Defensiveness Rarely Works Out

If I am defensive, I am unable to hear you.  Your feedback may be important, but it may not be important.  If I do not hear you, then I will never know.  However, chances are, if I listen to feedback I will find some important information.  That information may tell me how people perceive me.  If there is something that I do not like about the perception about me I may be able to work a way that influences perception of me positively.

Notice that I do not say that I will change myself because of another person’s perception.  Instead I say that if the feedback is valuable, if I wish for the other person to perceive me more positively, then I seek to influence their perception in a positive manner.  I do not change myself, nor do I believe feedback is always good, or even indicative of a person’s perceptive ability.  Often, people believe that they can perceive things that they cannot.  They tell themselves that they are wise and really they are a quagmire of their own ego.

Defensiveness stops any message in, and you must be open in order to hear the universe.