• Justice, the Human Construct,  Personal Growth,  Politics,  Psychology of Life,  World Affairs

    Self-Deception is all the Rage in the United States

    I’m not surprised that Trump and his ilk are having a heyday. You know that humans want to believe what they need to believe to make their own lives okay and even tolerable.

    What makes Country & Western so popular is the notion that blue color workers, though disenfranchised, are the backbone of America. They work hard, fulfill their promises, and love their dogs. These notions have shaped the American blue-color worker for generations. Along with these beliefs are those that shape the American woman, a woman who “stands by her man”, bears children and cares for everything related to the home. The Christians stand at the ready to provide a wealth of identifying beliefs in order to keep this picture in place.

    The same dynamic occurred with Blues Music. A rebellious strength became the clarion call for the southern African American. These identities were also propagandized by the Christians. Jesus Christ is seen as the first rebel against such injustice. Again, women are called to Christianity and the feminine ideology for “a good woman”.

    Why its Not Working

    The problem with these identity structures (as with any identity structures) is that they require a set of belief systems that are unreal for our current world. In my private conversations and in many public conversations I see over and over again that factual information MUST be ignored in order to verify pre-existing beliefs. Any new science that occurs in the world must be disproven or ignored, otherwise the picture-perfect belief fails. This can be disastrous for how people view themselves.

    I am Not a Forgetful Old Man

    An example of self-correcting belief systems is from my book club. My friend “Ethel’s” husband becomes angry with her when she tells him that he has forgotten something, either an appointment or a screwdriver, it doesn’t matter the subject matter. According to her, his real reason for being angry is that he is in his seventies and he is afraid of dementia. He sees himself as a strong resilient human being and doesn’t want to believe that he is growing old. He “corrects” by blaming Ethel for his forgetfulness; thus, he is relieved of reality and can go on thinking that he is NOT a forgetful old man.

    People do these kinds of personal affirmations in their lives on the daily. Our culture encourages it, just look at your Facebook feed for examples. It seems these cultural challenges are infecting every part of the American life on the daily.

    JB Collection

    So out of this American righteousness rises Ron DeSantis, current governor of Florida. He gets a lot of face time with Fox News. America has been challenged with the truth of its history and its current extremes of inequality. Americans falter with what they see as a challenge to the identity of America. America, the free nation (as long as you are wealthy), America, the righteous nation (as long as you are a practicing Christian) and now America the woke nation (whoops-not so fast). Ron DeSantis wants to reassure you that wokeness does not exist and it’s okay to ignore the reality that is today.

    We are good people, AND we did wrong things…

    Do we have to admit that slavery is wrong? Do we have to admit to perpetrating cruelty onto an entire race of people? Do we? DeSantis says that we do not have to admit to anything.

    Ron DeSantis’ general counsel defined Woke as: “A view that there are systemic injustices in American society and the need to have policies that address [them].”

    Wikipedia is more specific in its definition: Woke (/ˈwoʊk/ WOHK) is an adjective derived from African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) meaning “alert to racial prejudice and discrimination“.

     We, who are Americans, are struggling against the concept that we have done something wrong. This is why birth control is a struggle, we don’t want to admit that our earlier concepts about our world are wrong for today. And that’s what Woke means. We may have needed the old beliefs, but the time is now and we are not then.

  • Baby Boomers,  It is What it is...,  Psychology of Life,  Womens Issues

    Hating Myself and it’s Stupid

    Stop hating on yourself! Ugh. So much of my life was about being beautiful, being attractive, being pretty. It is hard to believe that I am not now that…

    I was never able to explain to my husband that it was okay to not be “hot”, because God knows I was tired of being hot.

    Being Attractive can be it’s Own Hell

    I was constantly harassed, called, followed, received lewd comments and always the proposition. Are you kidding me? It was always an issue. I’ve even had my share of stalkers, yes.

    I wanted it all out of my life. Do I really have to listen to people drone on and on about how they are hung up on me?

    No.

    I don’t. Really I don’t.

    So here I am hating myself because I have gained 30 pounds which makes me less than attractive. It’s what I wanted. I wanted people to stop hitting on me and pushing me to have sex with “them”.

    “Long Ago Woman” JB Collection

    I’ve gotten old, of course, now 64. That (and being married) helps to stop people pressing me for “more” out of the relationship. The most effective “stop” sign is my weight. Adding 30 pounds has turned off any chance of having admirers. Even hubby isn’t sure (of course, he loves me).

    I caught myself hating myself. I was looking at my thighs and I was hating on my own body. What is that about? I’ve actually relaxed and I am enjoying life. Why am I hating on my own body? That is ridiculous. I love myself and should be loving my body!

    There is this complicated relationship between my body and I. I’m hating on the fat that I have; at the same time that I am saying that the “skinny body” sexiness is bull and is an awful misrepresentation of women. Real women don’t look like models, although lots of them try very hard to mimic the look.

    I need to find a way to be okay with my body. I need to find a way to embrace the me that is and let go of that long ago woman who could conquer a room by walking into it.

    This is me, UGH.