• Philosophy,  Speaking as a Parent

    Christmas Gifting

    We all have our own sentimental thoughts, feelings and beliefs about Christmas gifting and I want to set the record straight about my own philosophy. You can bet that any philosophy I have is related to my own life philosophy about everything.
    I remember meeting people that only gave gift cards for Christmas. They would hand out cards to all the members of their own family, uncaring as to whether the gift card was right for that person. I thought that this practice was abhorrent. One should at least care what KIND of gift card was appropriate and even more caring would be a thoughtful gift that actually reflected the care that you have for that person.
    We all get nervous about getting the “right” gift for a loved one, but, rather than reacting cowardly and purchasing a gift card, dig deeper and think deeply about the person that you are buying for. Even a silly gift is excellent if it reflects the recipient’s taste instead of your own.
    There is the crux of the matter, if you are giving, it must be about the other person that you are giving to, the giving cannot be about you. Otherwise it is not giving.

  • Baby Boomers,  Management,  Personal Growth

    Your Background Belief Guides Your Everyday Actions

    Which is what forms your practical structures.
    If you believe that people are essentially good and want to achieve, you will treat them this way, if you believe that people are essentially lazy, you will treat them a different way.
    This is another reason for being in the now, it allows you to deal with the situation in front of you, instead of the situation behind you.
    How you treat others is essentially the groundwork for how they will treat you. If you believe that your “rank” protects you from the consequences of how you treat others, that is a mistake. While subordinates very rarely give honest feedback to managers, it does not mean that their actions will follow suit. If given a chance, subordinates will find a way to treat a manager the same as they have been treated by that manager.
    In any case, beliefs are the the practical structure that gives sustenance to daily chores and thus creates the foundation for how our work affects ourselves and others.
    Think of it this way, when you approach someone, and they smile broadly, welcoming your approach, you feel much differently than when you are scowled at. Whether we know it or not, we broadcast our beliefs about the world, and each other, in a myriad of ways, every single day.
    I always encourage everyone to understand their own thought processes, so that the underlying beliefs can be identified. It is only through identification that these beliefs can be managed. Often, people think that their own beliefs are reality and do not need to be examined, but nothing could be further from the truth.
    It is fundamentally important to identify your beliefs and to understand their relevance to your everyday life and behavior. By doing this, you become better able to be here now, which is the only time and place for reality.

  • Economic Equality (A Goal)

    How Advertising Cheats Us

    I don’t know how or when it happened, but we base many of our cultural definitions on what the TV tells us is true and correct. We see freedom as a function of owning the correct truck, we see beauty as a product of youth, and we see wealth as a function of owning the right car. Commercialism and advertising have become the definition for how we see each other and ourselves.
    How advertising draws these connections is insidious. As we watch the pretty, young, blonde woman get into the fast car with a handsome and dark stranger, we become convinced that having that fast car will gain us the pretty blonde woman. The truth of the matter is that none of this is true. The connections between youth and happiness, between a fast car and sex are all fairy tales. I’m not sure I understand how our culture has allowed these false beliefs to run amuck within our society.
    During the 80s nothing was more important than personal wealth, we watched shows like “Dallas” and knowing that the wealthy were evil didn’t stop us from admiring and emulating them. This national belief in wealth brought us to where we are today. We have an extremely wealthy 1% and each and everyone else struggles. More than 50% of our population here in America lives in poverty. Currently, many people believe that if someone is poor, it is their own fault. This belief system was perpetuated by the 80s mindset which said that anything you do to get wealthy is okay, as long as you get wealthy. We had a culture of the ends justify the means. What happened along the way, is that powerful and wealthy groups began to legislate their wealth.
    Walmart is the perfect example of this legislation. A minimum wage, which is not enough to pay rent, in any state of this nation, has been in place for 30 years. The profit from Walmart is funneled into a few individuals’ pockets, while poverty stricken and therefore powerless people , who work for Walmart, struggle to eat. Walmart workers are forced to use Medicaid and get food stamps, because Walmart has found a way to keep their hours under 40, therein bypassing the requirement to provide health insurance and other benefits to workers.
    Because our culture says you can do anything, it is your fault that you are not wealthy. This credo has become the middle and upper class mantra because it justifies withholding benefit and money from the poverty stricken. “We are justified in hanging onto our millions, because look, the lower class is lazy.” These are the kinds of false beliefs that come out of our entertainment and advertising businesses here in America.
    This is a justification that has been perpetrated on all of America and you know what? We know better, we know that our system is riddled with inequality, inconsistency and economic deprivation of others for personal gain. We also know that it is not just criminals who are stealing from the American people, it is also big corporations, banks and Wall Street. Indeed, any one institution that can steal, has been caught stealing.
    Early in the morning, while I am getting ready for work, I can hear the commercials playing in the background. McDonald’s has a way of luring people into believing that drinking their coffee is about love and about having a great day. The last time I was at McDonald’s there was nothing lovely or great about it and I certainly didn’t want to whistle, nor did I turn into bright colors. However, in spite of our very real experience, this association is believed by millions of my workmates, who cannot see themselves starting the day without McDonald’s or Starbucks.
    How did this happen? At what point did we decide to give over our intellect in favor of entertainment?

  • Economy of Effort,  Management

    Beware the Message, Because of the Messenger

    In my ignorance, I believed that everyone was aware that they have a point of view and that the point of view is uniquely their own and not necessarily reality. I know that humans love being right and correct in all things, yet I believed that we are all, at least aware, that our point of view is skewed by our own background and our emotions.
    Doesn’t everyone understand that motivations are very personal? I mean one reason why we do not “trust” salesmen is because the motivation is counter to our own motivation which is to keep our money, while the salesman wishes us to part with our money. So inherently, we all know that motivation is personal.

    I am surprised when people don’t recognize that actions have motivations behind them. For all supervisors and management staff, indeed for anyone who has a senior decision making role in any position in life, one must consider the motivation for all incoming communication and feedback. Only by understanding that all behavior is motivated and that motivations are strictly personal in nature, can we truly evaluate the point of the conversation.

    Many will come to you to attempt to bend your opinions and actions to their own personal point of view, this is called lobbying, and everyone engages in it. We fall into relationships that require trust and sometimes that will lull us into not thinking, because, clearly, if we thought about it, we would know when malfeasance was coming our way.
    What is coming your way?

  • Love and Relationships

    My Daughter My Heart

    Who can know which way the heart will go? Who can know what will take us, what will make us and what our true heart song will be?
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    Together ForeverMy Loves
    The birth of my daughter. One of the best events of my life. Happy Birthday Johanna, I love you.

  • Economy of Effort,  Management

    It is Not Always Correct to be Polite

    I am sitting in a dentist’s chair with a cute little intern leaning over me, pressing hard on the metal mold. I growled. I won’t sit still for pain, I can deal with it, but you gotta tell me why and for how long. You can’t just place metal in my mouth and smother me with goop and expect me to be polite and deal with it.
    The dental assistant is shocked that I would actually speak up for myself. I don’t get mad, I am not angry or upset, but I have been told many times that this process will only take five minutes. I waited in the lobby for half an hour and then sat in the dental chair for twenty minutes and all of this for a five minute procedure. So while the staff looks at me with consternation; I am quietly wondering if the whole world has gone mad. When did our society get to the point of politeness overwhelming common sense?
    I am saying that we should be giving people feedback, otherwise how will people know that they are performing inefficiently or worse haphazardly? Since when has speaking up become impoliteness?
    It is nonsensical for doctors, dentists or any other professionals to schedule other people’s time in such a way that the time is lost. If I make an agreement with you and promise to pay you for whatever your procedure is, why can’t I deduct from my payment to you equivalent to my time you have wasted?
    And when I speak up, why, why are you shocked?
    I am not mad, I am not mean. I just want to give you some feedback. In my world, F is for feedback, not failure.

  • Economic Equality (A Goal)

    The CEO and the Concept of Absolute Power

    The room was somber, exceptionally dull. Anyone who was sparkling and bright had long since abandoned this management team for a safer harbor. Some can work in an arbitrary universe, but compensation for such insecurity had to be steep. Steep compensation was not available here. Others had stayed, but only to manage a very short tenure to retirement.
    And so they sat, mature managers and the barely experienced, waiting for the CEO’s condemnation of their work. She was not satisfied with anything that they accomplished. Accomplishments were few and far between, as the managers contemplated how to survive in this hostile universe.
    The old managers wondered what had happened? They were part of the socially conscious revolution with a mission to help others. They had been incredibly successful in their work and had progressed far as the professionals in their world. Then something happened … No one could quite put their finger on when it “happened”. Gradually, concern for human discourse had lessened. Somehow the managers who blamed their staff for all that was wrong, won over the conversation and a general malaise towards the line staff began to take over all conversations. Nothing was the manager’s fault, staff just made mistakes…
    There came an overwhelming belief that people are incompetent and the clients are a nightmare. Slowly this became the mantra of all remaining managers. Unfortunately those managers who are good honest and bright, couldn’t bear the relinquishment of responsibility for staff and programs and humans. The managers, who felt responsibility and accountability, questioned those who would not accept responsibility and very soon they found themselves hated and reviled as rebels and rabble rousers. Those who are good honest and bright, left this blighted organization. They left behind those who believed that they were victims of an incompetent universe and those who scrambled merely to survive. And they left behind all who called themselves “senior managers”. After a good thing has failed, what do you do?
    The CEO sat at the front of the table. She could see the anxiety of the nearly done, those ready for retirement and she could see the resolve of the barely experienced. She didn’t care, as long as they kept on, she didn’t care how they made it. Like a frat boy with a drunken teenage girl, she knew how to manage her board of directors. Just because they knew nothing about the industry, they believed everything she said. They had allowed her and her compatriots to endlessly rape and pillage the company. They pocketed every spare dime that the company made and endlessly explained to staff that the company just could not afford a cost of living raise. If they gave staff a raise, the million dollar bonuses might deflate. So they kept on, lots of staff lived on or below poverty wages while the CEO and her friends pocketed million dollar bonuses. The board of directors took no interest in the details of finances, a million dollars for salary, yes, but they never asked who received the salary?
    So once a month, the CEO and her managers sat in this very room while she lectured and condemned them for their efforts. She was completely correct in her thoughts because she is the one who held the checkbook and the board of directors simply nodded their heads at her power.
    How sad, a microcosm of everything that is wrong with America played out in this very room. And yet, the reality is “third world” in its surreal depiction of the universe: A sad and angry despot with compatriots who must spend their lives convincing others that they deserve all of life’s riches while the “common” human deserves poverty. No one shall disagree, as if they do, they lose livelihood, and they will lose their job.
    So the room, the poisoned room, is heavy and oppressive, while the managers wait, “let me get thru this day” they pray.

  • Management,  Personal Growth

    Highest and Best Skill

    Recently I had the interesting experience of being chastised. I was being chastised because of my inadequate skill in proofreading accounting entries and spreadsheet logic. I’ll admit that it is not a skill that I have practiced. It occurred to me that the person chastising me assumed that with a little bit of practice and effort that anyone could achieve excellence in this skill.
    I notice that many people will treat their own assumptions as the truth in the matter. The problem with this is that managers are not often challenged about their assumptions and so will continue having incorrect assumptions without any check from others.
    Society is often the checkpoint for erroneous beliefs, however, it requires communication for people to realize mistaken beliefs. After all, why change a belief that no one challenges? It must be real, as I think it is so…
    This thought process: that any skill is mastered with practice, could not be further from the truth. Consecutively is the belief that if one does not practice, they are either lazy or sloppy. In other words, it is a popular belief that anyone willing to work can attain any skill that there is. Ergo, if a person does not have the skill, it is because they are unwilling to work = laziness.
    Of course all of this is simply incorrect. Educators have been trying to tell us for at least half a century that people are born with talents and preferences and abilities that are wildly different from each other. Average is a concept that is difficult to describe.
    So, one cannot claim to know THE truth, at best, we can only have A truth, which is normally our own truth.
    At least part of the truth is this: what talents that I have naturally and that come easily to me, or at least are attainable and manageable, are things that I will practice. This practice increases my skill level and if I am sufficiently talented and sufficiently able and willing to practice and practice, I can become a champion.
    Nowhere in the above paragraph is an assumption that all skills are attainable by everyone that is willing to practice, they are not. Not everyone will make a good accountant, nor should we assume that a good accountant is a good spreadsheet proofreader. These two skills are NOT the same and the association is loose, at best.
    The challenge for a good manager is to examine each assumption for the validity of the assumption. For any manager of humans and school teachers are included here, we all have different talents. Development of a talent is rewarding, however, practice in the absence of talent can yield mundane results. Additionally, talents are not interchangeable just because they are similar, you cannot make an accountant into a proof reader by virtue of association.
    A mature manager knows that natural talents should be aimed at work that fits the talent. This is a critical skill for managers and it requires that a manager be talented, practiced and skillful.