Written by this truly unusual person
Trying to make positive changes everyday and not be discouraged by my short comings or past mistakes. I am not perfect. I do not have all the answers. I am not smarter than everyone else. Sometimes humility comes in the form of failure. I’m not afraid of that.
I ask forgiveness from all those I have hurt. Anyone I lied to. Anyone I made feel insignificant or passed over. I am truly sorry. You deserved better.
The saying goes that people don’t change. That people are always going to be whatever they are. I say no. I decide. I decide who I am. How I act. What I think. How I feel. I control and am accountable for everything I say and do. Whether that be my triumphs, or my defeats.
You can take me as I am, but expect more from me. Expect better. Believe that there is something more to me on the inside then where I came from and what I was. Expect me to be a man of principles. A man of honesty. A man of right action. That’s the man I want to be. That’s what you deserved before. That’s the man you deserve now. Maybe I have always been doing it for the wrong reasons. Maybe I was doing it for you when I should have been doing it for me. Maybe it was the other way around. Maybe it was both.
I do know I’m not Superman. I’m not a hero. I’m not a villain. I am NOT a monster. I’m a human being, with vices and skeletons. I’m a man who has loved, and lost. With hopes and dreams. With fears and regrets. With needs and wants.I am a man who has won it all, and lost everything.
And maybe I do fail. And maybe I never make it to the man that I was supposed to be. I mean, let’s face it, many never make it. Many just are who they are with no personal convictions of any kind. With nothing to show for it, and having sacrificed nothing to attempt anything more than mediocrity. What if I can’t make that sacrifice? What if it all comes down to the wire, and I can’t finish what I started? What if I’m all talk? What if I really am a coward? Maybe in the end I just run out of time. Maybe I never make it.
But I don’t think so.There is still time for me to be that man. The one I’m going to need to be to get where I’m going. The one I need to know is really in here somewhere. Don’t give up on me. There is still time. I hope.
