• It is What it is...,  Love and Relationships

    Love Disappointment

    July 25, 2016

    Have you ever loved someone (I’m talking family and friendship love) and no matter what you do, or how you treat them, they just reject you and your efforts?

    It is sincere from the standpoint of honesty, at least they do not pretend to want to spend time with you.  When they rebuff your invitation, at least you know that they are candid and forthright.

    I may wonder why they will always reject me; I may question myself “What did I do to cause this?”  No communication will ever come, this fact is well established and does not regain consideration.

    Still, I cannot stop feeling disappointed.  I love this person; I want this person to love me.  The fact that my love is not reciprocated, in no way changes how much I love.

    I am stuck here with love disappointment.  At least, it is genuine love and genuine disappointment.

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  • Economy of Effort,  Management

    Insubordinate, Incompetent or Incapable

    July 6, 2016

    Insubordinate, Incompetent or Incapable in the Workplace

    For many years I have taught that there are only two issues that cause managers to terminate employment of staff members: insubordination and incompetence.

    I have learned something new today: incapability ~ not having the necessary ability, qualification, or strength to perform a specified act or function.

    Incompetent ~ lacking qualification or ability, noun; a mentally deficient person

    So, even though incompetent and incapability can be synonymous, I would make a distinction.  My own brain and some dictionaries say that incompetence has to do with mental ability, whether it be IQ or emotional state, something about the person means that they cannot perform the task.  Incapability is almost the same, but the status of the inability may not be mental, it can be physical, or one of energy.  In other words, given the right level of energy and time, the task can be done intellectually, but is not, in fact, done because of an inability to create the correct circumstance to get the task done.

    I think this distinction is important because, the incompetence definition implies a less than average IQ.  Incapability is not about intelligence, however, the result is the same.  The task is left undone.

    When I am working with a staff member to assist with performance levels, I can (almost always) predict the outcome based on these definitions.

    Insubordination – the staff member does not want to do the work.  Mistakenly, they may believe that their supervisor is powerless to affect their activities, or they have decided that the supervisor is wrong in some way:   Insubordination – “is the act of willfully disobeying one’s superior. Refusing to perform an action that is unethical or illegal is not insubordination; neither is refusing to perform an action that is not within the scope of authority of the person issuing the order.”  Wikipedia

    Incompetence – try as they might, this staff member cannot get the job done.  They lack the critical thinking skills to understand the process and so they make the same mistakes over and over again.  These mistakes interfere with others work and this team member may be unintentionally disruptive for the rest of the team.  Additionally, all training attempts yield no or very little results, so corrective action is not effective with this team member.

    Incapacity – this team member may not even try to get the job done, they are not able to plan or organize and therefore cannot ever create the correct circumstances to get their job done.  Their intelligence is not compromised in any way and they do not openly deny a supervisor’s instruction, they simply have a never ending supply of good reasons for not getting the job done.  This sometimes appears to be insubordination and even incompetence, but because the staff member is capable and appears to follow instructions, it is unclear what keeps them from getting their job done.

    In any of these situations, I know that the outcome will always be the same: the job will NOT get done.  The staff outcome should always be the same and that is to terminate employment.  The truth is, that it doesn’t matter why staff members do not do their job.  If you, as a supervisor, have diligently trained and worked with the staff member to improve performance and you have given that person lots of time to succeed, then termination is the only end point for non-performance of essential staff functions.  In that light, insubordination is almost always the easiest staffing issue, because it is so straightforward.

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  • Baby Boomers,  Love and Relationships

    My Husband Sees Only Good in those He Loves

    June 28, 2016

    My husband sees the best in everyone that he loves. No matter what they do, if he loves them, they did the right thing.
    If he loves you, he defends you. He can do this to the point that he makes things up in his head. In my husband’s mind, you are wonderful, so of course you must have sent a thank you card (even if you didn’t). He will give you credit for the thank you card because he loves you. Plain and simple.
    When I was younger by 20 or 30 years, I thought it was important for everyone to see truth and to be only honest. Brutal honesty with self was the only way to have successful relationships (or so I thought). I gave classes on how to be genuine, because I myself thought that the world had given goodness to each and every individual. Teach people to be genuine and to be open and accepting because everyone is basically good and therefore your experiences will be good.
    I might have argued with my now husband, back then. Ironically, back then I thought I was a great person arguing for honesty. What would be honest about casting aspersions on a kid who forgot to send a thank you note? What would we gain by thinking of this kid as lazy or ungrateful? Now I know I would never interrupt my husband’s train of thought. I like it that he believes that his loved ones are wonderful people. I like it that he sees his loved ones as making the very best effort in every case. Of course, I am his beloved.

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  • Economy of Effort

    How to Stop Being a Hoodlum in Six Easy Steps

    May 26, 2016

    Stop seeing people as a means to an end

    Stop looking at everything as if you must identify a financial gain

    Acknowledge that other people do not exist for your use

    Listen to feedback without dismissing it, you may find out that you are not perceived well

    Stop imagining that you have been victimized, you have not, or if you have, it no longer matters

    Accept consequences, yes, you do deserve them.

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  • Hmmm...,  Personal Growth

    If it isn’t “a thing”

    May 21, 2016

    Then why bring it up?  Why mention it?  Why talk about it?  To bring it up in heated denial makes it “a thing”.

    “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” is a quotation from the 1599/1600 play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. It has been used as a figure of speech, in various phrasings, to describe someone’s too frequent and vehement attempts to convince others of some matter of which the opposite is true, thereby making themselves appear defensive, and insincere.   Wikipedia

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  • Economic Equality (A Goal),  World Affairs

    In Regards to Hillary Clinton…

    May 12, 2016

    Be aware that my master’s degree is in public health and my studies required economics as well as public policy in health care. I was working on my master’s while the Clintons were in office.
    I mention this because I am an expert in health care. I understand the micro economics and the macro economics of health care.
    The first surprise is that health-care does not respond to supply and demand economic theory. Research has proven this fact many, many times. Secondly, contrary to common belief, the majority of healthcare in this country is paid for with tax dollars. We (the people) have legislated wealthy insurance companies into being. We have pursued economics, rather than health care. What I mean by this, is that in America, health care is chiefly seen as a way to make money, rather than a way to keep people well. In the 1980s and 90s (indeed to this day) Uwe Reinhardt (Princeton) and others were publishing research that demonstrated the inefficiencies of the current health care system. Nothing has changed from this general picture until the current systems in place with “ObamaCare”.
    This is what the economists found and is still true: the majority of healthcare is paid for with tax dollars, Medicare and Medicaid. The people in this country who are sick are predominantly, old or poverty stricken. Healthy people are insured by private companies that will only insure healthy people, thus assuring continued profitability. The real cost of health care has never been paid by insurance companies. Insurance companies operate for a profit, again, not to take care of human beings’ health, but rather to put money into wealthy pockets.
    So the question is “Is health care a privilege or a right?” Most westernized countries declare that healthcare is a right and that all citizens are entitled to it.
    In regards to Hillary’s mistakes that are so numerously mentioned:
    I am aware that both Clintons have made many, many errors in their political careers. I do not see very many politicians who aren’t grossly overpaid for very little work.
    Here is the difference that I perceive: Bush and the Republican party falsely perpetrated a war on the American people that, in our grief, we fell for because Americans were so hurt by 9/11/01.
    People die in wars, lots and lots of people, lots and lots of American sons and daughters die in every single war that America engages in. Once the war was in place, Bush and Cheney then put together private armies and private contracts that profited from American tax dollars in the billions, not millions, but in the billions. They continued to perpetrate this false claim on America for as long as they could keep the money faucet rolling out personal profit and power.
    The wealthy politicians (Bush and Cheney, Republicans) did not care about our sons and daughters, indeed, not any of the current Bush family ever had to serve within a thousand miles of combat. The reason they did not serve in combat is not because they were lucky like Jeff Bradham, but because they (rich politicians) made sure that their own sons and daughters were safe.

    What I appreciate about the Clintons is that I do not see the horror of war being chased and profited on. I can forgive almost anything, except the killing of our sons and daughters for personal profit. That is unforgivable.

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  • Baby Boomers,  Womens Issues

    No High Heels for Me, Not Ever

    April 23, 2016

    I know they are beautiful and sexy.  If you check out National Geographic you will see that most societies put their young women on display via the high heel.  Arched back, Breast thrust forward, and you have the true makings of the young in pursuit of mating.

    The high heel is uncomfortable and discourages walking.  For many, many years I wore them anyway.  My legs are gorgeous and always have been, but boy, with a hi heel, they are magnificent.  It wasn’t the best choice.  First, I did not need to mate.  I had a great husband and more kids than I could handle.  I received so much positive attention, I thought it was worth while. In retrospect, not so much.

    Walking on high heels damages your body and leads you to a sedentary lifestyle.  Both of these facts are not good for you as a person.  I have been reflecting on why women do these things and I think it has something to do with advertising and emulating the rich.  Advertising tells us to emulate the rich and unfortunately, we do it.  What is nail polish but a way to prove that we don’t engage in manual labor?  What are hi heels, past mating, they are but a way to prove that we live in leisure and elegance. Unfortunately, advertising has a powerful effect on human behavior.

    I am very proud of my second cousin – www.Whitneydolo.com, as she explores body mythology and body identity.  Whitney was born missing an arm and a leg.  She is committed to finding herself and being a woman. She is doing a great job.

    She encourages me to speak out.  I have long believed that the female culture is a farce.  I say so now because it is time.  Thank you Whitney.  😍😝

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  • Management,  Personal Growth

    I Want a Promotion…

    April 20, 2016

    “I want a promotion”
    She sat in front of me tearfully requesting this promotion that was available to all applicants on the ‘floor’.
    I had reviewed all applications and the woman sitting in front of me had never advanced her education beyond her GED that she had earned over 40 years ago. I almost didn’t believe that she was sitting in front of me making this request. So I asked her, “Did you take any classes at all after high school?” “Anything?”
    “No” she replied. I looked at her application and then I looked up at her. She told me about how her husband was unemployed and that her kid could not get a job paying more than minimum wage. She told me how hard she was struggling to keep her family “afloat”.  I could feel her pain. Later, when I was alone, I cried for her and her family.
    There are a couple of doubts that I have when a staff member is not interested in training and has not completed any post high school continuing education:
    1. I fear that their own personal life is so consuming they don’t have time for anything else.
    2. I fear that they feel that they do not need to learn, they already know everything.
    3. I fear that they believe through some level of superiority, either because they are smart or handsome or even ‘experienced’ that they do not have to get an education.
    4. I fear that they do not have any perception about the external world, credentialing is a crucial element in building a career. How could anyone miss the importance of credentialing?
    5. I fear that this person has never felt a connection to a career, but rather, has just grown old in a “job”.
    6. I fear that they expect a gift, rather than the reality of a competitive environment that needs production.
    I cannot “give” a job to anyone. Because I am a professional manager, I will always go with the most well qualified candidate. Sometimes, the only thing that matters is experience; however, that is not often the case. I look for knowledge, attitude, willingness to learn and engagement to the work. The knowledge necessary pertains to the subject matter, the attitude necessary is an attitude of getting the job done well and willingness means that the staff member realizes that it is necessary to be open to learning and that means putting yourself in a place of learning and even challenging your own abilities. As far as engagement is concerned, I find that those who are disenfranchised do the least amount of work with the least amount of effort, often leaving their own errors for others to correct. This kind of behavior is a morale killer.
    So no, I cannot “give” you a promotion. Though you may get angry with me and feel that I am unfair because you believe that your “experience” warrants this promotion, it won’t change reality to be angry. When I understand how you feel, I will be even more disappointed with you. So please, figure YOU out and please, leave me on the sidelines of your analysis.

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