Being ignored is being dismissed and it’s meanness personified.
Have you been in situations where you are consistently ignored? You can be sure that those who are ignoring you have dismissed you. You have no importance to those who ignore you. They can’t be bothered with what you need. They actually cannot be bothered with you at all.
Make no mistake, those who ignore, also dismiss. Dismissing makes you less than human in the eyes of those who ignore you. This also makes it easier to ignore you. If you have no value, you can be pushed aside.
How is this interaction created? At what point do we allow ourselves to dismiss other humans?
- Many people actually do believe that they are superior to other humans and so we don’t have to explain for those. We know why the “superiors” ignore human beings. They are often people who don’t recognize their own bad behavior.
- For those who love and support others, why would they ignore other humans? Talking with others, I am told that often, people don’t have time for everything that they need to get done. Thus, they run through their days only focused on what they must. No one gets a pass for this busy person. They can only focus on the things on the list.
- Others; simply do not have the energy to give another. You will find them ignoring others as a matter of survival.
Responding is important.
It’s the first group that deserve disdain. Ironically, this is exactly their treatment of others and should be our treatment of all those who believe they are “better” than others. “Superiors” only concern themselves with self. They could care less what feelings they are causing the ignored person. They usually have no reason to believe they are superior – and believe it anyway.
Our minds love to be righteous, when we have a belief about superiority, we will find ways to confirm our belief. I’ve heard the arguments: “She’s ugly, he is clumsy, look how stupid they are!” On and on the arguments roll and they include no self reflection. They are simply expressions of the baser parts of the human brain.
If you are being ignored and dismissed, you can make some choices. You may know the person who is ignoring you, if you do, you may know if 1, 2 or 3 is the source of the ignoring. It helps to know, and it does make a difference to how you respond.
To respond to #1 which is the most insidious of moods of Americans, is to be aware that you are with an extremely rude person. Treat them so. You don’t have to do anything, in fact, perhaps you can ignore them back.
To respond to #2, you can be respectful with your interruption. This person is struggling.
To respond to #3, don’t.
It really is awful to be ignored. Dismissing is a way of telling some one “you don’t matter to me”. Don’t be this person.
