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National Rifle Association EF YOU!
This morning as I was getting ready to go to my granddaughter’s elementary school award ceremony, I had a terrible fear. I was afraid of a bloody shooting. Somehow, over the last couple of years my brain has switched its association with elementary school from a comfortable affection to an association with a paralyzing blood bath.I did not even know that it had happened until this morning.
I am somewhat disappointed in the way that my country handles these (school shootings) tragedies. While I believe that the 2nd Amendment is very well and very good. I also know my history and all that preceded the founding fathers’ document. Preceding America’s adoption of the second amendment is a worldwide history of ruling despots who raped the peasants to gain “royal” wealth. Marie Antoinette’s infamous “Let them eat cake” is the best example of callousness to the indecency that humans suffered. The peasants of France were starving and could not even afford bread to eat, when this famous princess made her statement. This statement is a good example of a wealthy ruling class gone mad with its own comfort over the health and well-being of the people.
Over 100 years ago we created our own royalty here in the United States and we call it capitalism and anyone with a bit of luck who gains money will be respected and revered by the entire country. If you are not able to get money, why then, there must be something wrong with you that makes you inferior and undeserving of wealth. This is the story that we tell in America.
How is our current American wealthy any different than the European despots who ruled so carelessly that peasants starved while royalty laughed in ignorance?
In any case, back to guns, the English were very concerned with peoples’ rights to defend themselves. They were concerned because the people were mistreated by royalty and in order to have ultimate control, royalty attempted to outlaw the ability of people to own weapons. It is very simple, it is not a long and convoluted story about Americans who want to defend themselves with firearms. The founding fathers wanted dearly to make sure that people were not mistreated in the hands of sadistic and ignorant despots who hoarded wealth for themselves. Gun ownership is not the only way to assure that the wealthy class does not mistreat humans. In fact, guns are not even the best way.
Now, Americans worship capitalism instead of royalty, we find ourselves being influenced by a propaganda campaign that is financed by gun manufacturers and dealers. Because the National Rifle Association (NRA) wants us to believe, that there is nothing wrong with gun ownership as it is now, Americans often believe it. The campaigns against any action that would protect us from crazy gun toting homicidal maniacs are insidious and nefarious. The result of these campaigns is that normal, regular everyday people get upset when you mention the regulation of gun ownership. How can that be? The NRA has the bigger single wallet. The NRA wins, again, because what we worship in this country is money and the glamorous representation of money.
I want regulation of firearms. I know that it is not guns that kill people, it is people who kill people DUH! Please don’t tell me that again – I don’t want to hear it. A homicidal maniac is much less effective at killing people if he has a cupcake instead of an automatic rifle. Wouldn’t you agree? Don’t tell me that if we outlaw guns, then only outlaws will have them, I don’t believe that either. Nor do I suggest that we take everyone’s guns. Surely there is a better solution than what we have now.
We seem to be more worried about guns than we are about what the wealthy are doing to this country. We seem to have lost our ability to take action to make things better. The whole point of the 2nd amendment was to protect the common person from being sadistically starved and controlled by uncaring rulers. Yes, it is a defense mechanism for people who had been abused. But today, we miss the point.
We are Americans and our elementary schools are not safe, and this is not because of middle eastern radicals, it is because of us.
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Single Mother Cries
The hungry wolves feed on the young of the single mother. She is blamed for everything, she can never do enough or be enough for her young – and it is for one simple reason – she is not a man. In the hungry and predatory world the single mother works and works, thinking that with money she can make choices for her self and for her children. What she does not know is that the hungry often wait for her to leave her brood so that they can feed on the innocence of those who are left alone.Single mother is desperate and tries all that she can think of to make the right life for her young, but no matter what, she can never get there, one alone cannot, does not and never will be able to do all that two can do in synergistic energy.
What can the single mother hope for, what can she count on? Will she ever stop being blamed? Will society ever help her by protecting her young? Will she ever reach economic freedom? Is she doomed to blame and pain?
Her child is 4 and he cries and cries when separated from her, she says “Mommy must go to work”. And then, still, her child is 38 and says to her “why did you leave me alone?”
Single mother cries.
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BFF Gone Wrong
As a sociology undergraduate, I recall studying an issue about groups of families who live in the subsidized housing and are on welfare. It turns out that those who have an opportunity to go to school and gain a higher income, will often not take the opportunity, because the social group that surrounds the impoverished family will reject the family who reaches up and beyond the impoverished circumstance. Sociologists documented this phenomenon and reported being mystified by the outcome of the research. For decades studies have shown that a person’s social group is very powerful in determining a person’s circumstance and future. It is not just teenagers who live and survive by virtue of the peer group, apparently, it is all of us.I passed an old friend on the crosstown expressway this morning and it put me in mind of that sociological research and here is why – my BFF (best friend forever) loved me as long as I was suffering. She gave me advice, she wanted to rescue me and she often bragged about what a great help that she was to me. The flip side of that, the side that is somewhat painful, is that she did not like me so much when I was successful and happy. When things are working right for me, I don’t need advice so much. However, there are some people and this BFF is one of those… that cannot stop giving advice. It does not appear very pleasantly to me because they seem to want to interject their opinion into every statement that someone makes. After a while, it becomes somewhat tedious to have every conversation interrupted with “well, if I were you, I would do ____”.
I can’t tell you how many people have lost my interest because they cannot stop advising me on the proper way to live. Some of these people seem to know everything. If you mention knee pain, they have had meniscus surgery and they can tell you every correct thing to do, even though they have not attended medical school.
These sorts of people are lurking everywhere. You may be afraid to open your mouth in the lunch room because you know that it will start a long and tedious ‘know-it-all’ discussion.
That is how my BFF went wrong. My real BFF would be happy for me if I was happy; she also listens intently, even when I am being stupid. My real BFF would not talk over me to give me solutions to problems I do not have (hint, they are really her problems). I wish that I could have been a better friend to her; I just got so tired of being treated like I was 16! I’m not. Give and take is how to have a relationship, if the relationship has only one direction, it won’t endure the hard times. To my old BFF, I do miss you: I just do not miss the advice.
And – as for the sociological studies that indicate you will lose your peer group if you reach for a higher ground – I hope that you will not hang onto BFFs who just want to keep you down. I hope that your true BFF lifts you higher.
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Love and Acceptance, It’s the Only Way…
I just think the best way to operate is with love and acceptance. If what you are interested in is being right – you want to show someone the “right” way to think, act or be, then you are wrong. I just don’t know any other way to say it.The only way to be “right” is if you operate from love and acceptance. If you operate from fear, anger, or anxiety, then again, you are wrong. It won’t work, it never does.
If you are wondering why your relationships are not working, try this one simple step: open your heart and accept whatever the other person is doing. Pretend as if you have unconditional positive regards for this person. No matter what they do, you will appreciate and accept this person. This is the best way to treat people that you must be with.
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Beautiful Photos to Share
Alone to your destiny, as we all must go. 
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Honesty: Where Is It?
This past week has been a bit jarring for me. Coincidentally my daughter is having a crisis about honesty. My issue is that I have been in meetings with many, many people and it appears that several of them have an issue with their memories and with honesty.Don’t get me wrong, my memory is not the greatest. I actually like to do brain exercises and puzzles to keep “working out” my brain to stave off memory loss. I am definitely not saying that I remember everything.
Here is the problem: one woman that I am acquainted with completely changed a story about an occurrence that happened eight months ago that I was a witness to. She completely fabricated a whole new story, and of course, she looked much better in her fabricated story than she looked in the incident that I witnessed.
It puts me in mind of a book that I read Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why we Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts, the authors are Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, I remembered Carol Tavris as an author from my undergraduate sociology classes, so I knew that the book would be factually based and not just another novel.
Problem Continues: a second person did it later in the week in a meeting. This person completely fabricated a new story to change perceptions of her previous actions. She contrived a story that portrayed her as a victim rather than as a perpetrator. This person is a well known perpetrator. She changed her story, she changed her behavior, she changed it all, and again, it was an occurrence that I witnessed and knew was false.
All of it was quite ugly. Sometimes, when I am completely frustrated, I shut down because I do not wish to yell at people and call them ugly. I did have to confront person number one, because her assertions were causing problems with another person.
For me, it is quite important not to become someone who must continually fabricate reality in order to be okay with who I am. The way that I accomplish this is to be present in every single moment that I can be present – and also – I find that I must acknowledge mistakes and forgive myself for making them. If I do not forgive myself, I find that later, I am bumbling around trying to make sense of a memory – “I didn’t do anything wrong!” Of course, that’s when the fabricating begins.
In the mean time, I think that if you care about someone, you can let them know that they are fabricating reality, however! If you are letting them know that you believe they are not honest and you are doing it because you believe yourself to be right and them to be wrong – then you are really not doing anything productive. You might also be harming your relationship with the person. Being right means that someone must be wrong, and I promise, as this book will demonstrate, people will go to almost any lengths to prove how right they are.
So to my lovely daughter who may speak the truth that no one wishes to hear – sometimes, it is not worth the effort, or the emotion given over to the human being who is fabricating their life. Don’t invest your passion into those people, let them go.
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Poor Sophia
All first borns have to suffer their parents’ overzealous Love –
“Poor Little Baby” -
I am Always Suspicious of…
Humans who only have relationship with animals. Think about it, cats, dogs and horses cannot talk back or tell on anyone. They will do pretty much what the human tells them to do.
Humans can do what they want (all kinds of bad things) with their animals and no one punishes the human unless what bad they do, is known. The other thing that bothers me about this arrangement is what does it say about a person when the only being that a person can live with and get along with is an animal that cannot talk back or otherwise disagree with the person?
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Into Each Life Must Come its Share of Sorrow
When I woke up on New Year’s day, I immediately, but quietly began crying. The big tears ran down my face as I lay there contemplating my grief. My daughters would be returning to their home states and I faced another year of living without them. It seemed a bit more than I could bear.Today is the anniversary of the last day I spent with my mother before she got sick and passed away. It was Martin Luther King Day in 1996 and coincidentally we were both off from work and she went shopping with me while I looked for a new car. Within six weeks of that day my mother was gone. I have always been grateful for that day, How Lucky I am to have had a day of smiles and laughter with my mother before she got sick. My mother was a loving woman and because she brought acceptance to every new experience, I have always felt peace and completion about our relationship.
On this date in 2007, my children’s father died of his one and only heart attack. He was young and it was ridiculous because he was alone and though on the phone with me (50 miles away) and then with our youngest son, almost to the last second of his life he insisted that he had a bad case of indigestion. How angry I was with him for not telling us that his chest hurt!
In both situations, my family experienced the “awful delay”.
Stopping your life to deal with your grief about losing a loved one is the awful delay.
It is no wonder that I face January and even February with a bit of trepidation. While mom actually passed away on Valentine’s Day, our last day happily together is the line of demarcation between what was and never to be again.
Today, my husband and I will be driving 120 miles round trip to see my youngest son, his partner and their new daughter Sophia Ella, who is named after her paternal grandmother. Once again I am very, very grateful. Life ends; and yet always, always, life begins again. How lucky am I to be able to know and experience these things?
