Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash
Who are These People? And What are they Thinking?
They take advantage of anyone and everyone to serve their own needs. They do damage to people in order to be sexually satisfied. In their own minds they are doing something that is quite right. How? How do they justify raping people, taking advantage of vulnerabilities in others, in order to have their own pleasure? What do these people say to themselves?
Do these people say to themselves “I am better than her, I have so much more money and she is just a peasant, why shouldn’t I take her body for myself?” or “I am better than him, he is a busboy, I am a wealthy actor, why shouldn’t I satisfy my own needs with his body?”
And for the rapists who buy children, what do they say to themselves? “I have bought and paid for this body, it is only an object for my pleasure.” Or, “I had sex when I was ten years old, there is no reason why I can’t have sex with this ten year old girl.”
Or perhaps there is no awareness, nor conversation, maybe it is just animalistic instinct with no intellect to intervene. Do people turn off their consciousness in order to perform these heinous acts on others?
Each of the accused profess innocence loudly and voraciously. The victim can have a video recording of the rape and still the perpetrator claims innocence. How is this the norm for humans? Depraved sexuality without consequence?
Why aren’t good people more capable of stopping these activities? Recent investigation into the Catholic church revealed staggering numbers of priests who have been accused by the faithful. How, why and who?
Every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted.
- On average, there are 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States.1
- Ages 12-34 are the highest risk years for rape and sexual assault.3
Studies by David Finkelhor, Director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center, show that:
- 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse;
- Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization Survey, 2012-2016 (2017).
- i. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sex Offenses and Offenders (1997); ii. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Crimes Against the Elderly, 2003-2013 (2014).
- Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sex Offenses and Offenders (1997).
Who is perpetrating these crimes? How do they believe that it is okay to sexually assault others? Do I know any of these perpetrators? Do they work at the 7-11, or perhaps at the dry-cleaners? Was my doctor a rapist? Have I met these perpetrators? The chances are that yes, I have met many of these perpetrators. Most certainly, I have met the victims…
Who are these people? Who are the people who believe that it is ok to have sex with an unwilling participant, or worse yet, someone incapable of giving consent? Who do you have to be, to purchase child pornography? Who do you have to be, to have sex with a woman who is unconscious? Who do you have to be, to take advantage of a drunk bus boy?
What will it take to stop these criminals from acting? As a society, what do we need to do to stop sexual assaults from occurring every 98 seconds?
We must keep talking about sexual assault, when someone reports, listen and believe. Support assault survivors with kindness and appropriate resources. When survivors must testify, make it safe for the survivor.
We must punish sexual assaulters to the fullest extent of the law.
What we must do, if we really want to address this issue is to work hard for economic equality. People who can afford attorneys, people who can afford life, are less likely to suffer abuse, because no one will abuse someone who can strike back. No one will abuse someone equal to them. Currently, those who are abused are the vulnerable and the weak. Those who cannot strike back, those who cannot speak for themselves, they are the sexually abused.
It is because of this, that we must make victims equal in power to their perpetrators. We must give victims, equal say and the power to fight back.
We must also take away raw authority. There is no reason to teach children that they must obey authority. By teaching children in this way, we open them to the worst of vulnerabilities and that is to teach them to agree with any who may have authority. We don’t want a society based on these concepts. We want a society where reasoned discussion can take place and children are taught to think for themselves. We don’t want our children following the instructions of the Catholic priest, the teacher, the police man, unless those instructions make sense. We must ensure that our children respect their own bodies and respect their own thinking.
And what about the adult vulnerable, those who have less strength, or less money and power? How do we rid ourselves of those who would assault them? How do we get men to stop drugging and raping women? What are these men saying to themselves? “She deserves this, for not talking to me.” What are these men saying to each other after they have assaulted a woman? “Way to go, I can rape girls too.”
I am encouraged that brave people are finally talking about the assaults and taking perpetrators to court for their actions. I am encouraged that we are finally talking about sexual assault in the open. I am relieved that we have such a powerful tool as DNA to stop attackers from repeating rapes over and over again. DNA gives us the power to stop the serial rapist from being successful.
Lastly and finally, we must change the conversation. Whatever it is that the rapist or the pedophile is telling him or herself has to be changed. We must have a human conversation that says it is never okay to sexually assault another human being. And for those that are incapable of joining the conversation, those who cannot intellectually reason, we must enforce the means necessary to protect the innocent from them. We must ensure that people are not damaged by the deranged or mentally ill.
Our human conversation must be clear and must be universal and it must state unequivocally that all humans have the right to protect their own body. This right is unquestionable, whether a person has the strength, the power or the money, does not matter, each person has the right to their own body and the safety of same.