My husband sees the best in everyone that he loves. No matter what they do, if he loves them, they did the right thing.
If he loves you, he defends you. He can do this to the point that he makes things up in his head. In my husband’s mind, you are wonderful, so of course you must have sent a thank you card (even if you didn’t). He will give you credit for the thank you card because he loves you. Plain and simple.
When I was younger by 20 or 30 years, I thought it was important for everyone to see truth and to be only honest. Brutal honesty with self was the only way to have successful relationships (or so I thought). I gave classes on how to be genuine, because I myself thought that the world had given goodness to each and every individual. Teach people to be genuine and to be open and accepting because everyone is basically good and therefore your experiences will be good.
I might have argued with my now husband, back then. Ironically, back then I thought I was a great person arguing for honesty. What would be honest about casting aspersions on a kid who forgot to send a thank you note? What would we gain by thinking of this kid as lazy or ungrateful? Now I know I would never interrupt my husband’s train of thought. I like it that he believes that his loved ones are wonderful people. I like it that he sees his loved ones as making the very best effort in every case. Of course, I am his beloved.
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Be Aware (Beware)
You are not speaking from a place of knowing.
You are speaking from a place of guessing.
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How to Stop Being a Hoodlum in Six Easy Steps
Stop seeing people as a means to an end
Stop looking at everything as if you must identify a financial gain
Acknowledge that other people do not exist for your use
Listen to feedback without dismissing it, you may find out that you are not perceived well
Stop imagining that you have been victimized, you have not, or if you have, it no longer matters
Accept consequences, yes, you do deserve them.
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If it isn’t “a thing”
Then why bring it up? Why mention it? Why talk about it? To bring it up in heated denial makes it “a thing”.“The lady doth protest too much, methinks” is a quotation from the 1599/1600 play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. It has been used as a figure of speech, in various phrasings, to describe someone’s too frequent and vehement attempts to convince others of some matter of which the opposite is true, thereby making themselves appear defensive, and insincere. Wikipedia
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In Regards to Hillary Clinton…
Be aware that my master’s degree is in public health and my studies required economics as well as public policy in health care. I was working on my master’s while the Clintons were in office.
I mention this because I am an expert in health care. I understand the micro economics and the macro economics of health care.
The first surprise is that health-care does not respond to supply and demand economic theory. Research has proven this fact many, many times. Secondly, contrary to common belief, the majority of healthcare in this country is paid for with tax dollars. We (the people) have legislated wealthy insurance companies into being. We have pursued economics, rather than health care. What I mean by this, is that in America, health care is chiefly seen as a way to make money, rather than a way to keep people well. In the 1980s and 90s (indeed to this day) Uwe Reinhardt (Princeton) and others were publishing research that demonstrated the inefficiencies of the current health care system. Nothing has changed from this general picture until the current systems in place with “ObamaCare”.
This is what the economists found and is still true: the majority of healthcare is paid for with tax dollars, Medicare and Medicaid. The people in this country who are sick are predominantly, old or poverty stricken. Healthy people are insured by private companies that will only insure healthy people, thus assuring continued profitability. The real cost of health care has never been paid by insurance companies. Insurance companies operate for a profit, again, not to take care of human beings’ health, but rather to put money into wealthy pockets.
So the question is “Is health care a privilege or a right?” Most westernized countries declare that healthcare is a right and that all citizens are entitled to it.
In regards to Hillary’s mistakes that are so numerously mentioned:
I am aware that both Clintons have made many, many errors in their political careers. I do not see very many politicians who aren’t grossly overpaid for very little work.
Here is the difference that I perceive: Bush and the Republican party falsely perpetrated a war on the American people that, in our grief, we fell for because Americans were so hurt by 9/11/01.
People die in wars, lots and lots of people, lots and lots of American sons and daughters die in every single war that America engages in. Once the war was in place, Bush and Cheney then put together private armies and private contracts that profited from American tax dollars in the billions, not millions, but in the billions. They continued to perpetrate this false claim on America for as long as they could keep the money faucet rolling out personal profit and power.
The wealthy politicians (Bush and Cheney, Republicans) did not care about our sons and daughters, indeed, not any of the current Bush family ever had to serve within a thousand miles of combat. The reason they did not serve in combat is not because they were lucky like Jeff Bradham, but because they (rich politicians) made sure that their own sons and daughters were safe.What I appreciate about the Clintons is that I do not see the horror of war being chased and profited on. I can forgive almost anything, except the killing of our sons and daughters for personal profit. That is unforgivable.
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Do You Ever Get Uncomfortable?
You always talk about why success cannot be achieved. You argue for failure.
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No High Heels for Me, Not Ever
I know they are beautiful and sexy. If you check out National Geographic you will see that most societies put their young women on display via the high heel. Arched back, Breast thrust forward, and you have the true makings of the young in pursuit of mating.The high heel is uncomfortable and discourages walking. For many, many years I wore them anyway. My legs are gorgeous and always have been, but boy, with a hi heel, they are magnificent. It wasn’t the best choice. First, I did not need to mate. I had a great husband and more kids than I could handle. I received so much positive attention, I thought it was worth while. In retrospect, not so much.
Walking on high heels damages your body and leads you to a sedentary lifestyle. Both of these facts are not good for you as a person. I have been reflecting on why women do these things and I think it has something to do with advertising and emulating the rich. Advertising tells us to emulate the rich and unfortunately, we do it. What is nail polish but a way to prove that we don’t engage in manual labor? What are hi heels, past mating, they are but a way to prove that we live in leisure and elegance. Unfortunately, advertising has a powerful effect on human behavior.
I am very proud of my second cousin – www.Whitneydolo.com, as she explores body mythology and body identity. Whitney was born missing an arm and a leg. She is committed to finding herself and being a woman. She is doing a great job.
She encourages me to speak out. I have long believed that the female culture is a farce. I say so now because it is time. Thank you Whitney. 😍😝
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I Want a Promotion…
“I want a promotion”
She sat in front of me tearfully requesting this promotion that was available to all applicants on the ‘floor’.
I had reviewed all applications and the woman sitting in front of me had never advanced her education beyond her GED that she had earned over 40 years ago. I almost didn’t believe that she was sitting in front of me making this request. So I asked her, “Did you take any classes at all after high school?” “Anything?”
“No” she replied. I looked at her application and then I looked up at her. She told me about how her husband was unemployed and that her kid could not get a job paying more than minimum wage. She told me how hard she was struggling to keep her family “afloat”. I could feel her pain. Later, when I was alone, I cried for her and her family.
There are a couple of doubts that I have when a staff member is not interested in training and has not completed any post high school continuing education:
1. I fear that their own personal life is so consuming they don’t have time for anything else.
2. I fear that they feel that they do not need to learn, they already know everything.
3. I fear that they believe through some level of superiority, either because they are smart or handsome or even ‘experienced’ that they do not have to get an education.
4. I fear that they do not have any perception about the external world, credentialing is a crucial element in building a career. How could anyone miss the importance of credentialing?
5. I fear that this person has never felt a connection to a career, but rather, has just grown old in a “job”.
6. I fear that they expect a gift, rather than the reality of a competitive environment that needs production.
I cannot “give” a job to anyone. Because I am a professional manager, I will always go with the most well qualified candidate. Sometimes, the only thing that matters is experience; however, that is not often the case. I look for knowledge, attitude, willingness to learn and engagement to the work. The knowledge necessary pertains to the subject matter, the attitude necessary is an attitude of getting the job done well and willingness means that the staff member realizes that it is necessary to be open to learning and that means putting yourself in a place of learning and even challenging your own abilities. As far as engagement is concerned, I find that those who are disenfranchised do the least amount of work with the least amount of effort, often leaving their own errors for others to correct. This kind of behavior is a morale killer.
So no, I cannot “give” you a promotion. Though you may get angry with me and feel that I am unfair because you believe that your “experience” warrants this promotion, it won’t change reality to be angry. When I understand how you feel, I will be even more disappointed with you. So please, figure YOU out and please, leave me on the sidelines of your analysis. -
Children’s Grief
Your children’s grief lies upon you like all of the sadness in the world. It cuts through all conversations and missed conversations as if there is no meaning.You know grief intimately; and so you know that there is no relief that you can give. You must stand by and watch the tears flow and absorb the pain that is in the moment.
Unknown Artist, Unspeakable Grief -
Gloria, the Sentinel, Guardian of our Hearts
When you walk through life, there are sentinels. Sentinels stand guard over us to keep us safe. Gogi’s job was to guard hearts, and she did. She guarded everyone’s hearts, not just her family, not just her loved ones, she loved everyone and so she loved us. You may gain people for your family, you may lose people, but your sentinel is always there. That is who the mothers are, sentinels for our hearts. Gogi took this job so seriously, and stayed with us, regardless of our situations or our lives. I am sure that she became weary towards the end. But she did not stop guarding us, ever. Gogi, go peacefully, we will take up arms, you have loved all of us for so very long. Rest now and receive from us, our love to you. We love you Gloria and we will not ever forget your love, nor will we forget how you guarded our hearts.