• Spirituality

    Karma in the Western World

    I have lots of friends who are good “Christians” and they LOVE karma.  They love the idea that the universe has laws that bring justice to humans who do bad things.  The idea is that “what you do, will come back around to you”.  I can’t disagree with the idea that karma exists and yet, I believe that our construct of karma is very wrong.  Justice is a human construct and it is humans who wish to gain revenge over others.  I don’t believe that the universe has an idea of justice.  If the universe had an idea of justice, so much about this world would be different than it is.  For example, money would not have so much power as it does.

    I cringe when I hear people saying with glee, “karma is going to get you!”  They are taking the idea of a religious principal and applying that idea to their personal concept of the world.  Dare I say?  Yes, the point is almost always revenge.  I am not claiming that justice is not very real and very necessary, I am simply calling attention to the perversion (=the alteration of something from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended[Google]) of a religious concept: Karma.

    The second important point of this discourse is that Christians who follow the new testament (in other words ALL Christians) are supposed to adhere to the concept of forgiveness.   In fact the basic tenet of Christianity is one of forgiveness:   Christians believe in justification by faith – that through their belief in Jesus as the Son of God, and in his death and resurrection, they can have a right relationship with God whose forgiveness was made once and for all through the death of Jesus Christ. [Google].

    So how is it that Karma is so popular with Christians?  Because we are humans who want to know that our hurt that was caused by another can be revisited on that other in equal measure.  We do not want our pain to be suffered alone, we want someone to blame and someone to be hurt as we are hurt.   We are a vengeful culture, indeed, according to society, revenge is a priority for any of us.  While we are hurting, we cannot grasp forgiveness, while we are hurting it is almost impossible to think of the perpetrator in any way except with anger.  So, while I believe that vengefulness is quite natural as a feeling, I would draw the line here.  Society attempts to bring structure to human feelings and thoughts.  Forgiveness is a higher good that is conceptualized in all of the world religions.  We humans want to act on our hurt and vengeful thoughts and when we cannot act on them, we will depend on Karma to get revenge for us.

    This way of thinking is not towards a higher good; Karma is not an instrument of human justice.  Further, Karma is conceptualized in Hinduism and Buddhism, not in Christianity.  The Christian tenets are of forgiveness and love.

    This is what makes me cringe: we don’t like politicians who do not have firm and unshakable beliefs; we don’t like capitalists who mindlessly work on their own behalf while treading on others.  We get angry with people who try to “bend” truth and or reality to their own preference.   This is hypocritical of us, if we say we are Christians, but we are incapable of forgiveness and would rather preach Karma.

    I am not a religious person, so I am not sure what the rules are, but I do know this:  Karma is not a misconception for revenge.  Instead it is a holy practice for living, if you are a Buddhist or an adherent of Hinduism.  It is a reflection of the golden rule; it is a macroscopic view for “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Living your life as if what you do, is what you get in return, is a way of living that ensures goodness.

  • Love and Relationships,  Personal Growth

    Have You Ever?

    Have you ever had someone in your life that you try hard for: you spend money and you work hard and then… Because they have a picture in their mind of perfection, they can never appreciate you.  You will never compare favorably to the person that lives in their head.  You can tell that your sincere efforts are being dismissed and invalidated and maybe you wonder what you have done wrong?  Don’t concern yourself, seriously, there is no hope that you will have an authentic relationship with this person.  Let them go.

  • Baby Boomers,  Speaking as a Parent

    Parenting Adults

    Is different for everyone.
    Is different for everyone.
    Don’t try to orchestrate other people’s lives: even if you have given birth or otherwise parented these people. Life often gives us unintended consequences. If you orchestrate another person’s life, you own any consequences, including unintended consequences. If you don’t believe that you do ~ don’t fret, because everyone else believes that you do. The point is that we make life decisions for ourselves, our young children and no one else. The exceptions include, any loved one who has a disease that interferes with thinking; or anyone that you own responsibility for because of mental incapacity.
    As I have gotten older I have become acquainted with some obvious American characteristics that I was not aware of earlier in my life. One is that, young people often believe that they know more than older and more experienced people. Another is that older people, particularly parents, believe that they are wiser and know better than younger people.
    This disparity in perspectives often causes disagreements and hurt feelings. This can be avoided when we understand a few things. One is that our culture encourages young people to believe that they are superior to everyone (and thus never need direction or advice). Another way to avoid disagreement and hurt feelings is to realize that even though young people may make very bad decisions that take them down dark roads, they own that road.
    So while we may believe that we know what is good and right for another, the best approach is to bring the information to the attention of the young person and let them decide. It’s important to bring the young person’s attention to the choosing, because it may bring a dimension to the choice that was not previously realized by your young person.
    Like so many human conditions, communication appears to be the answer.

  • Philosophy,  Speaking as a Parent

    Christmas Gifting

    We all have our own sentimental thoughts, feelings and beliefs about Christmas gifting and I want to set the record straight about my own philosophy. You can bet that any philosophy I have is related to my own life philosophy about everything.
    I remember meeting people that only gave gift cards for Christmas. They would hand out cards to all the members of their own family, uncaring as to whether the gift card was right for that person. I thought that this practice was abhorrent. One should at least care what KIND of gift card was appropriate and even more caring would be a thoughtful gift that actually reflected the care that you have for that person.
    We all get nervous about getting the “right” gift for a loved one, but, rather than reacting cowardly and purchasing a gift card, dig deeper and think deeply about the person that you are buying for. Even a silly gift is excellent if it reflects the recipient’s taste instead of your own.
    There is the crux of the matter, if you are giving, it must be about the other person that you are giving to, the giving cannot be about you. Otherwise it is not giving.

  • Baby Boomers,  Management,  Personal Growth

    Your Background Belief Guides Your Everyday Actions

    Which is what forms your practical structures.
    If you believe that people are essentially good and want to achieve, you will treat them this way, if you believe that people are essentially lazy, you will treat them a different way.
    This is another reason for being in the now, it allows you to deal with the situation in front of you, instead of the situation behind you.
    How you treat others is essentially the groundwork for how they will treat you. If you believe that your “rank” protects you from the consequences of how you treat others, that is a mistake. While subordinates very rarely give honest feedback to managers, it does not mean that their actions will follow suit. If given a chance, subordinates will find a way to treat a manager the same as they have been treated by that manager.
    In any case, beliefs are the the practical structure that gives sustenance to daily chores and thus creates the foundation for how our work affects ourselves and others.
    Think of it this way, when you approach someone, and they smile broadly, welcoming your approach, you feel much differently than when you are scowled at. Whether we know it or not, we broadcast our beliefs about the world, and each other, in a myriad of ways, every single day.
    I always encourage everyone to understand their own thought processes, so that the underlying beliefs can be identified. It is only through identification that these beliefs can be managed. Often, people think that their own beliefs are reality and do not need to be examined, but nothing could be further from the truth.
    It is fundamentally important to identify your beliefs and to understand their relevance to your everyday life and behavior. By doing this, you become better able to be here now, which is the only time and place for reality.

  • Economic Equality (A Goal)

    How Advertising Cheats Us

    I don’t know how or when it happened, but we base many of our cultural definitions on what the TV tells us is true and correct. We see freedom as a function of owning the correct truck, we see beauty as a product of youth, and we see wealth as a function of owning the right car. Commercialism and advertising have become the definition for how we see each other and ourselves.
    How advertising draws these connections is insidious. As we watch the pretty, young, blonde woman get into the fast car with a handsome and dark stranger, we become convinced that having that fast car will gain us the pretty blonde woman. The truth of the matter is that none of this is true. The connections between youth and happiness, between a fast car and sex are all fairy tales. I’m not sure I understand how our culture has allowed these false beliefs to run amuck within our society.
    During the 80s nothing was more important than personal wealth, we watched shows like “Dallas” and knowing that the wealthy were evil didn’t stop us from admiring and emulating them. This national belief in wealth brought us to where we are today. We have an extremely wealthy 1% and each and everyone else struggles. More than 50% of our population here in America lives in poverty. Currently, many people believe that if someone is poor, it is their own fault. This belief system was perpetuated by the 80s mindset which said that anything you do to get wealthy is okay, as long as you get wealthy. We had a culture of the ends justify the means. What happened along the way, is that powerful and wealthy groups began to legislate their wealth.
    Walmart is the perfect example of this legislation. A minimum wage, which is not enough to pay rent, in any state of this nation, has been in place for 30 years. The profit from Walmart is funneled into a few individuals’ pockets, while poverty stricken and therefore powerless people , who work for Walmart, struggle to eat. Walmart workers are forced to use Medicaid and get food stamps, because Walmart has found a way to keep their hours under 40, therein bypassing the requirement to provide health insurance and other benefits to workers.
    Because our culture says you can do anything, it is your fault that you are not wealthy. This credo has become the middle and upper class mantra because it justifies withholding benefit and money from the poverty stricken. “We are justified in hanging onto our millions, because look, the lower class is lazy.” These are the kinds of false beliefs that come out of our entertainment and advertising businesses here in America.
    This is a justification that has been perpetrated on all of America and you know what? We know better, we know that our system is riddled with inequality, inconsistency and economic deprivation of others for personal gain. We also know that it is not just criminals who are stealing from the American people, it is also big corporations, banks and Wall Street. Indeed, any one institution that can steal, has been caught stealing.
    Early in the morning, while I am getting ready for work, I can hear the commercials playing in the background. McDonald’s has a way of luring people into believing that drinking their coffee is about love and about having a great day. The last time I was at McDonald’s there was nothing lovely or great about it and I certainly didn’t want to whistle, nor did I turn into bright colors. However, in spite of our very real experience, this association is believed by millions of my workmates, who cannot see themselves starting the day without McDonald’s or Starbucks.
    How did this happen? At what point did we decide to give over our intellect in favor of entertainment?

  • Economy of Effort,  Management

    Beware the Message, Because of the Messenger

    In my ignorance, I believed that everyone was aware that they have a point of view and that the point of view is uniquely their own and not necessarily reality. I know that humans love being right and correct in all things, yet I believed that we are all, at least aware, that our point of view is skewed by our own background and our emotions.
    Doesn’t everyone understand that motivations are very personal? I mean one reason why we do not “trust” salesmen is because the motivation is counter to our own motivation which is to keep our money, while the salesman wishes us to part with our money. So inherently, we all know that motivation is personal.

    I am surprised when people don’t recognize that actions have motivations behind them. For all supervisors and management staff, indeed for anyone who has a senior decision making role in any position in life, one must consider the motivation for all incoming communication and feedback. Only by understanding that all behavior is motivated and that motivations are strictly personal in nature, can we truly evaluate the point of the conversation.

    Many will come to you to attempt to bend your opinions and actions to their own personal point of view, this is called lobbying, and everyone engages in it. We fall into relationships that require trust and sometimes that will lull us into not thinking, because, clearly, if we thought about it, we would know when malfeasance was coming our way.
    What is coming your way?

  • Love and Relationships

    My Daughter My Heart

    Who can know which way the heart will go? Who can know what will take us, what will make us and what our true heart song will be?
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    Together ForeverMy Loves
    The birth of my daughter. One of the best events of my life. Happy Birthday Johanna, I love you.