• Economic Equality (A Goal),  Justice, the Human Construct,  Love and Relationships,  Speaking as a Parent,  Womens Issues

    Injustice: Single Parenthood

    Johanna Baynard

    Johanna Baynard

    3 min read

    ·

    Just now

    What if America truly cared about women and children?

    The very first thing that would be true is that no child in America would go hungry.

    But American children are neither fed nor safe.

    What if a woman could walk into a police station and talk with an advocate and receive immediate safety and security? The advocate would ensure transport to a shelter, but it wouldn’t stop there. The advocate follows the woman to a special family court that doesn’t require attorneys? The advocate could represent her with the full knowledge of her situation. These family courts would be designed for families, not for attorneys.

    Kyle Nieber with Unsplash

    What if access to our court system wasn’t guarded by attorneys who wouldn’t act without a ten thousand dollar retainer?

    What if women had access to the court system and were able to collect child support, no matter what?

    Since we know that at least 60% of the population live from paycheck to paycheck, we also know that 60% of women cannot access our court system and therefore are denied justice. Single parents are denied justice because they cannot pay for representation in our own cruelly designed system!

    We cannot continue that reality and shouldn’t in fact have that reality. We must put more thought into how women and children access legal systems that are designed to safeguard them.

    This is the other part of the equation that Professor Galloway talks about, when lamenting what we are doing to our children, the female perspective, which is that women don’t have access to a court system that is guarded by $500 an hour attorneys. Women cannot afford to access this system. Because women can’t access courts they are not fairly paid child support. They lose marital assets because they want to protect themselves and their children. We need a dedicated space that allows women access to the legal system that doesn’t steal their children’s financial future.

    Alberts Stoynov with Unsplash

    We deny justice to women and children when we don’t build a means for them to gain safety and security in the legal system. Why do so many women suffer without child support? Why do so many families splinter because of the crushing need for justice?

    I don’t know when it became okay to leave helpless women and children to their own devices, but this society has done this.

    We don’t come back from this injustice until we make it free and easy for women to have access to the family court room. We have to make it possible for them to get child support and a fair split of marital assets with a positive planning system for the future.

  • Compassion,  Fibromyalgia,  It is What it is...,  Management,  Psychology of Life

    I Want To, I Really Do

    I do want to walk as much as you do. Imagine the feeling you get when something important to you is disappointing. You would avoid that disappointment, wouldn’t you? I know I can’t walk very far and every time I try, I am disappointed. I am disappointed because my body lets me down. I am not the capable person I want to be. I am either in horrible pain which comes with a peculiar kind of shutdown of my body, or I can’t breathe. I am completely breathless and struggling for breath. If my blood is burning with adrenalin, I can walk further. The consequences of that activity are not pleasant.

    I am (as is my body, the real culprit) completely unreliable. My energy gets a budget, I savor it when I have it and am in bed when I don’t. Some days I wake up and I can’t function, yesterday, headache and nausea…when I do have energy and feel okay, I’m all in for any activity. I can’t schedule anything and we don’t have a normal schedule. We haven’t been able to pick a day for grocery shopping weekly because I am just that unreliable. One of my ideas is to design a few exercise that I can do quickly without planning so that I can keep up my activity level.

    BTW, none of these things happened overnight. These things occur in peculiar ways as time goes on. It is not as if, one day I suddenly had very bad pain if I stood up. Now, when I am walking and I stop, the pain intensifies badly. It doesn’t matter what the good reason is for my walk, it will always end badly with me struggling to breathe and in awful pain.

    Some days are really painful. I can limp around, but the price of activity is absolute, I will suffer. It’s not a condition that I can take a supplement or even a medication for. The rules are all internal and not subject to interpretation or approval. Post Exertional Malaise

    PEM is a full stop. You cannot function anymore. I experienced it in the times when I refused to stop working. It’s an eclipse of energy. I must lie down and it is the worst experience, from the top of my head, throughout my body to my feet.

    Effects of Exercise on Fibromyalgia patients are not good and that is well documented. COPD same. Yes, you must keep moving, but you do not belong in a gym competing with others.

    Without the nagging of my loved ones, I don’t know if I would ever get exercise. But I do get exercise, not much, and it’s the best I can do.

    At each moment, I am doing the best I possibly can. Unlike the guy next to me, I’m always trying.

    What happened to me? I used to be the most energetic person I knew except when PMS took me down. Otherwise, wow! I was faster than anyone I knew.

    It’s not age,

    it’s my illness and it’s my ability to say no. The more I say yes to people’s needs the sicker I am. I’ll never be better, because the part of me that cannot change lingers here. This is the place where I want to take care of everyone. This is the place where “yes” lingers foolishly trying to control my life.

    I want to say I’m learning to change my behavior. God knows I can be better. But it’s not happening. I am, without a doubt, without hesitation, doing the very best that I can. I promise.