It has been a couple of centuries since feudalism was considered okay. Since when do Americans believe it is okay for entitled rich to place their feet on the back of hard working Americans and tell them to work harder for less so that the profit will make the shareholders happier? It is an old concept, Europe and certainly, Asia were built on the idea that “someone else” had to work and get their hands dirty so that a privileged few could have as much as they wanted.
Another word for feudalism is communism. Yes, yes, centralize the power around a very few people and everyone else lives or starves on the whims of the few in power. That is how communism actually worked, though, not a real definition for communism. We all know what Russia and China has been like: a central regime of power, which was merciless to the common people. For America, that translation is money, money equates to power in America.
I am on this rant because of an article in www.tampabay.com. In the article, which is titled Hey Papa John: Stop whining about Obamacare, the writer Matthew Yglesias veers from the title and tells us that Darden Restaurants does NOT want to insure their employees’ health. Darden owns Olive Garden and Red Lobster and they have decided that in order to get around the healthcare insurance expense they are going to cut their employees hours to 29 hours per week. By cutting employees hours they will have part time employees who are exempt from the health care coverage mandate.
Now let’s just say here, that you are a human being who makes a living as a waiter with Red Lobster; you have sacrificed your personal health, because you have gone for years without healthcare. Your circumstances are that you have a family and your income pays for rent and food. You were hoping that by voting for Barack Obama, you could finally get the health care that your now aging body needs, only to find out that the shareholders of Darden restaurant do not want to lose .09 cents, in order to include you in a healthcare plan. Instead the shareholders have instructed the management staff to cut your hours and make you into a part time employee. How do you feel?
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If I am too Appealing, Then I must Suffer the “Idiot’s Embrace”
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Personally Political
Ack, politics are not my thing. I want to say that I was personally embarrassed by women who were willing to cast votes for the Republican party. As a woman, as a supporter of Planned Parenthood, as a 20 year Healthcare Administrator, I was apalled by the willingness of women to defer to a position of “white male supremacy” (the old ‘I know better than you’). I don’t mean to split the world into bad and good. I just don’t understand a woman agreeing with a politician who states that it is not her right to choose how she treats her body. A couple of weeks ago Marilyn Vos Savant (Parade magazine’s over 200 IQ consultant writer) responded to a question about why people advocate for ridiculous ideas and she reminded us of two realities about being human: one is that if we admit to making a mistake because of wrong thinking – then we are afraid that it will cast our entire life into question. We don’t want to question ourselves at that level. We will also agree with our chosen group’s philosophy (Republican / Democrat) because we want to be a successful member of our group.Still… I’ve got to say that it hurt my heart to see women voting for Republicans. I know that is a bold statement, I know that there are folks who will be angry with me about this statement, I just have to say, that it was a difficult experience for me. It was also quite gratifying to see the biggest offenders get voted out of office. Thank Goodness!
Bruce Says: “I feel that the so called ‘Religious Extremists’ in this country are no better than the Taliban in their treatment of women. I am so thankful that several of our nations elected officials were voted out of office, based on their insane remarks re: rape and a woman’s right to choose. I am hopeful that the American public are more concerned with fairness, humanity, and individual freedoms than ‘ The Economy’.”
I also want to add my academic perspective: health care economists have been doing research on the cost of health care for decades. We are not the only country in the world who has grappled with these difficult issues. There are a few facts which are hardly ever discussed and are nonetheless part of the fabric of this country. For a couple of decades now we have an embarrassingly high infant mortality rate. For the poor in our own country, it compares with third world statistics on infant mortality rate – it is embarrassing that our high infant mortality rate compares with third world countries. Second Fact: for decades now, the predictor for dying of breast cancer has nothing to do with medicine, the predictor for dying of breast cancer is based on whether or not you have insurance. If you have breast cancer and no insurance, you are much more likely to die. Now the third statistic, which is extremely scarey, is the fact that uninsured pediatric trauma victims do not receive the care neccessary to gain a full recovery. There are people in this country that would have us believe that these three populations are somehow responsible for their own lack of medical care. My answer to that is simple: Admit that, in America, we ration health care by depriving it from the poor. This has been an economic fact since the beginning of the study of health care economics. Other countries in this world have come up with workable health care plans for their entire population. I say that America has the best brains, the best technology and certainly enough wealth to take care of its own.
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Become “That Person” and I’ll Leave You Too
“That Person” has been played out in my life. “That Person” has taken many shapes and sizes, yet they are all extremely predictable: this is the one who will always, always be right, and will always, always have a bit of correction for you. This person always explains to you in great detail how you MISunderstood, because, of course “that person” never misunderstands anything. This is also the person who wants to tell you how it is that every bad or unlucky thing that has happened to you is your fault, there is some improvement that you could have made or some way that you could have changed things in order for this disappointment to be improved. They always have an after-the-fact, fixer-upper statement.Oh my, if you do happen to make an error “that person” will make sure to bring it up again and again in excruciating detail, so that you can “learn from the mistake and improve yourself with personal growth.” “That Person” always assumes the Wiser Than Thou stance, and falls over him or herself to give you the benefit of their wisdom so that you might one day, be as wise and all-seeing as they are.
“That Person” will harangue you, trying to get you to agree to their own perception of the universe and their perception is never good for you. Their perception will always include an opinion of you that is “less-than”- or “not-good-enough”.
“That Person” will never cut you a break because their emotions about themselves will not allow it. “That Person” must be holier-than-thou in order to have some self okay-ness. If this person does not “one-up” you, they feel less than. They cannot possibly just “be”.
They are the boss that is full of criticism, your friend who must point out each and every flaw (they are trying to help you ‘grow’), your relative who will never appreciate what you do and must always point out what you have not done…
Therein lies the threat. I have left several of these people behind me, but they keep coming. They never believe me. I always say very clearly “Stop criticizing me, I do not like it.” They either flat-out ignore me, or they give me platitudes about my own well-being. No really, sometimes I look around because I can’t quite believe what people are saying to me. As if “that person” could EVER know what is good for me. So, when I leave them, they are always a bit surprised or mystified, as if I never said anything to warn them about my departure.
Really, if you are “That Person” and you do not have unlimited quantities of cash, watch out, everyone WILL leave you. It is just a matter of time. Being a righteous know-it-all will eventually make you very lonely.
If you want people in your life: acceptance and “being” will keep people close. It may not enhance the size of your ego, but it will certainly enhance the size of your family. You choose.
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Baking Cookies
For as long as I can remember, I have been making great quantities of baked goods (cookies, fudge, candy and pies) every year, at this time, for the holidays. I spent ten years perfecting my chocolate chip cookie recipe and then I changed it some more to make it a healthy cookie. I was going through menopause and the doctors said, “no more white sugar and no more white flour”. So the recipe was updated even again. I still have the original version written on a message pad that I bought in 1986. That’s how serious I have always been about my holiday baking.Well, a couple of years ago, I quit smoking. I am not sure that it was soon enough, but, it is what it is. I was 52… since then, I have been s.t.r.u.g.g.l.i.n.g. with my weight. Suddenly I find myself needing a Ph.D. in nutrition. Recently, I was talking with my daughter-in-law and she expressed a frustration with this very need. If you want to be healthy in today’s America, you must do an e.x.t.r.e.m.e. amount of research and NOT trust anything you see on the food packaging. It really is that difficult to find good food. So my favorite daughter-in-law tells me that she has actually become resentful because food companies make it difficult to just simply go grocery shopping. But I digress…apologies.
This year, I have no little people around to bake for. My grown sons have partners, and everyone seems to want to eschew sugar. I don’t get the warm fuzzy vibes for cookies and holiday sweets locally. My partner and I are working very hard on losing another ten pounds before the holidays. He is going to the gym and I am faithfully walking twice a week and stretching three times a week. We eat tons of vegetables and I make an extreme effort to cook dinners that are less than 500 calories. We quit ice cream, rarely eat bread and finally: the pasta is whole grain. I want you to know that I resisted whole grain pasta for YEARS.
My oldest daughter has been instrumental in our diet transformation. She finally convinced me through a series of (
lectures really) research articles, that food, has indeed changed in the last 30 years. My own observation is that some things are going back to the way they were when my mother was cooking, for example, now my daughter tells me that sugar is the “safest” sweetener (and so the pendulum swings, doesn’t it?).In any case, this year I said to myself “self, don’t bake all of that mess, you don’t want to eat cookies and fudge now, it will just mess up your diet, no one likes that stuff and no one appreciates that stuff.” Well then, here is what happened; I started thinking about my mothers (Patsy and Ella Mae) and their cooking and all of our traditions. I got all nostalgic and then I remembered that my partner’s son-in-law loves home baked goodies. Then I thought about my daughter in Virginia, who doesn’t worry so much about food processing and sugar and she is taking care of 3 boys under the age of 4! Then I thought about posterity. And, of course! Here is the other piece: I love baking and cooking and fooling around in the kitchen. I figure that I can find an audience that will appreciate holiday goodies from my kitchen. I just have to mail them away very quickly so that my partner and I do not gain 5 pounds.
I can’t quit baking yet, I’m just not going to give it up. I will, some day, and maybe even soon, just not today…
The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies:
I do use butter flavor Crisco, for a couple of reasons: today’s margarine has a lot of water in it, so it messes up the recipe. On the other hand, butter melts too quickly in the oven and the cookies come out flat. The Crisco has some hydrogenated oil, but I don’t know how to get around that flaw yet. So here it is: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. 1&3/4 cups of unbleached whole wheat organic flour 1/2 cup of unbleached white flour (needed for recipe stability) 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt Mix in large bowl – I use a fork to stir the dry ingredients briskly In another bowl, cream together 1 stick of butter flavor Crisco with 1 cup of hard packed brown sugar and 1/2 cup of regular white sugar Mix in 2 eggs with the beater and 1&1/2 teaspoon of vanilla Blend / mix the two bowls together into whichever bowl is the biggest. Add your chocolate chips, 12 ounces is = to 2 cups, I also add 1 cup of chopped walnuts. Some folks do not like nuts in their cookies, you can take half of the dough out and add walnuts to just that half. It usually takes about 12 minutes for the cookies to be done, I look for a tan crown on the top of the cookie. I now use parchment paper (which I love) for baking cookies, well worth skipping the cookie sheet clean up. 25 years ago, I invested in a Revereware stainless steel cookie sheet (no aluminum), it has served me very well. If you are going to bake, it is worth the investment.I hope that however you decide to celebrate, that it makes you happy and fills your heart with joy.
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Don’t Ever Underestimate the Power of a Loving Moment
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I Am Sure Everyone Else Knew This…
There is a different quality to life if you are not desperately working on achievement, or worse yet, over-achievement. There is a totally different experience of time that is available only to those who have time. I used to get very frustrated by unemployed folks who spend a lot of time on FaceBook. I wasn’t frustrated for any reason except that they were frustrated by me. I get invitations to play something or the other and there is just no way that I will get to that activity. There has never been enough time in my life.Here it is: there is a thoughtfulness, thoroughness and completeness available to those lucky people who have time to dedicate themselves to the object of their desire…
I have never found this to be the case in my life and now that I have discovered this new possibility (called time), I am thrilled and amazed. I have always been one without enough time. I always prioritized my activities, yet in retrospect, with my new-found wisdom about time, I can see that prioritization falls very short of the individual goal-making.
Shockingly, I have relentlessly lectured others about these concepts. I explained to my daughters and daughters-in-law that life energy is finite and you must make decisions about where you want to spend your life energy! I didn’t know that I was talking about TIME. To do a thing well, one must have time to do it. It takes time to bring those qualities to the object of your desire: thoughtfulness, thoroughness and completion.
Isn’t everything done better with those qualities afforded to it? So there it is, the rub, the relentless pursuit of achievements and the time it takes to actually accomplish them. It is the paradox of modern times, if you pursue accomplishment, you become busy, making it difficult to have accomplishment.
Here I am, playing in the middle. I currently have some time, which I do not want to lose, it’s wonderful. However, I would like to achieve a few things…
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The Power of We Begins at Home
I was very happy to hear that Blog Action Day 2012 is about The Power of We. I couldn’t help but think that the most important “Power of We” begins in our own heart and in our own home. The micro level of we is where it all must start. Exclusivity cannot exist within the power of we. Power of we requires a new value, a newly unified belief system: Inclusivity.In order for us to begin our process, we must be personally aware of our tendency, either culturally or within our belief system, to be exclusive. Exclusivity gives us what sociologists call “belongingness” and while this is a very good thing – it will not help us with the Power of WE.
We need each other for all that there is to be human.
If you are inclusive, it is much more difficult for you to cheat and steal from others. If you are inclusive, you realize that your own well being is as important as the person who is beside you. If you were to preface your thought and activity with the concept of we; you would find a remarkable change coming over your life. By acknowledging the importance and the value of others, you bring a new energy to every encounter. That energy transforms your encounter into a process that benefits everyone rather than just one. It takes faith and diligence to give power to inclusivity, yet it is the way for making a future for everyone.
As we deal with the awfulness of the “one percenters” and those who have tricked and cheated the world in order to gain for themselves, we can know beyond a shadow of doubt that the “power of we” will prevail.
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I Do Not Wish to be Political, But…
I watched the vice-presidential debate this week between Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. I woke up this morning (two days later) feeling angry and here is why: forget about the idea that a white man (Paul Ryan) believes that he can tell me whether or not I can have an abortion, forget that that issue is in the very forefront of this presidential battle. I am unbelievably disappointed that we are not saying more about the awfulness of war. Throughout the 20th century our leaders have taken us to war. For decades now, we are the most heavily armed country in the world. In any serious fight, the United States of America, is completely superior in weaponry.Yet, we, as a nation, continue to send our young men into the line of fire. If we believe so much in the sanctity of human life, that some declare that “life begins at conception and therefore abortion is murder”, then how do we, these same such people that call ourselves Americans, then send an 18 year old man into a war that we cannot articulate a reason for?
Any reasoning person would think we are insane. Our politicians (thank God, not all of them) want to control women’s bodies and make sure that every woman who makes a mistake with a man MUST give birth to an unwanted child and yet these same people will mandate a war that kills and maims our young men and it just doesn’t make any sense.
As a nation, we have to decide to call it, one way or another. Do we value human life? If so, how can a fetus have a more viable place among us than our 18 year old sons and daughters?
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If You Miss Someone That You Love Dearly
At least once a week, when you think about missing your loved one, you must stop everything that you are doing and let them know that you miss them and love them. If you have more than one “missed one”, that is okay! At least once a week, remind one of your loved ones how much you love them. You will feel more connected in your heart and your loved one will too.Too often, we are too busy to let people know how much we care about them. By making a weekly commitment, we can keep our love energetic and make sure that our loved ones feel our love.