As you know, my daughter moved to Norfolk in 2009 with her 3 month old son, my grandson. It was supposed to be temporary. It was not supposed to last. It was not supposed to be permanent.
My family lives in Florida, and they always come back. Even my brother, who lived away for over a decade, came back. The issue is that his children were raised somewhere else and so they stayed there. My brother came back, but his adult children stayed behind.
And that’s the point, people stay where they are raised. It feels like home and for most people it is.
So I am angry with my daughter, who met another man and had another child. That man is an angry unhappy man who believes (because his father told him) that women are bad. My daughter is trapped by a court system that enjoys a good fight. Norfolk is a Military town and unfortunately considers a man so much more than a woman, when circumstances are considered. Circumstances are rarely considered. My daughter is a single woman who has spent that last four years spending every spare dime on attorney’s fees and begging her case in a court room that is not interested in hearing her. My daughter is trapped surely and resolutely, she has surrendered to this court system that does not consider her, nor her children’s needs.
I am so angry. Why did she surrender? I know she fights, but she also says that she will make her life in Norfolk. No! Why? Are you kidding me?
I will be deprived of my grandsons, probably for my entire life. She will be deprived of loving support throughout my grandsons young life. How can this be an acceptable reality? I don’t see it, and I can’t see it.
When my sons went into the service, I could bear being separated from them because of the promise of their return. I knew they would be back and that made separation bearable. But now, my daughter is alone, without support, and she has no hope of coming home. She is not a rebel like her mother. She does not see a way to get home. I, of course, would run away. My daughter was not born in the days of bra burning and open rebellion against “the man”. She grew up in the 90s with young and compliant people starring in every TV show. And so, the decision is made by her, to be compliant.
I live without my daughter, the person I have spent the last 34 years being concerned with and about. I crazy love her, like a thousand boyfriends, I crazy love her. I want her back. I cannot bear the idea of living the next 15 years without her and without my grandsons. It’s an awful thought and a hard way to live. Every single day I hurt. Every single day I need and I cannot have what I need. My grandsons do not get to hear me or understand me; they will miss all of the easy good days of summer in Florida.
I want them all back. I am angry with a court system that allows this untenable situation to go on for 4 years. This is a court system that does not consider the family at all. This has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. Why is it possible for this to happen in this America? This is the court system? This is what is legal? My daughter and grandsons are kept in a place 800 miles away from her family because of a psychopathic liar who happens to be the father of her youngest child and have a wealthy father? Ugh.
Daughter, please come home.