Life Can Change in a Moment

My first born son, Russell, is in love with a woman named Mandy. They are both single parents, she raising a son, and he raising a daughter. They decided, about six months ago, to do it together.
Yesterday, she had critical surgery, the kind of surgery that lasts hours and scares everyone. In the weeks and days leading up to the surgery, the children broke down. Both were very sick, both had to be taken to the doctor. My son is stoic, a tower of strength, one who does not break down to cry. But yesterday, he was afraid, very afraid. In that hospital surgery room, were his hopes and dreams for a life-time. There lay the danger of mind numbing grief and pending despair. My son and his partner have no choice about this experience, the surgery is life-saving and cannot be avoided. The pain, the waiting, the fear must be endured. And so, he endures.
We sit in a dirty crowded space with many people facing the same reality as we do. The chairs are uncomfortable and they are arm-chairs: the only way that the hospital can assure that people don’t sleep. A lady in navy blue steadily calls family members to inform them of the outcomes of the surgeries. Every time she enters the room, muscles tense and all who wait there, lean slightly forward, hoping that the name called is their own loved one. I am here because I must stand with my son in his hour of fear, as he would do and has done for me. Finally I am hungry and we go downstairs to eat. I turn from the Subway counter and I am looking for Russ. I see him across the room and he is talking to Mandy’s brother-in-law. It is painful, because I know that this is the moment, the moment in which all life can change for us. I see a smile and his body releases that which has tied it up for so long. He moves completely differently and it is good. I had no idea how much it had affected me until – later – I slept straight through for 11 hours. No such luck for my stoic son, who returned to work this morning to “keep the routine.”
Mandy recovers well today, hopefully oblivious to the maddening maelstrom of feelings that has occurred. Yet, what I love about her the most is that she is sensitive and perceptive with her chosen partner, Russell. She will know. She will know that once he sat down after receiving the news that she was well, his whole body shook, his eyes were red and his throat was clogged. I gently reminded him that she was okay, he turned to me and said “It all stayed in me until it was over.” I am sure that he is exhausted. Yet, he has his life with her, and it just may be a good one