You live your life based on your beliefs and although you create your beliefs you may not know them. It is for this reason that you end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again. It is for this reason that you must recognize your beliefs so that you can work with them, or get rid of them.
- How do you recognize your beliefs?
- How do you know that you even have beliefs that you are not aware of?
- Do you keep on making the same old mistakes over and over again?
- Do you repeat relationship mistakes?
- Do you keep having the same relationship but with a different person?
Beliefs are reflected in actions (failed relationships) and in thinking (“it’s hard to find love”). It is in the thinking and in the actions that you can recognize your beliefs. Another way to recognize your belief systems is to review your spending. What are you spending money on? If a good amount of money is being spent on your home, you have a belief that your home is a priority in your life.
It is in the thinking that you can make real changes. It is in the action that you can make things different.
Do you feel that you are worthy? Does your life reflect your worthiness? Look around you, are you feeling valued and validated? If you are not, it could be your thinking, or it could be your actions, but for sure it is your own beliefs. You may have a job that pays well, yet you don’t feel valued there.
You may not believe that you are valuable. That belief has led you to thinking in a way that invalidates you. When you receive a compliment you say “that was luck” or perhaps you say to yourself “that Bill is always trying to butter me up”. So, you take a simple compliment that can validate you and you turn it into something negative so that you can prove your belief that you are not valuable. Just like that, you have kept yourself down with your thoughts.
Truly, if you do not want to hear something, you will not hear it. It is as if you are deaf. This is your subconscious refusing to change. Words that you cannot “believe” will not be heard. Again, this is you desperately hanging onto a belief that is no longer real, no longer true. You may not even be aware that you are doing this.
As a young person, did you suffer betrayal? Did others abuse your trust? Perhaps you formulated a belief that people cannot be trusted. You will always seek ways to reinforce this belief until you recognize your belief and commit to experiencing your life in the new instead of in the past. All beliefs are made of the past. This does not mean that beliefs are bad, it simply means that your life is better if you recognize them and make peace with them.
Beliefs and thinking …. (I am worthless) Neutral event occurs(neighbor gets a promotion)….emotions occur (discouragement)….thinking that reinforces beliefs (I am worthless) and thinking closes the loop.
New events get routed through the same old belief systems that were in place before the new event occurred.
An example of this might be a young person who loses some money. Because of their own beliefs about their own self worth, the internal dialogue might be “I’m worthless, I can’t hang onto anything, I’ll never have spending money.” Instead, as a neutral event, the response might be “I’ll have to retrace my steps and find that money, I think I’ll call the restaurant where I ate.”
The first person started out with a negative belief about self and used the neutral event of losing money as a means of reinforcing the negative beliefs the person already had about him/herself. The second person took a neutral event and went straight to taking action about it.
In order to stay out of the same old treadmill, being open to what is actually occurring in the present moment is a must. This requires a neutral position rather than a judgmental position. This is a difficult task. Putting the past in the past is a major accomplishment.
