Our Effort Dictates the Level of Pain of Failure

I noticed in a new way that the more I tried (in other words: the more work and effort that I put into it) to reach a goal, the more upsetting it was to experience failure.
Recently, I experienced a heart problem. It’s very scary to have something going on with your body that you have no control over!
Additionally, because of popular culture I had come to believe that heart attacks are brought on by the person who suffers it. Heart attacks are suffered by those who eat poorly, by those who do not exercise, those who do not care for their own body. I thought that my heart troubles were my own failure.
As is obvious from my healthy living page, I have been working for years on my health. My diet has always been a good one. In my family, eating at a fast food restaurant is akin to talking to Satan. We never drank sodas and potato chips were never a staple. This healthy stuff has been a lifelong commitment. It’s not something new.
So I was doubly disappointed by my heart condition…I felt I did not “deserve” it. Then I found out that my heart condition had nothing to do with my diet, I didn’t need stents and my veins are mostly clear.
Here is my lesson – try as I might – I am a human being, my physical body lives in a physical world that I do not control, therefor I cannot predict my future, nor can I predict the outcome of my health efforts. It is possible that I work hard and receive no reward for my hard work. I can get a reward i.e. Health and lose my health in a different way, from other circumstances such as an accident. This is not an excuse to quit trying and working hard to be healthy – it just means that I cannot guarantee an outcome. For this lesson I am grateful.
My other lesson is this – bad things happen to each and every one of us. Blaming the recipient of disease and / or failure is not a good way to treat each other. Ignorance may not be an excuse for poor health behavior, but it is not up to me judge and blame others for their hardships.