I know that it is a game that the brain plays, but I sincerely do not want my brain playing this game. I would dearly love to just live from moment to moment, responding to now and if I do not like what my partner likes then to just be able to say “No!” If I am then persuaded to join my partner anyway then I should get points and for the next time, my partner must allow my preference to win. Ah well, it is tit for tat isn’t it?
Keeping Score
The point is that I do not want to keep score, I do not want to be unhappy more than not and in some ways that requires keeping score (or not). I must be vigorously self-conscious to know if and when an event is going to cause me to feel resentful. This is difficult work because often I will say to myself “this is important to you, so let’s just do it.” Comedians will tell you that you are just saving points when you do this kind of peace-keeping and that’s because there is an expectation that whoever you have set aside your preferences for, now they must also set aside their preferences for you the next time that there is a question. My husband calls it tit for tat.
