Now, all I want is a nap. I mean it. Really, I can take normal, I don’t want to marry a woman, I’m not mad because I am trounced on by proud white men. I just want to get by. That may be a sad statement about reality, but really, I just want to get by. I don’t want to change the world, I really just want to make sure that my kids get a real chance at a good life and I hope that I can live to be old with dignity. I don’t want anything special, just to stay off of the alzheimer medications!
So really, let me be. I was all fiery about having the perfect home and then the perfect kids and then the perfect foods and it all just fizzled out, yeah, like that. What I really want now; is to know love, to know peace and to experience joy. I cannot have any of those things if I am running around angry or frustrated or aggressive. All of those things (love, peace and joy) are available to me through acceptance. Acceptance is unconditional, I have to be alright right now with what is right now. I am not working towards something, I am not trying to accomplish anything, I am, that is all.
For me, the middle child, who must accomplish and who must be productive, this is difficult. I have been driven, all of my life. I have n.e.v.e.r. known peace, ever. I had this idea that I would rest when I accomplished whatever it was that needed to be done in order for me to feel successful. It just wasn’t to be done. Because when you have that feeling of ‘doing’ there is no ‘done’.
So now, I say, accept. Have what you have. It is what it is. Be as you are. Yeah.
One Comment
Lynette
My mantra is “Enough”. It seems to lead me towards the peace of acceptance and the joy of sufficiency. I know younger people may not understand it (I certainly would not have when I was younger), but it seems to fit my developmental stage.