All of that tradition has helped us through all of the change we’ve been weathering for the last several years. You can do all sorts of new and daring things if you know that you can go home and eat turkey in November, every November, forever and ever:] Anyway, back to our home, our kitchen, during the holidays: Tuesday night at the grocery store, Rhea tells me “I’ve got a new recipe for green bean casserole, it’s on my iphone, it is from Rick’s mom and there’s no cheddar cheese, Mom, we’re buying American cheese.” Me, “What, how can that be, why are you changing? American cheese, who uses American cheese on a casserole?” In my head I say to myself, okay, my 30 year old daughter’s husband wants to be included in some way to this long standing tradition. I can’t argue about this, I can’t have my feelings hurt, this is their Thanksgiving too. Besides, my family kind-of crowds things. My family will run right over what people want if it doesn’t fit how we do things. Okay – so different green bean casserole recipe – we try something new. Later at the grocery store, I say: “Rhea, I think we’re too late, the store is out of frozen green beans.” “Mom, why are you being like that, the french cut green beans are right here.” “Okay baby.” and off we go to check out with all of our ingredients for Thursday’s feast.
My son-in-law also wants to contribute to cooking by frying the turkey. Whoa, this is a big change, another big change! Alright, alright. We’ll make stove top stuffing, literally and figuratively. My daughter’s townhouse is a very comfy place, it is two story and we all take off our shoes when we get into the front door. My 18 month old grandson Jaxsun loves to try on shoes, and looky here, by the front door is a dozen pairs of shoes! You can imagine what happens to all of those pairs of shoes in the course of a day…
So here we are Thanksgiving morning and because we have so much to say to each other and because I travel to be with my daughters, their sons and the fathers of their sons – we start slowly. We move towards the kitchen slowly, and of course, breakfast and lunch becomes one meal and we feed the babies and we talk some more. Finally the cooking begins, the kitchen is only 3 feet wide and there are shoes scattered the length of the floor (we know why). The babies have slept by now, so there is no chance of continued slumber. Rhea’s husband is working on the deep fryer, which is out back, while Jaxsun’s father gathers things for us that we need in the kitchen – and of course, chases Jaxsun back and forth through the house. Rhea says “who makes the potatoes?” Jo says “I do, I always do.” In the way that my memory will not retain specifics, but will retain a feeling, I think, yes Johanna is responsible for flavor, which is why she always makes the gravy too. The three of us are in the kitchen, each of us with a piece of the meal to make. Rhea has decided to set a nice table for her first at home Thanksgiving meal. There is much to do. As I prep for the crescent rolls, Rhea begins her green bean casserole recipe, I have finished boiling the red potatoes, so Johanna starts on the mashing.
I pull the baked sweet potatoes from the oven, Rhea says: “Mom, you said they were going with marshmallows on top.” I was thinking of just putting the marshmallows on top of the plain baked sweet potatoes, well why not? Everything else is changing, why not the sweet potatoes? Jo says “Mom let me make some reduced sugar for the sweet potatoes.” “What is reduced sugar, Jo?” “Mom! I’ll just cook and mix some sugar and butter for a sweet potato glaze.” Rhea’s husband is now in the kitchen with the video camera, so now there are four of us and a baby in a 3 foot wide room with shoes all over the floor, “Jaxun!”
So now Rhea gets upset because the green bean casserole recipe calls for canned green beans and I have to ask “who uses canned green beans for anything?” and everyone ignores me – for good reason – I can be very righteous about food and nutrition. Rhea “whines” that she cannot translate our frozen green beans into canned green beans, Jo soothingly takes the frozen green beans out of the freezer to show Rhea the size and to tell her that the casserole will be alright. In the mean time Johanna makes the gravy with self rising flour, which makes it “poufy” and difficult to stir. Now it is my turn to sooth, though Johanna is expert at fixing. Rhea calls her the Macgyver of food and the kitchen. Give Johanna a few tools and she can make a meal out of anything!
There was something special about this Thanksgiving. I think it had to do with the shared responsibility for the meal. I think it had to do with the light heartedness of the participants and the intimacy of our relationships. It didn’t hurt to have funny cuddly babies around too. Change can be good. And really, the recipes can be different too. There really is nothing boring about cooking, by the way, you just need people to add flavor, that’s all.
