Speaking as a Parent

Mothers are Retarded (In a Good Way)

My granddaughter  made her entrance on Thursday night.  On Friday morning, my husband said “I’ll take you for breakfast on the way to the hospital.”  Nope, I don’t want breakfast, I want to go look at my new granddaughter, so we go.  We go to the hospital and I spend a couple of hours staring at my son with his new infant.  I am completely entranced.

Today, my son tells me that his infant daughter could not come home from the hospital, she has colic.  I ask about Samantha (his partner), and sure enough, as I suspected, she did not leave her daughter at the hospital.  My son says in current colloquialism “yeah Sam is hanging out at the hospital with Sophia.”  Of course Sam will not leave her daughter.  She has done what millions of women do – since the dawn of time.  She instantly and completely fell in love with her daughter.  It is something that just happens.  It does not happen 100% of the time, but thank God it does happen 99% of the time.

Being a mother is almost completely retarded, because you can spend hours, and then days just staring at your child.  You can spend pages and pages of dialogue describing every little thing that your child does.  It is a fascination that does not end.  Your child will provoke every emotion known to humans, in the most intense possibilities that you can imagine (think pain to the nth degree).  And still…even though we know these things, we will risk everything and become parents, and it is retarded, it really is.

So it has begun again and I thank God, that once again it has happened.  My granddaughter’s mother is retarded, she is in love with her daughter and that means that my granddaughter gets what she deserves: retarded love.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.