Here is the question: What about when you are simply with-holding your truth from being expressed? I am not speaking about lame thoughts, such as “your hair is ugly”. That is not what I refer to when I speak of with-holds. What I am speaking of, is an on-going truth that I hold back from you. This can be many things and many types of things. One good example is when an addict with-holds the addiction from loved ones. One clear violation is when a married man or woman, becomes intimate with someone who is not their partner. Definition of intimate: of a very personal or private nature; marked by very close association or contact. Intimate, in no way implies a sexual act, but it can still imply cheating between partners.
It does not have to be that complicated, it can be as simple as I don’t want you to know something important about me until I am sure that you will accept me unconditionally. Perhaps, I never tell you this important thing about me. The price of this with-holding of information is that now there is space between us, we are not close. Our intimacy is now in question.
Feeling that space between us is very uncomfortable. Sometimes good friends will separate until both can forget that painful thinking that they just cannot share with each other. Families usually cannot do that, they cannot separate to make space for difficult thoughts and discussions to be forgotten, they must communicate.
Being close with anyone is not possible if there are untruths between you because untruths create space. That is the price you pay for dishonesty, your dearest loves are very far away.
