I did not realize how misused and old that Angel looked, I kept putting it there as a symbol of tradition. My mind was blindly holding onto something not real. As for the tradition, for some reason, I am not seeing it that way now. That tradition may have saved a few bucks, but I think with all of the old memories that the angel symbolizes, my brain has become crowded and rather than having new memories, I reminisce. As my grandchildren started getting excited about decorating the tree I realized once again, that my time is limited to now. To spend my time thinking of yesterday, devalues this moment that I live in right now. I don’t want to miss this moment because my mind is filled with thoughts of a yesterday. This moment really is the best moment. As much as I loved yesterday’s Christmas, it is this Christmas and I want to be happy right now.
This is not to say that we do not remember our loved ones. It is hard to part with the things that my beloved mother touched, yet I know I must. My mother’s things are not my mother and thinking that those things bring me closer to my mother is a misconception. My mother is gone; touching her things will not bring her back. I do not disparage the love of things to preserve memories – I do not. I just know that things are not what we need. Each other is what we need. The present is what we need. The yesterday exists only in our mind.
Again, I am not against memories of the past, or tradition, or the love of mementos from those we have treasured. I am saying that we must be careful that these things that we love from the past, do not crowd out and therefore do harm to the present.