Become “That Person” and I’ll Leave You Too

“That Person” has been played out in my life.  “That Person” has taken many shapes and sizes, yet they are all extremely predictable: this is the one who will always, always be right, and will always, always have a bit of correction for you.  This person always explains to you in great detail how you MISunderstood, because, of course “that person” never misunderstands anything.  This is also the person who wants to tell you how it is that every bad or unlucky thing that has happened to you is your fault, there is some improvement that you could have made or some way that you could have changed things in order for this disappointment to be improved.  They always have an after-the-fact, fixer-upper statement.

Oh my, if you do happen to make an error “that person” will make sure to bring it up again and again in excruciating detail, so that you can “learn from the mistake and improve yourself with personal growth.”  “That Person” always assumes the Wiser Than Thou stance, and falls over him or herself to give you the benefit of their wisdom so that you might one day, be as wise and all-seeing as they are.

“That Person” will harangue you, trying to get you to agree to their own perception of the universe and their perception is never good for you.  Their perception will always include an opinion of you that is “less-than”- or “not-good-enough”.

“That Person” will never cut you a break because their emotions about themselves will not allow it.  “That Person” must be holier-than-thou in order to have some self okay-ness.  If this person does not “one-up” you, they feel less than.  They cannot possibly just “be”.

They are the boss that is full of criticism, your friend who must point out each and every flaw (they are trying to help you ‘grow’), your relative who will never appreciate what you do and must always point out what you have not done…

Therein lies the threat.  I have left several of these people behind me, but they keep coming.  They never believe me.  I always say very clearly “Stop criticizing me, I do not like it.”  They either flat-out ignore me, or they give me platitudes about my own well-being.  No really, sometimes I look around because I can’t quite believe what people are saying to me.  As if “that person” could EVER know what is good for me.  So, when I leave them, they are always a bit surprised or mystified, as if I never said anything to warn them about my departure. 

Really, if you are “That Person” and you do not have unlimited quantities of cash, watch out, everyone WILL leave you.  It is just a matter of time.  Being a righteous know-it-all will eventually make you very lonely.

If you want people in your life: acceptance and “being” will keep people close.  It may not enhance the size of your ego, but it will certainly enhance the size of your family.  You choose.