Why I Don’t Want to Change

In 1992 – 3, I discovered the magic of direct deposit.  After standing in a bank teller line on countless occasions, in which I would count the seconds between each customer so that I could approximate the amount of time that I would be stuck in line, (multiply the seconds X the customers / divided by the number of tellers)  I never looked back from the miracle of direct deposit.  I also never changed credit unions, why risk it?  The confusion of a new checking account, a new Master Card, why take the chance to change?

Over the years, I’ve moved, divorced, grown kids up – but the trusty old bank account stayed the same, and so did the direct deposit.  That credit union did right by me too.  All of my cars – in those intervening years – went through the credit union.  Once during a very difficult storm in my life, the credit union lent a thousand dollars to me – and trust me – it did the trick.

I’m moving, and I just moved and I just moved – yes – 3 times in 18 months.  Every time I make this kind of change, I plummet myself into a myriad of scary experiences.  It’s just part of the deal right now.

For good reason I had to cancel the Master Card yesterday, Dish Network jerked an unauthorized and inappropriate $200.00 out of my checking account 2 days before Christmas.  Whoa.  So, when I discussed this with my bank, they advised me to cancel the card that goes with the checking account.  Okay.  Well yesterday I realized that I had no debit/credit card and in my new location, I had no idea where my credit union was located.  Uh, no money.

Being the cosmopolitan woman that I am I set out for a previously located credit union service center this morning.  The service center does not open on Wednesday until 10 am.  Uh, I’ve got to get to work.  So being the cosmopolitan woman that I am I search on the internet, using zip codes and mapquest and all of my other nifty tools and I locate another credit union service center.  I get into the car, drive into an unknown area and…Uh, it moved.  It no longer exists.  So here is what I am thinking, it’s the change that is causing all of this confusion, being lost and now anxiety… A simple task like retrieving cash from my checking account has become a difficult half day chore, that still has no results, no outcome, no achieved goal.

It feels kind of like how I feel when I try anything for the first time.  There is this energy in my stomach that feels like it is squeezing me.  And even though the squeezed feeling is in my tummy, I feel like I can’t breathe.  There is a part of me that is panicked, and a part of me that is just frustrated.  I start thinking ridiculous stuff, like I have to drive 40 miles just to get to A credit union, or maybe I’ll never find a credit union again!  This does not feel like I normally feel about the credit union…Normally, the credit union is like the rock of Gibraltar, it is there, the money is there and anywhere at any time it can be accessed, managed and used: warm and fuzzy.

Alright, so here we are on our third attempt at finding a credit union and therefore accessing the cash…I realize that part of the problem is that in my new location I do not know the “location rules” like the fact that on Wednesday, we don’t open til 10 am.  It’s like a new relationship, you don’t know the rules of the relationship until you get into the relationship and make up the rules together.  So, in a new relationship you can have all of the things that I am having this morning, false starts, disappointments, anxiety and even panic.

I finally locate a credit union that I can get to quickly, I memorize the rules (they close at 4:15pm) and I am actually able to retrieve my cash.  And this is what I think: I don’t like change, I think I would like it if I never moved again and I never want to try another relationship and I definitely will never-ever change banks.