A young and confused man who needs help with his injury is turned away from the emergency department after he is stabilized with no follow up care, because he has no insurance or money. He has a broken arm and cannot work for weeks, his injury heals incorrectly, causing a disability. This young man may feel and believe that people are hostile and do not care for others.
Contrast this with a wealthy and beautiful socialite who gets sick. Her environment will give her a social response of great care. The staff and her family will get medicine and soup for her and prod her to rest. This woman believes that people are good. Both thinkers are correct and yet both are incorrect. They are incorrect because they turn these events into belief structures.
People have perceptions based on where they are: struggling student vs successful businessman, stock market failure or middle-aged business woman, and who they are: married, widowed, woman, old man, gay, young girl.
The Construct of Belief Systems
Those perceptions are guideposts to belief systems and they are structured on those perceptions. Belief systems are the bedrock of our lives. They allow us to proceed with ease by helping us to not question each activity that we engage in with others. Illusions and biases are the construct for ensuring that the belief system persists throughout life.
For example, believing that you are a good person will make you act like you are good and it will also make you go to extreme measures to show how good you are. Guilt will be formed when this belief is faced with a reality that doesn’t match with these beliefs. This will create cognitive dissonance. In fact, the person stole cash from a friend and yet wants to believe in their own goodness. This person will have guilt. (Providing that the person has a conscience and is capable of feeling guilt.) Then they may deny the theft, or they may justify the theft by stating (to self) that the friend could afford the theft. Much has been written about denial.
If you are a human being, it will benefit you to understand the brain’s demand for structuring an actual foundation for beliefs. This demand for a belief structure can lead you to reinforce your beliefs in spite of counter evidence. Your bias can actually “bend reality” so that what has occurred in front of you, becomes your perception and not reality. We want our world to fit our pre-conceptions of reality.
How Perceptions Shape How We Treat Others
Perceptions and beliefs are how we treat ourselves as well as how we treat others. Perhaps the most painful part of perception as reality is dismissing the aging population in America. If you are over sixty you have experienced a younger person dismissing your knowledge, wisdom and abilities. If you are in the workforce, you have been supervised by someone who is younger than you – and that someone, inevitably has a negative opinion of anyone over 60. It’s a fact of life in America.
We paint the world with our perceptions. Our own experience becomes the way of the world. I have spoken with many who believe that their own experience defines the universe. I spoke with a woman about medical EHRs (electronic health records) and she was absolutely convinced that there was a national record system. It turned out that she had a physician who worked at a large practice where the doctors shared records. In other words, her personal experience dictated her beliefs, and she wasn’t open to the fact that others have different experiences. She had great difficulty grasping the fact that others had a different experience than her own. “Others” either don’t understand, or they have done something wrong.
This young woman often told me that because I am her mom, and “I had to” tell her that she was pretty, beautiful and amazing. I was right (of course), but, I was doubted, because I am a mom. Because moms are obligated to compliment their children, you shouldn’t believe a mom who is complimenting you.
When our beliefs align with Reality…
The truth is we know about the role that perception plays in life and in society. One of the reasons we love people like Professor Galloway (smart, genuine and generous) and Bonnie Raitt (talented, caring, brilliant musician) is because they really are what we perceive about them. Our perceptions did not make a mistake about these two human beings. They are what the presentation implies. This alignment gives our brain a rest. No energy has to be invested in making things right between our belief and the presentation. No cognitive dissonance occurs.
