I spent most of my childhood in lower to middle class socioeconomic status, and later, most of my adulthood in middle to upper socioeconomic status.
What I remember about my childhood was the soft voices of women in deep discussion about life and living. The thought that comes to mind most about my mother was this idea that others sought her counsel. That makes a lot of sense to me because mom was a very loving person. This is rural Louisiana in the 1960s.
We moved to Florida and shook off the church, my mother’s life was still one where most sought her counsel. I know that mama’s best friend (Linda) did nothing more than cross the field between our houses in tears and that is how they met. My mother immediately took her in much like you would a hurt and stray animal. They helped each other find jobs. They saved S&H Green stamps and went on spending sprees at the S&H Green stamp store. They absorbed more and more friends as time passed.
As a young woman and mother, I had a group of friends that were wildly different from each other and yet they were crazy about each other. Always careful to listen to each other about kids, husbands and life. They did not look or act the same. I don’t know how we all got together, but there we were for lunch every month. A catholic woman married to a Mennonite, two Midwesterners looking for a warmer climate and a couple of wealthy young “about towners”. Professional women would come if work permitted. We wanted to be together, not to sell something, but to take comfort in each other.
In my later adulthood, as I look at young people now, I have never seen this replicated. This sort of broad, arms wide open, everyone welcome, where we take counsel from each other. What I see now (always wishing to be wrong) is this sort of closed exclusivity. If you aren’t part of this little group, you aren’t welcome. There is a stress about perfection that stresses me out and I am only an observer.
There is nothing more important to this group than to have and own the right things. The baby buggy has to be a Mercedes and they must all have an apple watch.
These women have two or three friends and then they shut it down. The friend meter is closed. There is this ongoing competition that makes it difficult to even have a friendship. The competition is deep, and it’s whatever the flavor of the day is.
For some groups it’s the look. Perfect long fingernails and toenails. Hair that has been styled within an inch of its life. Body perfect, if not then a perfectly awful gym routine that includes a personal fitness coach.
For some groups the competition is the kids. Which one gets into university? Which one will go to the best university? Who can afford university and who will get a loan?
The bottom line of all these groups is the exhibition of money. They use every situation as an opportunity to demonstrate how well off they are and how much better they are than each other and the world around them.
If they get together at home, they are looking for a perfect performance, NOT friendship and fellowship. Have you heard the term Pinterest perfect? Everything is about how better they are than anyone else. Bottom line, (again) who has the most cash.
This is also the group that admires Elon Musk. They look right past his Nazi tendencies to his bank account, and really for them, that’s all that is important.
It has got to be hectic! How do folks manage at the tip of this razor blade of stress?
I ask you, is this a sign of the times? Or is this a heightened socioeconomic status? Which is it?