• Capitalism,  Congress,  Democrats,  Politics,  World Affairs

    Energy and Power Costs will Triple in the Next 5 Years

    Are you currently paying $150 per month for electricity? Prepare yourself to pay $450 per month. The sad fact about our president is that he is a conman and a grifter, but that’s not unusual in the United States. That truth leaves him ignorant in so many areas. This is the land where senators and congressmen alike have sold out all Americans to capitalism, often ignorant of the consequences of their actions. But I digress…

    There are three factors that are creating a perfect storm in the bid for electricity and energy.

    JB Collection

    1. AI is in a race currently using almost 5% of all U.S. electricity.

    2. Trump has sold our available and unavailable energy, (example liquified natural gas LNG) to the European union.

    3. Trump and his team have shut down alternative sources of energy. Under review is windmill sourced energy.

    Let’s talk about why 2 and 3 are occurring.

    Trump’s rush to win the Tariff war had him signing a deal with Europe. And America can’t fulfil the deal without serious changes to our capacity in the oil and gas industries. This will make Europe a serious competitor of the American people trying to heat or cool their homes.

    Trump (as is the Congress) is invested in all of the old ways to produce energy: oil, gas and coal. While those industries pay off our elected officials, they are now working hard to ensure that they have no competition. Wind and sun energy are huge competitors of the old guard. While the new industries are working hard to get senate and congressional support for their products, it is very difficult if not impossible in Trump’s administration. We don’t know why except to comment that oil has always been a friend of Trump’s. Rex Tillerson, former CEO of ExxonMobil served as Trump’s Secretary of State during his first term. Chris Wright, another CEO in the oil and gas industry is the current Secretary of Energy.

    Ironically, some of the top producers of wind energy are red states that received substantial grants from the Biden administration to scale up their industries. According to Climate News, a new bill passed by our congress, “reduced or eliminated many of the tax incentives offered to renewable energy projects.”

    Now we circle back to item #1 which is AI. If you don’t realize it, let me tell you that AI is out of control. No legislation has been effectively implemented. If the current usage is 5% of energy consumption nationally with an increase to at least 12% by 2030, how will Mr. & Mrs. Smith compete? How will the town of Podunk, USA compete?

    There is no comprehensive Federal law governing AI or data centers in the United States. There are some environmental protections setup regarding data centers that are not often enforced.

    Americans, please consider your plan if your electricity costs double and then triple? Will you address Congress, will you assemble and march on Washington? It’s worth thinking about and it’s worth making a plan, because it’s coming.

  • Capitalism,  Congress,  Democrats,  Health Care,  Republicans

    An Open Letter to Democratic “Leadership” Please just stop, just stop. Your relentless need for just 3 more dollars is falling on deaf ears.

    You are not – in any way – doing anything for the American people

    First, I did NOT give you permission to bombard my phone. How dare you? I am so sick of your daily pleas for money, it’s become disgusting.

    I don’t respect you, I don’t respect the job you are doing and I won’t be donating any more.

    I send monthly checks to AOC and Bernie Sanders along with EarthJustice, and for each donation I receive twenty texts from you – Democrats – asking for more.

    AOC and Bernie register as Democrats, but they are much greater than Democrats. They are humans fighting for freedom, sacrificing for the common good and making sure that there is a goal. They have goals that I appreciate like Universal Healthcare. You see, because I am sick. So, every time there is a change in healthcare policy at the national legislative level, I immediately know and oftentimes I know because of my checking account. Almost always it costs me more money.

    The Republicans have punished my household nonstop for decades. They are legislating my household into poverty. How you ask? Because I am sick and disabled. I am now retired, but I have been on disability payments since 2018.

    I am keenly aware of what the various legislations are doing to my household. But I digress.

    Stop texting me! Stop pretending like you have a party, you don’t. If all your leadership can produce is a “strongly worded letter”, then you are doomed.

    I won’t follow Democrats, even though I am a registered Democrat. I am in the party of the people – whatever that is.

  • Baby Boomers,  Capitalism,  Congress,  Medicare,  Politics,  Psychology of Life

    Vaccinations are about to be “Hard to Get”

    Between 2020 and 2023, the COVID-19 pandemic claimed the lives of 941,425 Americans over the age of 65. These deaths were not part of the expected mortality rates — they were above and beyond what we would normally see in this age group.

    Each of these individuals was a parent, a grandparent, a neighbor, a friend. The emotional toll on families and communities is immeasurable. But there’s another side of this tragedy that isn’t often discussed — the financial impact on Social Security.

    The average monthly Social Security benefit for a retiree is approximately $1,999.97. Multiply that by the number of seniors we lost, and you arrive at a shocking figure: $1.89 billion less paid out every month. That’s a total reduction of $22.7 billion per year in Social Security disbursements. These savings are not the result of policy or reform — they’re the result of mass loss of life.

    And yet, even with these reduced outlays, we’re repeatedly told that Social Security is on the brink of collapse. While we must take the long-term health of the program seriously, it’s important to question the narrative that Social Security is irreparably broken. Recent years have brought unexpected relief to the system, albeit at a devastating human cost.

    We can’t exaggerate the importance of the covid vaccine in ending this awful pandemic.

    Concerning is the growing political opposition to vaccines. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the current United States Secretary of Health and Human Services, has repeatedly voiced distrust of vaccines, including those that have saved millions of lives during the pandemic.

    This raises an urgent question: What happens if someone like RFK Jr. who has been given this office enacts policy based on personal vaccine skepticism? Medicare decides which vaccines to pay for primarily based on recommendations from the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP). RFK Jr. has replaced this Advisory Committee with the vaccine skeptical.

    Here’s one possible outcome: Medicare and Medicaid could stop paying for vaccines, making them inaccessible to the very people who need them most. In my own town, a flu shot costs $135 if you purchase out of pocket. Many seniors and low-income families simply cannot afford that. Vaccination has never just been a personal choice — it’s a public health strategy. And policy decisions that undermine access could result in more preventable deaths, more strain on our healthcare system, and more unnecessary grief.

    We must be able to talk about difficult truths. The Social Security system is not untouched by the pandemic — it has benefited financially from the loss of its recipients. And the future health of our elderly population is under threat if vaccine access is politicized or stripped away. But it’s not just the elderly, it’s anyone who benefits from protection from diseases, dangerous diseases that can cost you your life.

  • Decision Making,  Psychology of Life,  Womens Issues

    My Darling Woman

    Woman is ready for her wedding.
    JB Collection

    You don’t have to ask if it’s okay to protect your wealth against a “philandering or spendthrift husband”.

    You don’t have to ask for advice about “should you” leave an abusive boyfriend.

    You don’t have to pretend that your child doesn’t know that your husband: uses drugs, cheats, beats you or verbally abuses you, or all of the above. Your child knows it all, trust me, your child knows what happens at home.

    My darling woman, you don’t have to hope that life will get better. You can make it better with different decisions.

    Young woman holds a red-headed toddler.
    JB Collection

    You don’t have to think that you could do better unless you really can do better. Only you know that, no one else knows that. You are the one who determines whether you do well or not.

    You do not have to hear another’s judgment and take it as your own. You don’t, judgment is not real, it is just another’s thoughts. Leave it at that. It’s just someone else’s thoughts.

    My darling woman, you are powerful, strong and beautiful. You don’t need manmade accoutrements to prove that, at all. No amount of hair styling, make up and perfect clothing makes you better.

    Who you are is not the subject of another’s thinking, it is the subject of your own thinking.

    My darling woman, do for yourself what no one has done for you in quite some time. Give yourself compassion. That means to reach out and express love and understanding for yourself.

    Young blond woman kisses a tow headed toddler.
    JB Collection

    Act on your compassion: have a cookie and take a nap.

    My darling woman, you are all you need. Don’t be afraid of loneliness, instead be afraid of never making your own decisions to live your own life.

    Women

    Empowerment

    Decision Making

    Life Decisions

    Decisions

  • Human Evolution,  Justice, the Human Construct,  Philosophy,  Politics,  World Affairs

    How Do I Justify Harming Behavior?

    Part of my job, for at least 25 years, was instruction and training about my profession. As a Certified Addiction Professional (CAP), my work was to educate staff, patients and the public.

    My organization had a contract with the Department of Corrections (DOC). Each Spring our residential program patients spent an entire day with instructors learning about integrity, addictions and living in the world as a sober person.

    For whatever reason, that Spring, my staff (from the outpatient program) and I were dealing with a lot of victims of violence, both domestic and public. Domestic violence was on my mind.

    The DOC in-patient program asked me to come and present to their program. I didn’t realize that this DOC program was 100% male. My presentation was on how to stop violence in your lives, either as a victim or as a perpetrator. As the patients got involved in the discussion, we got into this idea about large people hitting people that are smaller than they are. I expressed an opinion that in general, it is a situation that should be avoided. Large people have no business hitting and pushing smaller people. We then talked about the concept of anger and whether or not anger was a reason and justification to push violence on another person.

    As one, this crowd of approximately 100 men, shut down. They were done with my instruction regardless of whether I was done with my instruction. To this day, I don’t know what the trigger was. I assume it was the concept that our feelings (anger) had to be separated from our actions (violence). I was never invited back to the all day in-service. I must point out that the program managers were also male.

    WOKANDAPIX on Pixabay

    I have been thinking hard about this incident as I watch ICE agents harshly and violently push and hurt people who are much smaller than they are. ICE agents do not appear to have remorse for their own violent behavior.

    ICE agents are having a conversation with themselves that gives them a reason to be hurtful and to inflict pain and anguish on others. Sometimes, I wonder what this conversation is? I am talking to myself and I have to justify my behavior, what do I say to myself? “These brown people are criminals and blood suckers.” “These people steal from the economy and that money comes directly from me, I’m getting rid of them!” Or do they go with the white supremist story: “I’m so much better than a brown person, get rid of these people, they belong on the bottom of the pile anyway.” In the face of your own violence, do you tell yourself that you are still a good person? Do you say “this is a job, I’m not responsible for what happens to the brown people?” Or even worse is the objectification of these humans, perhaps you decide that they aren’t really humans, you call them something else. This is another way to justify hurting humans.

    What do you say to make it okay to hurt, maim or kill another human being? I’m not talking about war here. I’m talking about storming into someone’s home, declaring that person a criminal and then beating back their wife and children. Then comes the transport of the immigrant “criminal” and the housing in horrible conditions. As a human being, how are you okay with putting another person in inhumane conditions without at least allowing that person to speak for themselves in front of a judge?

    Again, the concept that feelings are not justification for actions. Violence and hurting other human beings is never okay. Please don’t tell me that war has always been around and so therefore will always be around. I don’t believe that. For tens of thousands of years humans did not brush their hair or bathe. That changed. Violence can go the way of the filthy human. That means to disappear into the ether.

  • Human Evolution,  Love and Relationships,  Personal Growth,  Philosophy,  Self Responsibility

    Beliefs, Thoughts, Feelings

    A friend and I were discussing that “thoughts create experiences” statement. My friend loves “The Secret” and works hard on a daily basis to keep his thoughts positive and upbeat. My friend says “feelings always create thoughts” and I keep arguing, no “thoughts create feelings”.

    My belief is that it’s a circle, that is very serious business for how anyone experiences life. Belief is the operative word here. Because before thoughts, you have the beliefs. Research tells us that we will dismiss any thoughts or experiences that don’t align with personal beliefs. That means that no matter what is put before us we stay on one track.

    Note: That is a reason for college and continued education. When in college you can’t help but come into contact with varying belief systems that do not align with your own. At that age, we can be open to those differing beliefs and develop flexibility that can serve us in the future.

    Belief systems are ways that humans create feelings of security. Beliefs are thoughts that can be counted on. If a belief is supported by life then the belief and the structure created by the belief is congruent. If life does not support the belief and the structure then flexibility can allow for productive change and an adjustment to the beliefs. This will allow continued happiness. Inflexibility is a structure that creates frustration and anguish. Just talk with any couple who believes in marriage and yet finds themselves in the unbelievable struggle called divorce.

    The circle is belief, thought, feeling, experience, belief, thought, feeling and experience. Belief creates the thinking and the feeling and the belief will always create thinking and feeling that aligns with itself. Beliefs are like pigs eating at a trough, don’t get in the way and don’t try to make them stop. It is only when disaster strikes that beliefs will open to examination.

    A friend of mine was telling me about her and her daughter’s conversations with an attorney. My friend’s daughter was stuck in another state because she had a child with a man who lived in that state. The laws are quite clear about leaving the state with a child without the parent’s permission.

     On their last phone call with the attorney, my friend heard quite clearly from the attorney “since he is not paying child support, nor seeing the child regularly, we can definitely see a way to argue within the court that the child will be better off if the mother is allowed to move home.” When her and her daughter consulted each other after the phone call, her daughter told her, “I told you mom, there is no way that I can move home, I simply won’t ever be able to leave this state until my son is 18.” My friend was so surprised that she could barely breathe. What she realized was that her daughter did not want to come home, she believed that she was better off where she was. Her daughter’s belief allowed her to hear exactly what she needed to hear to reinforce her belief and that was all. It could have been vice versa and my friend only heard what she wanted to hear, but the point of the story is that the belief creates the thinking and the experience. Both women were hurt and upset by the conversations.

    The most important point of the entire discussion is that we learn how to discern a belief within our thinking. Learning how to tell the difference between thinking the same old things and seeing something new is a critical skill for adulting. We need to know when we are clinging to something that no longer exists (a marriage, or a job). We need to know when we can’t see the truth about a person who is important to us. We need to get out of our own way and recognize the blind spots.

    Perhaps you know someone who lives in denial of a life situation. Is it frustrating for you? Your best friend’s husband is cheating and she won’t see it because he has always been so wonderful. The esteemed doctor is coming to work with alcohol on his breath and is making mistakes in diagnosing and treating. You don’t want to stop believing that the doctor is a good doctor, so you let him go on making awful mistakes, perhaps until it hurts someone.

    We want our belief structures, and that’s okay. We just have to learn to call them what they are: beliefs, not facts.

  • Baby Boomers,  It is What it is...,  Personal Growth,  Psychology of Life,  Self Responsibility

    How to quit spending money on clothes you don’t need and probably don’t want: Ignore your Aspirational Self

    As a member of some wardrobe and consumerism threads on Reddit, I have begun to see this term often: my aspirational self. It took a long time for the idea to sink into my psyche.

    An aspirational self is someone I’d like to be, I’m not quite there yet. The truth, I may not ever be that self. In some cases, it’s ridiculous to think that I’ll ever be my aspirational self.

    It’s a concept that I have discussed with hubby before. Not realizing what it was. Most of my clothes are from LLBean, which is a clothing store dedicated to the outside. Their tag line is “be an outsider”. They often print “bring the outside in” on their materials. Hubby wants to know why I shop there. I am not able to spend much time outside. I’m in my 60s and I’m disabled. Me spending time outside is aspirational thinking. I am not a rugged individual who will go on a hike.

    Photo by Charlota Blunarova on Unsplash

    This spring I am going through lots of things in my house, it’s a spring cleaning.

    I keep running across my aspirational self. These items have never been worn or never been used (it’s not the LLBean clothes, I do use them).

    When I make the purchase, I really believe in it, I’m thrilled to receive it, but then it doesn’t turn out. Part of the reason is the vast experimentation that online shopping is, but most of the time the reason is that aspirational self who wants to be someone that I am not.

    I’ve left behind many identities in my life and for some reason, I can’t seem to pick up and define a new one. One of the reasons I find it so difficult is what is left for me? I have been a successful manager, I was a therapist for many years, I was a director of finance. As a young woman I was attractive and received a lot of attention because I was beautiful. I dressed up often and turned heads when I did.

    Always I see myself as lithe and put together. I reasoned that because I cared about my appearance that I was managing my identity well. Successful and attractive businesswoman.

    I want to continue receiving the respect and the care that I was given when I was in my business persona. I want to be glamorous and well done.

    But why? That’s all done now and I can’t seem to get over it.

    Who am I now? Crazy old lady? Gramma with an attitude? Fun and casual blog writer? I’m not even lithe anymore and really haven’t been for a long time. I worked hard to get through the disability part. But, here I am not wanting to put away the aspirational me!

    The clothes, the purses, even the jewelry, for what? I’m not going anywhere. I’m not finished with life, but the young, attractive dressed up me is gone. I’ve accomplished much and now it’s time to enjoy. But I still can’t let the beautiful clothes and all of the accoutrements that go along with them, I can’t let them go. I love scarves and dangling earrings and handbags and pretty dresses. Of course I also like t-shirts and shorts, slacks and sweaters. But it’s the pretty stuff that’s fun and gratifying.

    Like learning and accepting my disability, I must learn and accept my current status and life circumstances. I’ve always prided myself on authenticity and here I am trying to be something else, something that I am not.

    Here is the deal, I have to quit buying things that fit into the category of what I wish to be. I’m not professional, I’m not working. I’m not lithe. I can’t go on a hike. I don’t have an occasion for a cocktail party. The cocktail get-togethers that I go to, I wear a t-shirt, shorts and sandals. No one wears cocktail rings at these get-togethers. We all go casual.

    I’ve been spending too much money on some things and someone who doesn’t exist. I’ve got to stop now.

  • Baby Boomers,  Capitalism,  Congress,  Economic Equality (A Goal),  Psychology of Life,  Speaking as a Parent,  World Affairs

    Young Person, Why do you Dismiss the Old?

    I don’t understand how you think, when you think that I don’t understand the current life of the world?

    You’ve dismissed me based on what?

    I personally saw all of the things that have created the life that we have in America right now.

    I stood completely still (and I was only four) when the announcement came on TV that President Kennedy had been assassinated. Everyone that was alive at that moment in time knew that life in America had changed, and everyone cried about it.

    History in Hand 1142891 Unsplash

    I glared angrily at the tv while Nixon denied his contribution to Watergate. Even though I was still a kid at home, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was lying, and I have no idea how I knew.

    As a teenager, I wandered across the country with my toddler sons. We were able to visit and live in different climates and different thinking styles. I wanted to go to college, I have no idea where that desire came from, but it’s what I wanted. We moved to California in 1977 because junior college was free. I worked two jobs and it still wasn’t enough. I was a teenager and there was no way that I was going to be able to support myself and my sons on my own. Economic reality, that is all. I could give you all the details, like finding care for the boys while working eighty hours a week, but it doesn’t matter. Everyone understands how real this fact is, even today. A teenage mother cannot support herself and children on her own, no matter how hard she tries.

    Marriage and a business was next in my life. The business taught me so much about everything that you can count. I was an accountant back in the days of pencils. I went to a bookkeeping class (back in ’74) which helped me so much during this next life chapter. I had to know how to manage money because that’s not what my husband (and business partner) knew how to do.

    History Lesson Over

    My children, my grandchildren, why aren’t you taking advantage of this wealth of information? I can do taxes, upside down and standing on my head and yet you would never ask me a question about taxes. Why not?

    Unfortunately, the eighties and the nineties were all about being rich and so that is what my children absorbed. They loved all of being rich and never understood the costs of wealth or how it needed to be managed. There is a thinking today that is strictly capitalistic, and it says wealth at any cost.

    Nothing I could do or say could change any of that. My kids want to be rich. There is an attitude of blame leveled at me because I didn’t achieve wealth. How could I be middle class? Middle class was a crime.

    In spite of this, I wonder why my kids would think that I am clueless and that I don’t understand the politics of today. Why is that the thinking of the young? Old people are dumb? How could a smart person come to that conclusion? Because it’s the era, the culture of America today.

    Culture is King

    And that’s my next question, why do people fall for a pretty presentation hook, line and sinker without a thorough investigation? How come young people don’t know the difference between facts and fiction? Why are we looking at pretty pictures and not seeing the truth? And finally, why Trump?

    I can see that from a young person’s viewpoint, disruption is the goal. Who we elected into office have not helped the American people. In fact, it seems the senators and congresspeople have, instead, merely used their congressional seats to enrich themselves.

    They make the laws and based on their own legislation they can take money from a donor and then make a law specifically for that donor. A good example of this practice is pharmaceutical companies. Pharmaceutical companies rape people who need medication, and they allow poor people to die because of poverty. That’s because congress has made laws protecting pharmaceutical companies, protecting their ability to make money.

    From a young person’s perspective, we have failed. As adults we have created a world that is terribly wrong. The problem is that young people do not know what the problem is. They and their mentor Trump, are like bulls in a China shop, disrupting everything that is in front of them. We know what is wrong! But no one is listening.

    We are here trying to talk with young people about what is wrong. But no one is listening.

    We have proof that Trump is only enriching himself and NOT helping Americans. But no one is listening.

    Three Americans own more wealth than the bottom fifty percent of American people. No one is listening.

    I wish we could talk. But no one is listening.

  • Human Evolution,  Personal Growth,  Psychology of Life,  Self Responsibility,  Wise Words

    Human Evolution: Self Responsibility

    Even as I stood there glaring at him through my tear-filled eyes, for one single moment thinking “I hate you more than I can say”, I knew that he was right.

    When you receive the truth from a dumbass, it doesn’t mean that the truth isn’t true. And that’s what I was facing at this moment. This is true and it hurts.

    What he said was “you need to look inside to find out why this happened, your experience sources from you”.

    By the time we were having this discussion I had been practicing this discipline for about ten years. I wanted to be responsible for myself and moreover responsible for my own feelings. Self-Responsibility is a discipline and for me, one that I had to fight for and train for. I felt strongly about teaching my children to own their circumstances and their own lives, no matter how difficult it could be. In order to do this, I had to learn and apply this discipline without failure.

    But I didn’t want to hear it from this man, my husband, who had never practiced any type of self-responsibility in his life. We were in a Lifespring training, working on our own human evolution and it wasn’t my business whether he was learning or not. The only thing that was my business was my own learning. And vice versa.

    Colorado — JB Collection

    The sad fact of the matter is that, in that ten-year interim, I hadn’t met anyone who understood the concepts surrounding responsibility for self. People just don’t believe that way. I was back in this training room because if you live for ten years believing in concepts that no one else believes, you can start to question those concepts. And I certainly did. I thought maybe there was some mistake. Aren’t there situations where it was someone else’s fault? So here I was in this training room working on my own human evolution, but this time with a husband, who didn’t understand me at all.

    My husband was very good at getting people to believe that he understood how to hold himself accountable to his commitments. In reality, not only did he break his commitments, but he didn’t take any responsibility for what he did. From what I remember about us; it was all my fault.

    The definition of self-responsibility is accepting your role in your situation and in your thoughts and feelings. It is your decisions that made your life what it is today. It is not an opportunity for self-blame and other-blame. It is merely an understanding of the reality of our lives. It is an opportunity to look within to see hidden motivations and irrational beliefs that explain decisions. Or even merely to reinforce the state of your mental health. There is no time in our lives when we are not responsible for ourselves.

    “Self-aware: conscious of the moment and your surroundings, the purpose of getting away from ego is to be self-aware.” “Self-awareness and self-responsibility go hand in hand.” (BHB)

    “I can’t get a job because I have to wait for paperwork that will help me.”

    Self-aware is “I don’t want a job.”

    “I can’t move because it will upset my family.”

    Self-aware is “I don’t want to move.”

    It’s been 45 years since my first personal growth training. It’s been that long since I became responsible for myself. I don’t doubt it anymore. Just last week my granddaughter called me about her tax return, and she couldn’t understand why someone else had not fixed her problem for her. We are going to have a talk soon. The only item that’s really important for us to talk about is this concept of who is responsible for her taxes and why is she letting overwhelm crush her ability to manage her life?

    Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

    I don’t blame her. Overwhelm was always my mistake. When you know that no one is going to fix things for you, your approach to life changes. You really do need to stop and figure out how to manage the issues. If you don’t, then the issues begin to manage you.

  • Love and Relationships,  Mother,  Psychology of Life,  Speaking as a Parent

    Perception: Events Become Beliefs

    A young and confused man who needs help with his injury is turned away from the emergency department after he is stabilized with no follow up care, because he has no insurance or money. He has a broken arm and cannot work for weeks, his injury heals incorrectly, causing a disability. This young man may feel and believe that people are hostile and do not care for others.

    Contrast this with a wealthy and beautiful socialite who gets sick. Her environment will give her a social response of great care. The staff and her family will get medicine and soup for her and prod her to rest. This woman believes that people are good. Both thinkers are correct and yet both are incorrect. They are incorrect because they turn these events into belief structures.

    People have perceptions based on where they are: struggling student vs successful businessman, stock market failure or middle-aged business woman, and who they are: married, widowed, woman, old man, gay, young girl.

    The Construct of Belief Systems

    Those perceptions are guideposts to belief systems and they are structured on those perceptions. Belief systems are the bedrock of our lives. They allow us to proceed with ease by helping us to not question each activity that we engage in with others. Illusions and biases are the construct for ensuring that the belief system persists throughout life.

    For example, believing that you are a good person will make you act like you are good and it will also make you go to extreme measures to show how good you are. Guilt will be formed when this belief is faced with a reality that doesn’t match with these beliefs. This will create cognitive dissonance. In fact, the person stole cash from a friend and yet wants to believe in their own goodness. This person will have guilt. (Providing that the person has a conscience and is capable of feeling guilt.) Then they may deny the theft, or they may justify the theft by stating (to self) that the friend could afford the theft. Much has been written about denial.

    If you are a human being, it will benefit you to understand the brain’s demand for structuring an actual foundation for beliefs. This demand for a belief structure can lead you to reinforce your beliefs in spite of counter evidence. Your bias can actually “bend reality” so that what has occurred in front of you, becomes your perception and not reality. We want our world to fit our pre-conceptions of reality.

    How Perceptions Shape How We Treat Others

    Perceptions and beliefs are how we treat ourselves as well as how we treat others. Perhaps the most painful part of perception as reality is dismissing the aging population in America. If you are over sixty you have experienced a younger person dismissing your knowledge, wisdom and abilities. If you are in the workforce, you have been supervised by someone who is younger than you – and that someone, inevitably has a negative opinion of anyone over 60. It’s a fact of life in America.

    We paint the world with our perceptions. Our own experience becomes the way of the world. I have spoken with many who believe that their own experience defines the universe. I spoke with a woman about medical EHRs (electronic health records) and she was absolutely convinced that there was a national record system. It turned out that she had a physician who worked at a large practice where the doctors shared records. In other words, her personal experience dictated her beliefs, and she wasn’t open to the fact that others have different experiences. She had great difficulty grasping the fact that others had a different experience than her own. “Others” either don’t understand, or they have done something wrong.

    This young woman often told me that because I am her mom, and “I had to” tell her that she was pretty, beautiful and amazing. I was right (of course), but, I was doubted, because I am a mom. Because moms are obligated to compliment their children, you shouldn’t believe a mom who is complimenting you.

    When our beliefs align with Reality…

    The truth is we know about the role that perception plays in life and in society. One of the reasons we love people like Professor Galloway (smart, genuine and generous) and Bonnie Raitt (talented, caring, brilliant musician) is because they really are what we perceive about them. Our perceptions did not make a mistake about these two human beings. They are what the presentation implies. This alignment gives our brain a rest. No energy has to be invested in making things right between our belief and the presentation. No cognitive dissonance occurs.