A Tribute To My Staff

Blame it on my training as a counselor, or call me a wuss, either way, I’m going to say it in a note.  It’s time for me to go, and it’s true, I’m not exactly sure why.  I just KNOW it’s time.  The last four weeks have been painful – to say the least; I’ve often described it as awful.  I am thinking that the pain is worthwhile and it may sound crazy but let me tell you why.  It is my philosophy that we can love as deeply as we are capable of bearing the pain that goes with that love.  It’s like this: love is a joy with an equal capacity for hurt.

My pain brings me back to all of the little moments of joy that I have had with my staff.  I can hardly believe that we could stay together so long.  I’ve even wondered how it is that we became so close over the years – and of course – I have a philosophy about that as well!  As a team we all believe in the same thing: the resiliency and hope of the human condition.  I think that we have suffered many tragedies together and that has made us close.  We are lucky, because we have had enough triumphs to keep us balanced and committed to our mutual cause.

I can recall running down the hallway on 26th Street after announcing to Brian that he wasn’t getting paid because he didn’t turn in his time sheet.  I want you to know that Brian actually chased me.  I was laughing so hard I was out of breath.

We’ve been through alot together.  Our patients passed away, sometimes even when their life was going great and there was no reason for the tragedy.  Those deaths seemed to hurt the worst.  We all celebrated when we could keep a new mother from using drugs and she gave birth to a full-term baby.  We all celebrated when our patients could leave us, healthy and moving forward.  We talked, we argued and we forgave each other for being republicans…Jon.

That’s really what it’s all been about for me, sharing tragedies and triumphs, being together long enough that we could tell each other the truth and appreciating the depth of our contribution to making life and lives better.  We stand between the craziness of the world and our patients.  We support and care for our patients and 99 times out of 100, we are the only ones who stand for our patients. 

I can’t begin to tell you how much I have learned from you and benefited from being with you.

Each of you deserves a hug and a smile.  Each of you deserves acknowledgement for the great work that you have dedicated yourself to.  I want you to know that I just could NOT say goodbye anymore, it was too painful.  I also hope that you will remember why it is so painful – because we got to share a couple of moments in time and were able to touch each other’s spirit.  I can’t ask for anything more from a relationship than that.