Challenges with Acceptance

(12/18/13) Each time I have an awareness about something that is unfair, or about bad or uncaring behavior that is aimed at me, I get angry and it takes me awhile to get over it.  I want someone(!) to recognize how I have been wronged by people.  I want someone to see the hardship that I am going through.

I have become aware of this need to have someone be aware and to sympathize with me over every single little hardship that I have in my life.  I want to remember so that when someone asks me for something, I can say – no, no, you did this to me!  I will not help you or sympathize, but for real, you did bad first, so now I am entitled to do bad for you.

 I want a new existence that does not require me to feel upset about perceived unfairness.

(1/14/14) I want an equanimity that allows me to accept – in real time – what is actually occurring.  It may not be alright, it may not be fair, it may be insensitive, yet I do not wish to spend time feeling upset, angry and hurt.  These are things that challenge me.