love relationship, you have no need for loyalty. You have the thrill of newness, you have the fun and excitement of learning about each other and there are very few challenges to a new relationship. Loyalty does not come up as a subject of conversation because you don’t have to try hard to be in a pleasant new relationship.

I need loyalty when I am weak. If I am strong and powerful, I do not need loyalty, because in that position I need no help. I only need loyalty when the world is awry and I need assistance to get by. When I am strong and powerful I do not need your help, loyalty will not benefit me as it is UN-necessary.

Here is the truth about loyalty (and commitment) the only time it is necessary is when times are really tough and it is difficult to give it. Like Judas to Jesus, when challenged, Judas backed down. When it’s easy – loyalty abounds, when it is not, loyalty is scarce. That is why I say that loyalty is not a fair weather concept, you only use it when it is raining. That is also why, it is rare, because strong people will use loyalty and the weak will back down…

Jaxsun and his Father

Loyalty: Not a “Fair Weather” Concept