• Baby Boomers,  It is What it is...,  Personal Growth,  Psychology of Life,  Self Responsibility

    How to quit spending money on clothes you don’t need and probably don’t want: Ignore your Aspirational Self

    March 26, 2025

    As a member of some wardrobe and consumerism threads on Reddit, I have begun to see this term often: my aspirational self. It took a long time for the idea to sink into my psyche.

    An aspirational self is someone I’d like to be, I’m not quite there yet. The truth, I may not ever be that self. In some cases, it’s ridiculous to think that I’ll ever be my aspirational self.

    It’s a concept that I have discussed with hubby before. Not realizing what it was. Most of my clothes are from LLBean, which is a clothing store dedicated to the outside. Their tag line is “be an outsider”. They often print “bring the outside in” on their materials. Hubby wants to know why I shop there. I am not able to spend much time outside. I’m in my 60s and I’m disabled. Me spending time outside is aspirational thinking. I am not a rugged individual who will go on a hike.

    Photo by Charlota Blunarova on Unsplash

    This spring I am going through lots of things in my house, it’s a spring cleaning.

    I keep running across my aspirational self. These items have never been worn or never been used (it’s not the LLBean clothes, I do use them).

    When I make the purchase, I really believe in it, I’m thrilled to receive it, but then it doesn’t turn out. Part of the reason is the vast experimentation that online shopping is, but most of the time the reason is that aspirational self who wants to be someone that I am not.

    I’ve left behind many identities in my life and for some reason, I can’t seem to pick up and define a new one. One of the reasons I find it so difficult is what is left for me? I have been a successful manager, I was a therapist for many years, I was a director of finance. As a young woman I was attractive and received a lot of attention because I was beautiful. I dressed up often and turned heads when I did.

    Always I see myself as lithe and put together. I reasoned that because I cared about my appearance that I was managing my identity well. Successful and attractive businesswoman.

    I want to continue receiving the respect and the care that I was given when I was in my business persona. I want to be glamorous and well done.

    But why? That’s all done now and I can’t seem to get over it.

    Who am I now? Crazy old lady? Gramma with an attitude? Fun and casual blog writer? I’m not even lithe anymore and really haven’t been for a long time. I worked hard to get through the disability part. But, here I am not wanting to put away the aspirational me!

    The clothes, the purses, even the jewelry, for what? I’m not going anywhere. I’m not finished with life, but the young, attractive dressed up me is gone. I’ve accomplished much and now it’s time to enjoy. But I still can’t let the beautiful clothes and all of the accoutrements that go along with them, I can’t let them go. I love scarves and dangling earrings and handbags and pretty dresses. Of course I also like t-shirts and shorts, slacks and sweaters. But it’s the pretty stuff that’s fun and gratifying.

    Like learning and accepting my disability, I must learn and accept my current status and life circumstances. I’ve always prided myself on authenticity and here I am trying to be something else, something that I am not.

    Here is the deal, I have to quit buying things that fit into the category of what I wish to be. I’m not professional, I’m not working. I’m not lithe. I can’t go on a hike. I don’t have an occasion for a cocktail party. The cocktail get-togethers that I go to, I wear a t-shirt, shorts and sandals. No one wears cocktail rings at these get-togethers. We all go casual.

    I’ve been spending too much money on some things and someone who doesn’t exist. I’ve got to stop now.

    Read More
  • Baby Boomers,  Capitalism,  Congress,  Economic Equality (A Goal),  Psychology of Life,  Speaking as a Parent,  World Affairs

    Young Person, Why do you Dismiss the Old?

    February 12, 2025

    I don’t understand how you think, when you think that I don’t understand the current life of the world?

    You’ve dismissed me based on what?

    I personally saw all of the things that have created the life that we have in America right now.

    I stood completely still (and I was only four) when the announcement came on TV that President Kennedy had been assassinated. Everyone that was alive at that moment in time knew that life in America had changed, and everyone cried about it.

    History in Hand 1142891 Unsplash

    I glared angrily at the tv while Nixon denied his contribution to Watergate. Even though I was still a kid at home, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was lying, and I have no idea how I knew.

    As a teenager, I wandered across the country with my toddler sons. We were able to visit and live in different climates and different thinking styles. I wanted to go to college, I have no idea where that desire came from, but it’s what I wanted. We moved to California in 1977 because junior college was free. I worked two jobs and it still wasn’t enough. I was a teenager and there was no way that I was going to be able to support myself and my sons on my own. Economic reality, that is all. I could give you all the details, like finding care for the boys while working eighty hours a week, but it doesn’t matter. Everyone understands how real this fact is, even today. A teenage mother cannot support herself and children on her own, no matter how hard she tries.

    Marriage and a business was next in my life. The business taught me so much about everything that you can count. I was an accountant back in the days of pencils. I went to a bookkeeping class (back in ’74) which helped me so much during this next life chapter. I had to know how to manage money because that’s not what my husband (and business partner) knew how to do.

    History Lesson Over

    My children, my grandchildren, why aren’t you taking advantage of this wealth of information? I can do taxes, upside down and standing on my head and yet you would never ask me a question about taxes. Why not?

    Unfortunately, the eighties and the nineties were all about being rich and so that is what my children absorbed. They loved all of being rich and never understood the costs of wealth or how it needed to be managed. There is a thinking today that is strictly capitalistic, and it says wealth at any cost.

    Nothing I could do or say could change any of that. My kids want to be rich. There is an attitude of blame leveled at me because I didn’t achieve wealth. How could I be middle class? Middle class was a crime.

    In spite of this, I wonder why my kids would think that I am clueless and that I don’t understand the politics of today. Why is that the thinking of the young? Old people are dumb? How could a smart person come to that conclusion? Because it’s the era, the culture of America today.

    Culture is King

    And that’s my next question, why do people fall for a pretty presentation hook, line and sinker without a thorough investigation? How come young people don’t know the difference between facts and fiction? Why are we looking at pretty pictures and not seeing the truth? And finally, why Trump?

    I can see that from a young person’s viewpoint, disruption is the goal. Who we elected into office have not helped the American people. In fact, it seems the senators and congresspeople have, instead, merely used their congressional seats to enrich themselves.

    They make the laws and based on their own legislation they can take money from a donor and then make a law specifically for that donor. A good example of this practice is pharmaceutical companies. Pharmaceutical companies rape people who need medication, and they allow poor people to die because of poverty. That’s because congress has made laws protecting pharmaceutical companies, protecting their ability to make money.

    From a young person’s perspective, we have failed. As adults we have created a world that is terribly wrong. The problem is that young people do not know what the problem is. They and their mentor Trump, are like bulls in a China shop, disrupting everything that is in front of them. We know what is wrong! But no one is listening.

    We are here trying to talk with young people about what is wrong. But no one is listening.

    We have proof that Trump is only enriching himself and NOT helping Americans. But no one is listening.

    Three Americans own more wealth than the bottom fifty percent of American people. No one is listening.

    I wish we could talk. But no one is listening.

    Read More
  • Human Evolution,  Personal Growth,  Psychology of Life,  Self Responsibility,  Wise Words

    Human Evolution: Self Responsibility

    February 9, 2025

    Even as I stood there glaring at him through my tear-filled eyes, for one single moment thinking “I hate you more than I can say”, I knew that he was right.

    When you receive the truth from a dumbass, it doesn’t mean that the truth isn’t true. And that’s what I was facing at this moment. This is true and it hurts.

    What he said was “you need to look inside to find out why this happened, your experience sources from you”.

    By the time we were having this discussion I had been practicing this discipline for about ten years. I wanted to be responsible for myself and moreover responsible for my own feelings. Self-Responsibility is a discipline and for me, one that I had to fight for and train for. I felt strongly about teaching my children to own their circumstances and their own lives, no matter how difficult it could be. In order to do this, I had to learn and apply this discipline without failure.

    But I didn’t want to hear it from this man, my husband, who had never practiced any type of self-responsibility in his life. We were in a Lifespring training, working on our own human evolution and it wasn’t my business whether he was learning or not. The only thing that was my business was my own learning. And vice versa.

    Colorado — JB Collection

    The sad fact of the matter is that, in that ten-year interim, I hadn’t met anyone who understood the concepts surrounding responsibility for self. People just don’t believe that way. I was back in this training room because if you live for ten years believing in concepts that no one else believes, you can start to question those concepts. And I certainly did. I thought maybe there was some mistake. Aren’t there situations where it was someone else’s fault? So here I was in this training room working on my own human evolution, but this time with a husband, who didn’t understand me at all.

    My husband was very good at getting people to believe that he understood how to hold himself accountable to his commitments. In reality, not only did he break his commitments, but he didn’t take any responsibility for what he did. From what I remember about us; it was all my fault.

    The definition of self-responsibility is accepting your role in your situation and in your thoughts and feelings. It is your decisions that made your life what it is today. It is not an opportunity for self-blame and other-blame. It is merely an understanding of the reality of our lives. It is an opportunity to look within to see hidden motivations and irrational beliefs that explain decisions. Or even merely to reinforce the state of your mental health. There is no time in our lives when we are not responsible for ourselves.

    “Self-aware: conscious of the moment and your surroundings, the purpose of getting away from ego is to be self-aware.” “Self-awareness and self-responsibility go hand in hand.” (BHB)

    “I can’t get a job because I have to wait for paperwork that will help me.”

    Self-aware is “I don’t want a job.”

    “I can’t move because it will upset my family.”

    Self-aware is “I don’t want to move.”

    It’s been 45 years since my first personal growth training. It’s been that long since I became responsible for myself. I don’t doubt it anymore. Just last week my granddaughter called me about her tax return, and she couldn’t understand why someone else had not fixed her problem for her. We are going to have a talk soon. The only item that’s really important for us to talk about is this concept of who is responsible for her taxes and why is she letting overwhelm crush her ability to manage her life?

    Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

    I don’t blame her. Overwhelm was always my mistake. When you know that no one is going to fix things for you, your approach to life changes. You really do need to stop and figure out how to manage the issues. If you don’t, then the issues begin to manage you.

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  • Love and Relationships,  Mother,  Psychology of Life,  Speaking as a Parent

    Perception: Events Become Beliefs

    January 7, 2025

    A young and confused man who needs help with his injury is turned away from the emergency department after he is stabilized with no follow up care, because he has no insurance or money. He has a broken arm and cannot work for weeks, his injury heals incorrectly, causing a disability. This young man may feel and believe that people are hostile and do not care for others.

    Contrast this with a wealthy and beautiful socialite who gets sick. Her environment will give her a social response of great care. The staff and her family will get medicine and soup for her and prod her to rest. This woman believes that people are good. Both thinkers are correct and yet both are incorrect. They are incorrect because they turn these events into belief structures.

    People have perceptions based on where they are: struggling student vs successful businessman, stock market failure or middle-aged business woman, and who they are: married, widowed, woman, old man, gay, young girl.

    The Construct of Belief Systems

    Those perceptions are guideposts to belief systems and they are structured on those perceptions. Belief systems are the bedrock of our lives. They allow us to proceed with ease by helping us to not question each activity that we engage in with others. Illusions and biases are the construct for ensuring that the belief system persists throughout life.

    For example, believing that you are a good person will make you act like you are good and it will also make you go to extreme measures to show how good you are. Guilt will be formed when this belief is faced with a reality that doesn’t match with these beliefs. This will create cognitive dissonance. In fact, the person stole cash from a friend and yet wants to believe in their own goodness. This person will have guilt. (Providing that the person has a conscience and is capable of feeling guilt.) Then they may deny the theft, or they may justify the theft by stating (to self) that the friend could afford the theft. Much has been written about denial.

    If you are a human being, it will benefit you to understand the brain’s demand for structuring an actual foundation for beliefs. This demand for a belief structure can lead you to reinforce your beliefs in spite of counter evidence. Your bias can actually “bend reality” so that what has occurred in front of you, becomes your perception and not reality. We want our world to fit our pre-conceptions of reality.

    How Perceptions Shape How We Treat Others

    Perceptions and beliefs are how we treat ourselves as well as how we treat others. Perhaps the most painful part of perception as reality is dismissing the aging population in America. If you are over sixty you have experienced a younger person dismissing your knowledge, wisdom and abilities. If you are in the workforce, you have been supervised by someone who is younger than you – and that someone, inevitably has a negative opinion of anyone over 60. It’s a fact of life in America.

    We paint the world with our perceptions. Our own experience becomes the way of the world. I have spoken with many who believe that their own experience defines the universe. I spoke with a woman about medical EHRs (electronic health records) and she was absolutely convinced that there was a national record system. It turned out that she had a physician who worked at a large practice where the doctors shared records. In other words, her personal experience dictated her beliefs, and she wasn’t open to the fact that others have different experiences. She had great difficulty grasping the fact that others had a different experience than her own. “Others” either don’t understand, or they have done something wrong.

    This young woman often told me that because I am her mom, and “I had to” tell her that she was pretty, beautiful and amazing. I was right (of course), but, I was doubted, because I am a mom. Because moms are obligated to compliment their children, you shouldn’t believe a mom who is complimenting you.

    When our beliefs align with Reality…

    The truth is we know about the role that perception plays in life and in society. One of the reasons we love people like Professor Galloway (smart, genuine and generous) and Bonnie Raitt (talented, caring, brilliant musician) is because they really are what we perceive about them. Our perceptions did not make a mistake about these two human beings. They are what the presentation implies. This alignment gives our brain a rest. No energy has to be invested in making things right between our belief and the presentation. No cognitive dissonance occurs.

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  • Capitalism,  Insurance,  Murder,  Poverty,  Psychology of Life,  United Health Care

    Insurance Company Murders with Impunity

    December 13, 2024

    Who do you blame for all of the deaths caused by insurance denials? Some estimates are that thousands of humans die as a result of insurance coverage denial.

    Who do we make responsible for death caused by insurance company denial? There is a perpetrator and there is a victim.

    Our insurance-lack death rate is well documented.

    Epidemiologists have long discussed the relationship between healthcare and death.

    It’s dire, those without care can die from conditions that are easily treatable. Remember the young people who died because insulin was too expensive for them to purchase?

    JB Collection

    Remember when governor’s rejected Medicaid extension? Rick Scott told Floridians they didn’t need it. How would Rick Scot know? Rick Scott has never lived without the best healthcare available in America. He can afford it.

    The healthcare discussion in public health became the number of deaths caused, in each state, where the Medicaid extension was denied. In Florida it was estimated that Rick Scott and the Republican state senators were responsible for 22,000 deaths because of the rejection of the Medicaid expansion.

    Who really gets to be responsible for these deaths?

    In America, when we shoot a man or shoot a woman we can count on going to jail. Why is this death more lethal than insurance malfeasance? It isn’t, insurance malfeasance kills tens of thousands of human beings. Those who deny insurance coverage are the murderers.

    Now that we have witnessed the murder of the United HealthCare executive, all of the frustrated patients are expressing some of that frustration publicly. This morning, on TV, I witnessed the arrest of a Woman who said on a phone call, a frustrating phone call, to Blue Cross / Blue Shield “delay, deny, depose, you’re next”. Now the legal system is telling all of the humans who are suffering and even dying because of the insurance companies that they are wrong to express their frustration. The legal system has stepped in to protect the capitalists.

    The situation in this country is health care for profit. If you, as a patient, don’t offer the health insurance company a profit, you will be denied, and you may die.

    If you do express your frustration and pain you will be arrested for a ridiculous charge and your bail will be set at $100,000 dollars which, of course, you can hardly afford. You can’t afford bail because you have spent all of your family’s money on health care. But the system is protecting the capitalistic health insurance company that is causing your family pain.

    Photo by Fred Moon on Unsplash

    United Health Care operating under the guise of capitalism and on behalf of shareholders is allowed to kill Americans. Now that the worst has occurred and the UHC CEO has been murdered, they will be using public tax dollars to enforce their reality onto the rest of us. They want to operate with impunity and now our own police officers will be threatening anyone who disagrees with our great capitalistic machine. Don’t dare express your anguish with the insurance company because you will be arrested.

    We are angry. The health insurance industry is killing us. No one is listening.

    Health Insurance

    United Healthcare Ceo

    Poverty

    Civil Unrest

    Murder

    Read More
  • Economy of Effort,  Personal Growth,  Psychology of Life,  Science,  Wise Words

    Personal Bias is a Universal Human Trait

    November 4, 2024

    I was having a conversation with one of my staff who mentioned that one of our nurses didn’t approve of a decision that I made. I mentioned that I did not think that she liked me as she expressed constant disapproval of me. He answered that he didn’t think it had anything to do with “liking” me. He as a staff counselor wasn’t aware of personal bias. He didn’t understand that when people have a point of view (like personal dislike) the perception is only negative. You automatically discount any positive and then over emphasize any negative, sometimes reinterpreting an action to give credence to your point of view. Obviously his preference was to validate her point of view, which told me a lot about him.

    What astounded (and appalled) me in this conversation was that I had a staff counselor who wasn’t aware of personal bias. How did this happen? Anyone who has studied psychology has studied this concept of personal bias and personal belief systems.

    How Science Manages Personal Bias

    Personal bias is the reason that statistics exist. It is the science by which we create an objective reality which does not depend on the opinions of you or me.

    Drug manufacturing companies would love it if we purchased expensive medications based simply on the opinion of their marketing manager. Thank goodness that we have laws against this practice.  Thank goodness that we have science that will tell us if medications actually work for humans and not just to appease a marketing manager who is stuck on making profits.

    Statistics is the idea, the concept, that an objective truth does exist and that there is a way to find it. It involves choosing only randomly from the studied population ensuring that research cannot be biased based on the researcher or research participants. It also involves using big numbers of research subjects in order to prove applicability to all human subjects.

    How do you Know that you are Biased?

    My daughter once asked me why research can’t be just randomly asking friends your questions. It’s hard to explain, but your friends are likely people who think a lot like you do. That’s called bias. Your questioning is likely to influence the way that your friends answer the questions, that’s called bias. On and on.

    "Don't Believe everything you Think" published by Lee Good, FibroConnect

    Anything observed changes because of the observation. This is a well-known concept in science, in physics it’s called “the Observer Effect” In psychology it’s called the “Hawthorne effect”. Both cause a bias in research, however, because they are known they can be regulated.

    Where does Personal Bias come from?

    Back to the original concepts and they are this. Humans operate their lives based on their belief structures that reflect their experiences with life and even their parents experience with life. These belief structures are survival mechanisms that help people to cope and even provide a social structure to live within. Think “country boy” and then “sophisticated lady” and your mind will conjure a lot of beliefs surrounding these concepts. Country boy conjures a picture of blue jeans and cowboy hats. You may see cowboy boots and hear country music. Sophisticated lady will bring a whole different set of pictures. These are reflections of the belief structures that we all carry within.

    It’s incredibly important to know these things about yourself. It is our beliefs that we build our lives upon. If we wish to change anything, managing conflicting beliefs is necessary. If you aren’t aware of personal beliefs, there is no chance that you can change them. It therefore follows that there is rarely change available to those who do not even know that beliefs exist.

    It is our Beliefs that Cause Bias

    Beliefs make you see only facts that agree with your beliefs and your brain will discard any evidence that does not agree with those beliefs. Most people swear that they know what they are talking about. Most people will swear that their truth is the truth; a universal truth that the whole world can live by. If you ask them about their personal belief structure they could not separate the concepts into an individual belief system that they own.

    Brightly colored flowers: orange, fuchsia, yellow with green flowers. It brings light to a heavy subject.

    Your social group is a powerful survival mechanism and it’s important not to differentiate yourself from others. That’s how community belief structures work. You need your group to stay alive. These beliefs serve you and your group by allowing you to keep peace and give a sameness to daily life. Without this sameness life could be more difficult than it is possible to manage.

    The key is to be able to recognize your belief structure and how those beliefs affect your personal bias. If you don’t recognize your own beliefs, then you don’t have the awareness that you need to keep your life on track with your goals.

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  • Politics,  Psychology of Life,  Wise Words,  World Affairs

    Biden Admit the Mistake

    October 17, 2024

    You can’t trust Netanyahu. You have been fooled by the repeat of a story that is from last year. The horrible rape and killing of the Israelis on October 7th cannot be ignored. And yet, Biden you can’t kill 30,000 civilians by giving Netanyahu, ne’ Hitler, American weapons.

    Netanyahu is the new Hitler, doing all of the things that we don’t forgive Hitler for. 1. Killing people because of their origins: check, 2. Killing people because of their race: check, 3. Mass murdering women, children and the elderly, check.

    On the basis of evidence collected and examined by my Office (International Criminal Court), I have reasonable grounds to believe that Benjamin NETANYAHU, the Prime Minister of Israel, and Yoav GALLANT, the Minister of Defence of Israel, bear criminal responsibility for the following war crimes and crimes against humanity committed on the territory of the State of Palestine (in the Gaza strip) from at least 8 October 2023:

    Starvation of civilians as a method of warfare as a war crime contrary to article 8(2)(b)(xxv) of the Statute;
    Wilfully causing great suffering, or serious injury to body or health contrary to article 8(2)(a)(iii), or cruel treatment as a war crime contrary to article 8(2)©(i);
    Wilful killing contrary to article 8(2)(a)(i), or Murder as a war crime contrary to article 8(2)©(i);
    Intentionally directing attacks against a civilian population as a war crime contrary to articles 8(2)(b)(i), or 8(2)(e)(i);
    Extermination and/or murder contrary to articles 7(1)(b) and 7(1)(a), including in the context of deaths caused by starvation, as a crime against humanity;
    Persecution as a crime against humanity contrary to article 7(1)(h);
    Other inhumane acts as crimes against humanity contrary to article 7(1)(k).
    Netanyahu continues to travel, to include to the United States with impunity. And the U.S. knows that he has committed war crimes.

    Per Robert Reich August 19th, 2024
    The one large blot on Biden’s record is Benjamin Netanyahu. Biden should have been tougher on him — refusing to provide him offensive weapons unless Netanyahu stopped his massacre in Gaza. Yes, I know: Hamas began the bloodbath. But that is no excuse for Netanyahu’s disproportionate response, which has made Israel a pariah and endangered its future. Nor an excuse for our complicity.

    April 16, 2024

    Heather Cox Richardson
    Apr 17

    Since Hamas attacked Israel on October 7, 2023, killing 1,200 people and kidnapping more than 250 others, President Joe Biden’s apparent top priority has been making sure the crisis doesn’t spread. On October 10, he warned: “to any country, any organization, anyone thinking of taking advantage of this situation, I have one word: Don’t. Don’t.”

    Since the early days of the conflict, the approach of Israel’s government under Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to destroying Hamas has caused a deepening rift with the Biden administration. While the U.S. supports Israel’s right to self-defense and “legitimate military objectives,” it has repeatedly called out mounting Palestinian civilian casualties. Then, while the administration has consistently called for the establishment of a Palestinian state, the plan for a postwar settlement Netanyahu finally proposed in February rejected that policy and instead called for Israel to maintain military control of Gaza indefinitely.

    Why are We Here?
    Here we are many months and billions of dollars later.

    The cost of this war to Americans is insane and could easily be redirected to assisting voters with childcare or housing or so many other domestic problems.

    Even though we are not in a war, we are once again, spending on a war.

    By USAFacts — How much aid does the US give to Israel? USAFacts. Updated on October 12, 2023., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=139208593

    Hello America, is this where we want to be?

    We must find a way to resolve our intervention into the Israel war on the Palestinian people. We are dealing with two ideologies neither of which is interested in the American Way.

    It is our error to give Netanyahu untethered access to the American weapons of war.

    He is the new Hitler and we pay (in dollars now and then later in consequences) for his murder of the Palestinian people.

    Notice that I don’t mention Hamas. I look only to the truth that lies before us in living color. While Hamas must be stopped, we cannot allow Netanyahu to continue his murderous rampage on people who have no aggression in the games of the Hamas war.

    Every day I hear Netanyahu’s excuses for continuing with the annihilation of the Palestinian people. After he murders 30,000 civilians including children, his war department states,” there was a spy in that building that we bombed!” Lest we forget who started the war, Netanyahu’s PR department spews with a lie, “the spy in the building was one of the October 7th murderers!”

    My husband keeps asking me, “if there was as spy there, why don’t they go get the spy, why do they have to kill everyone?”

    America, please help.

    We must stop the American war machine, it threatens the world with it’s unquenchable appetite for the lives of all people.

    War
    Biden
    Netanyahu
    War Machine
    Mass Murder

    Johanna Baynard
    Written by Johanna Baynard

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  • Congress,  Economic Equality (A Goal),  Justice, the Human Construct,  Politics,  Psychology of Life

    Immigration and You!

    September 19, 2024

    This is an important subject for this election cycle and for the life of me, I cannot figure out why. It’s a chimera, that is infecting how Americans think about “others”.

    I don’t want to minimize or dismiss any harm you may have experienced at the hands of an immigrant. This article is about the broader perspective in America.

    I am in my sixties and I have never met anyone who has had a life impact from an immigrant. I know that is meaningless in the broad view of America, but seriously, how is the average American being impacted by immigrants? The pundits and the candidates keep saying “They are taking your jobs!” And unemployment rates are low and have been very low for several years.

    In most places where cheap labor is necessary, that is where you will find Mexican and South American men and women immigrants. There are plenty of places where you will find children laboring on American soil also. Where do we need cheap labor in this country?

    On most construction crews.

    In every single restaurant in this country.

    In every single berry patch in this country.  

    Deondra’s Daughter

    On every single lawn maintenance crew in this country and:

    for every single housekeeping crew in this country.

    While this is not inclusive of immigration from all over the world, it does tell us where South American and Mexican immigrants are working.

    History Lessons

    Because I’ve been around the block a few times, I remember another group of people that were being demonized by politicians. It began in the 1960s and continued as an issue into the 1990s, there was a group called “welfare mamas”. The pundits claimed that they were draining the country of tax money, not only for their own families, but also because they cheated. “These women are claiming two families so that they can get double the benefits!” It was an awful time for black and Latino women, all of the financial frustration of this country was placed on their backs. The public was not afraid of blaming them for everything wrong in America. 

    This caricature was not a true representation of women on welfare and was debunked several times over. During the 1990s, the truth was found to be exactly the opposite. The reason for the incredible expense in health care  was systematic fraud, mostly by professional health care providers.

    I suspect that the same bad faith will ring true here. Immigration is a scape goat or slight of hand that makes  it easier for some other form of stealing and/or fraud propagated on the American people. It’s like preaching that women dress to lure men and the whole congregation is raping Suzy in the back room.

    I am not trying to minimize the effects of immigration on you. I’m just asking for you to fully review those effects and be honest about it.

    Here are the effects on me this week: I ate berries and carrots that were picked by Mexican and South American legal and illegal immigrants. The crew that maintains and mows the property I live in is all Mexican and South American.

    There is no excuse for ignoring factual information. There is no excuse for taking rumors and gossip and pretending they are factual.

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  • Baby Boomers,  Friends,  Love and Relationships,  Philosophy,  Psychology of Life

    Class Difference or a Sign of the Times

    July 7, 2024

    I spent most of my childhood in lower to middle class socioeconomic status, and later, most of my adulthood in middle to upper socioeconomic status.

    What I remember about my childhood was the soft voices of women in deep discussion about life and living. The thought that comes to mind most about my mother was this idea that others sought her counsel. That makes a lot of sense to me because mom was a very loving person. This is rural Louisiana in the 1960s.

    Briana Tozour with Unsplash

    We moved to Florida and shook off the church, my mother’s life was still one where most sought her counsel. I know that mama’s best friend (Linda) did nothing more than cross the field between our houses in tears and that is how they met. My mother immediately took her in much like you would a hurt and stray animal. They helped each other find jobs. They saved S&H Green stamps and went on spending sprees at the S&H Green stamp store. They absorbed more and more friends as time passed.

    As a young woman and mother, I had a group of friends that were wildly different from each other and yet they were crazy about each other. Always careful to listen to each other about kids, husbands and life. They did not look or act the same. I don’t know how we all got together, but there we were for lunch every month. A catholic woman married to a Mennonite, two Midwesterners looking for a warmer climate and a couple of wealthy young “about towners”. Professional women would come if work permitted. We wanted to be together, not to sell something, but to take comfort in each other.

    Chris Murray with Unsplash

    In my later adulthood, as I look at young people now, I have never seen this replicated. This sort of broad, arms wide open, everyone welcome, where we take counsel from each other. What I see now (always wishing to be wrong) is this sort of closed exclusivity. If you aren’t part of this little group, you aren’t welcome. There is a stress about perfection that stresses me out and I am only an observer.

    There is nothing more important to this group than to have and own the right things. The baby buggy has to be a Mercedes and they must all have an apple watch.

    Freestock on Unsplash

    These women have two or three friends and then they shut it down. The friend meter is closed. There is this ongoing competition that makes it difficult to even have a friendship. The competition is deep, and it’s whatever the flavor of the day is.

    For some groups it’s the look. Perfect long fingernails and toenails. Hair that has been styled within an inch of its life. Body perfect, if not then a perfectly awful gym routine that includes a personal fitness coach.

    For some groups the competition is the kids. Which one gets into university? Which one will go to the best university? Who can afford university and who will get a loan?

    The bottom line of all these groups is the exhibition of money. They use every situation as an opportunity to demonstrate how well off they are and how much better they are than each other and the world around them.

    If they get together at home, they are looking for a perfect performance, NOT friendship and fellowship. Have you heard the term Pinterest perfect? Everything is about how better they are than anyone else. Bottom line, (again) who has the most cash.

    This is also the group that admires Elon Musk. They look right past his Nazi tendencies to his bank account, and really for them, that’s all that is important.

    It has got to be hectic! How do folks manage at the tip of this razor blade of stress?

    I ask you, is this a sign of the times? Or is this a heightened socioeconomic status? Which is it?

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